MMy best guy friend is pulling away and I don'tknow what to do?

[Anonymous]

My guy friend and i are super close. He is close with my brother and family as well since everyone has known eachother for a long time. ( family friends). Anways lately i have noticed he has started coming over less and less. When i call and ask him he says busy with other things. I'm just in my head thinking maybe he picked up on my feelings for him and that's why he is acting distant. ( he is a very reserved shy guy ). During our alone hang outs he smiles at me he leans in and just finds excuses to get closer. He is always looking for ways to solve something for me if im struggling with something and i do the same for him. Now i feel like maybe i mis interpreted everything and somehow he picked up om my feelings and is avoiding me all together. Should i just give him space and let him go? Because i did ask him yesterday if he was okay and he seemed a bit down and he said everything is okay he is just busy so honestly there's nothing more I can do at this point.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that's a tough situation girl. It sounds like your best guy friend has been pulling away from you lately, and you're worried it might have something to do with your feelings for him. That's a really tricky thing to navigate.

I get why you'd be feeling so confused and unsure about what to do. On one hand, he's been showing signs that he might be into you too - the smiling, leaning in, trying to help you out. So it's natural to wonder if he's picked up on your feelings and that's making him distance himself.

But on the other hand, he's telling you he's just busy with other stuff. So it might not be anything to do with you at all. Guys can be weird and cryptic sometimes, you know?

My advice would be to just give him a bit of space for now, like you said. Don't force the issue or pressure him to hang out more. If he's going through something or needs time, it's better to let him have that instead of pushing.

Just be there for him if he needs to talk, but don't bring up your feelings or make assumptions. Focus on being a good friend and supporting him, even if he's a bit distant. Hopefully, he'll open up when he's ready.

In the meantime, try not to overthink it too much or let it consume you. I know it's hard when you care about someone, but try to stay positive. This could just be a temporary thing, and he might come back around when he's got his stuff figured out.

The most important thing is to take care of yourself too, girl. Don't neglect your own needs or let this situation drag you down. Spend time with other friends, pursue your own interests, and give yourself that self-care. You've got this!

And if it does turn out that he's pulling away because of your feelings, then you'll have to decide if you can be content with just being friends. But don't worry about that right now. Just focus on being there for him, and see how it plays out. Wishing you all the best, sis!

[Asker]

Thank you so much! My gut feeling is saying to just give him space for now.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I think giving him some space is definitely the right call here. Your gut is usually pretty spot on when it comes to these kinds of tricky friend situations.

It sucks that he's been pulling away, but forcing the issue or trying to get him to open up when he's not ready could just end up pushing him further away. Sometimes people just need a little time and distance to figure things out on their own.

The good news is, you two have a really solid foundation of friendship already. Even if he's being distant right now, that history and bond is still there. So if you give him the space he seems to need, there's a good chance he'll come back around when he's ready.

In the meantime, try not to let it get you down too much. Focus on your other friends and hobbies, do some self-care, and be there for him if he does reach out. But don't stress about constantly checking in or trying to "fix" the situation. Just let it play out, and have faith that your friendship will come out stronger on the other side.

You're handling this exactly right, girl. I know it's not easy, but you're being super mature and level-headed about it. Keep doing you, and he'll see what an amazing friend you are when he comes back around. Sending you all the positive vibes!

[Asker]

Hi oliver thank you for your response! He did end up calling me and he told me one of his friends commented on his distant behaviour from last week and he recalled i had said the same to him. He asked me what exactly he did to make me think he was being distant. I honestly told him why i felt that way and he said " honestly there's nothing ypu can do that can make me mad at you and even if something did happen i would tell you and i dont want you to feel that way and i really am sorry, i can understand how it might habe come off that way and im sorry"

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey whoa, that's great that he reached out to you and you were able to have that open conversation! Sounds like he really wanted to clear the air and make sure you didn't feel like he was pulling away for any reason.

The fact that he apologized and said there's nothing you could do to make him mad at you is super reassuring. It shows he values your friendship and doesn't want there to be any misunderstandings or hurt feelings between you two.

And him acknowledging that his actions may have come across as distant, even if that wasn't his intent, is a really mature and thoughtful response. He's clearly making an effort to understand your perspective and make things right.

It's awesome that you were both able to be so honest and open with each other. Communicating those feelings directly, instead of just letting them fester, was definitely the right call. Now you both know where the other is coming from.

Sounds like he really cares about you and your friendship. The fact that he reached out unprompted to address this shows he's committed to maintaining that close bond. That's a pretty special thing to have in a friend.

I'm glad you guys were able to clear the air. Holding onto those open lines of communication is so important, especially for best friends. Keep being there for each other, and don't be afraid to speak up if something's bothering you in the future. Sounds like he'll always be receptive.

[jahaims]

You don't trust your friend? He said he is busy.

[Asker]

Its not about trust its about the distance. Everyone has has noticed it too. He says he will come over but just doesn't show up.