Is it weird for a guy to be obsessed with a certain culture/country?

[Anonymous]

Been dating my boyfriend for a while now and I realize that he’s weirdly obsessed with China and the Chinese culture. He finds their history and culture fascinating (I can understand) but then he would always watch Chinese news, give his dog a Chinese name, compliments Chinese girls, and would gravitate towards any movies/shows that has anything to do with China.

Also, his last two exes were Chinese and he would gush to me about their culture a lot. I don't know why but it’s getting in my head and it’s making me feel insecure because I’m not Chinese. I can understand his appreciation for China/the Chinese culture but he gushes about China so much and it’s just a bit weird to me. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

[Anonymous]

The fact he’s complimenting and gushing about other women in general seems more noteworthy to me than being insecure about their race.

[Asker]

You’re absolutely right. But the way he talks about them is almost ad if he’s fetishizing them and he’s only looking at them because of their race, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

[Opinion Owner]

What if it were Spanish culture he had this fixation with? Indian culture? Ethiopian? My point is that I don’t think the region matters so much as him fetishizing the women within it. I’m not saying you’re wrong at all, I agree he’s got some sort of obsession with Chinese culture to be trying so hard to mesh with it. But the fact he’s noticeably acknowledging other women and won’t stop with that level of disrespect, knowing you’ve seen it and don’t like it, would genuinely make me leave him.

If anything I’d worry that since he’s so obsessed with that culture and it’s women, he may leave you if he finds a willing Asian and that is unsettling. Don’t let him do you wrong like this then get the satisfaction of leaving you too. You may think he’d never do that, he loves you, the relationship is good, etc, and a those things can be true. Yet you probably didn’t expect him to yap about other women as candidly as he does but here we are. The mask is off girl, this is who he is and what you will be dealing with. I hope your head leads your next choice more than your heart.

[Asker]

I guess because I’m also Asian so it’s triggering me and it’s making me feel like I’m not the right kind of Asian for him… Him openly complimenting other girls have also hit me in my insecurity, not sure if he’s doing it on purpose but I’m starting to see that he might just be settling with me.

I will have a talk with him and see how he’ll approach this issue then decide from there. But thanks so much for offering me a different insight, it’s much appreciated. You’ve been wonderful!

[Opinion Owner]

I hope the fact that you’re Asian and your boyfriend has this odd obsession with Asian girls and culture have an impact on your decision. I know it’s the holidays, you’re relationship is probably fine for the most part until this happens, but keep in mind that it does happen and will most likely happen again based off his track record. I’m not sure how a talk would go if he’s just trying to be with you based off your race, or how you would know if that’s the case or not. This isn’t a marriage, if you left you know you have he strength in there somewhere to get over it. Wishing you luck with your decision, glad to help💛

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your support, you’ve given me the confidence to speak up. I hope you have an awesome new year!