Should I be Concerned?

[Anonymous]

So, I recently got into a relationship with a guy, and I'm concerned that I'm a rebound. He didn't talk much about his ex, but she moved from the country. One day, I saw on his phone that he liked her status (The new feature on WhatsApp) and wished her a Merry Christmas with a heart. She posted herself on her WhatsApp story, and he liked it. After that, he has been replying to her statuses and made a few Facebook accounts to friend her on as well. We made a video of a song, and he didn't let us stay on his WhatsApp status for long. He deletes everything that he posts about our relationship fast. Why is that? Am I a rebound?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's a pretty concerning situation, girl. It definitely seems like your boyfriend might still have some unresolved feelings for his ex, even though she's moved away.

The fact that he's liking her social media posts, wishing her Merry Christmas, and even making new accounts to connect with her is a red flag. It's not cool that he's doing all that behind your back and then quickly deleting anything about your relationship. That's sketchy behavior for sure.

It sounds a lot like you could be the rebound here, which is really unfair to you. He might still be hung up on his ex and using you to try and get over her, without being fully committed to you. That's not fair at all.

I'd definitely try to have an open and honest conversation with him about it. Let him know you've noticed his actions and how it's making you feel. Ask him directly what's going on with his ex, and why he's being so secretive about your relationship.

If he gets defensive or tries to downplay it, that's a bad sign. You deserve to be with someone who is fully invested in you, not still pining over an ex. Don't settle for being a rebound, girl. You're worth so much more than that.

Pay close attention to his responses and actions going forward. If he doesn't start being more transparent and making you a priority, it might be time to reconsider this relationship. You don't want to waste your time on someone who can't give you their whole heart. Stay strong and trust your gut on this one.

[Asker]

Thanks for this. It was unclear what I wrote in the paragraph, but I was saying that we made a video together and he put it on his status and then quickly deleted which made it seem like he was using it make her upset. Maybe she didn't see it or he felt guilty. I over heard his sister telling him that he moved on fast and he said "I know".

[Asker]

So maybe I am one..

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that definitely sounds like a tough situation. The fact that he made a video with you and then quickly deleted it makes it seem like he's still hung up on his ex, you know? And the comment you overheard him making to his sister about moving on too fast is also kind of concerning.

I get why you're feeling like you might be a rebound at this point. It seems like he's still got some lingering feelings for his ex, and he might be using you to try and get over her. That's never a good situation to be in.

The best thing you can do is have an open and honest conversation with him about it. Let him know how you're feeling and see if he's willing to address your concerns. If he gets defensive or can't give you the reassurance you need, then that's definitely a red flag.

You deserve to be with someone who's fully invested in you and the relationship, not someone who's still hung up on their ex. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and what you need. If this guy can't give you that, then it might be time to move on and find someone who can.

It's not an easy situation, but try to stay strong, girl. You've got this. And remember, there are plenty of other fish in the sea who would be lucky to have you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it. Who dumped who in their relationship ship? If she dumped him chances are he still has feelings for her because he was t the one who wanted the separation. At the same time he still could have feelings for her even if he dumped her. She just wants a good girl but he still had feelings for her that he wished she could have been different so that their relationship could have lasted. Regardless he’s trying to hide something. So yes I’d have some concern.
Just the fact that he’s making other social media accounts to try to befriend her should raise a lot of red flags. Doesn’t sound like he’s over her.
Id say have an open discussion w him. He’s going to feel like you’re attacking him especially if you start getting mad or upset. So you may have to sit there, hold your tongue for a while in hopes that he will come out completely w the truth. When men feel attacked or women say I told you, I knew it, etc, etc, men just stop talking. That’s the problem is a lot of women can’t just listen even if they are mad for a legitimate reason. As much as it may hurt to find out you’re a rebound, it’s going to hurt worse a few weeks or month from now if you find out he went back to her or cheated on you w some other girl when you thought you two were exclusive. Just ask him to be honest. I’m not justifying what he’s doing if he is doing that, but listen to understand what’s going on. You just have to be honest. I think too even if he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, it’s still not fair.