Why do men who rejected you always come back?

[MoonFace2]

I’ve had ex boyfriends and ex crushes make a reappearance into my life, when one minute they were acting like they hated me, the next, years later, they’re trying to impress me. To the point where I have to actively avoid them on dating apps. Or avoid using some of them altogether.

It seems like they were embarrassed or insulted by the thought of my having been interested in them years ago. Note, I am pretty but fat (because of my medication causing weight gain); and I was fatter and less pretty then and more of a try hard.

Have these men matured and have I improved, or are they all just realising that I was the best they could do? (I know at least one ex boyfriend and one ex friends with benefits were just desperate).

I have no intention of chasing these men. I just am curious as to why this almost always happens.

Updates

1 y

I’m not always prettier when they try to come back, but I usually am and more confident.

[Summeroflove]

I don’t really know maybe they regretted their decision later on. Maybe they were taken but aren’t…. Maybe they didn’t want you but caught feelings later.

As for me if I reject someone it’s because I genuinely don’t want them and probably never will…. Never say never but probably…

Maybe they thought they were too good for you but… It never worked out nothing ever materialized so they came back to you assuming you would take them.

Chasing people is stupid it should be a equal effort. I refuse to chase anyone whose not pursuing equal effort it’s a waste of time and leads to one sided relationships.

[Vegasrunner]

No. This is an easy answer. Those men don't have other options so they're going back to the girl they believe is gettable. The fact that you're over weight means that the level of men that you can attract is going to be low. The good news for you is these guys will always come back because any women is better than no woman.

[MoonFace2]

I don’t consider that good news, their coming back.

[MoonFace2]

The level of men that I can attract isn’t low. Surprisingly.

[Vegasrunner]

@moonface2 Any woman can attract men. Your metric is can you attract a man you admire and respect and get him to committ to you.

[MoonFace2]

You mean because men aren’t blinded by lust? You raise a valid point. Thank you. I’d never seen it that way, before.

[Vegasrunner]

@moonface2 I think you meant to say because Men ARE blinded by just. And yes that is correct, I guy will gladly sleep w/ a LV woman, simply because he has no better options.

[MoonFace2]

Possibly. Thank you for your answer.

[MoonFace2]

I’m not low value however. But I get what you’re saying, someone they see as low value.

[Vegasrunner]

@moonface2 Oh, I thought you said you were fat.

[MoonFace2]

I’m fat but not morbidly obese. I’ve been asked three times to model professionally (not a scam); and I wasn’t looking for it. I started off slim and quite beautiful, so now I’m not beautiful, but still very pretty, a lot prettier than most fat people.

[MoonFace2]

I’m not offended. I find it very helpful online to hear the truth and other people’s truths. To get to open my mind and see things through other people’s eyes.

[MoonFace2]

But I think you’re probably right that they see me as low value 😊

[Vegasrunner]

@Staximus I've never met her but men typically see fat women as low value you are correct.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Like a handsome Brady.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Most of us will bop just about any woman.

[UnwantedScorpio]

This happened to me how weird

[DishLady]

Thank you for asking this question. I have NO idea.


I’m not getting into the whole story here, but basically someone who vehemently denied having anything to do with me suddenly started chasing me down since I chose to completely ignore him. (It’s the oddest thing I’ve ever seen because he basically HAD ME in front of him for months but only acted on his feelings now, after making a mess.)


Maybe it’s just a game for the guy… to see if he CAN get the girl back… if she still has feelings and will give in.


But why cater to poor behavior? If he’s dumped you once he’ll do it again.

[SingleGuy101]

From the perspective of a single guy. Guys have to make choices. It is not easy to pick the right girl. Guys run into problems with the other girl. It is not that you are inferior to the others, it is more that men try to find the perfect female that they can get along with. The other girl might be attached already and he doesn't know it. The other girl might be a sex-only relationship type. The other girls may not be interested in him. The other girls may not be approachable. Guys have a hard time resisting another girl that is interested in him.

[Anonymous]

It could be a number of reasons. One, yes could be maturing. Maybe you’ve developed more physically so they’re just looking to smash. Could have been that they were embarrassed to admit they like plus size chicks. Or could also be like you said, that they realized that you were the best they could get. Some dudes might just be horny. Maybe they figure you’d be an easy target thinking you might not get as much play from men. So maybe you’re lonely, willing to give it up easy. Maybe you’ve lost a little weight. There’s many reasons.

[beefcakebradybatson]

I've NEVER been into fat chicks !!!

[Anonymous]

Probably for the same reason women do this.

Yes both are possible. It's possible he's matured. It's also possible that he figures you're the best he's going to do.

Personally, I don't give second chances. If a woman passes on me she's wasting her time ever trying again. There's 4 billion of the opposite gender in the world. Why be with one that doesn't treat you like you're the person for them from day one. That's what I say.

[NicholasRedone]

They're immature and lack life experience - your typical 18 year old male. Once he's wisened up by age 30, he'll be fine not to do it again. That or the threat of arrest ❌🤨

[Tomisworthless]

its only but a threat

[GlowUpGirly5]

Don't flatter yourself it's boredom. They still find you unattractive and repulsive.

[MoonFace2]

I don’t consider it flattering regardless of their reasons for approaching me.

[AviatorTom]

Most likely because you showed an interest in them, so when they are looking for a relationship later on, they might come back to you

[blueonblack22]

Often this is more about wanting closure about something.

[dustybiker2]

They thought they found better perhaps? Ooopsie. Too late.

[WhitneySnow]

They probably realized how pretty you had become and regretted rejecting you

[IFdyourmom1]

Cause they're pathetic desp. losers, fuckface

[MoonFace2]

Fuckface isn’t very nice. However, I like the rest of your answer.

[IFdyourmom1]

Thanks

[BMW_888]

They don't know what they got until is gone. Not matured to handle a good women.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Hopefully, these men have matured;but often we boys come back in hopes a girl will change her mind.

[chocolatetwopointo]

bc they’re desperate for attention. most likely, his girl dumped him and he wants somebody else to distract him.

[Wise4myage]

They realize they fucked up and want another chance.

[Ladsin2]

They found that they can't get the woman they want. So they're returning to the same well.

[MikeRJ]

They don't always come back.

[MoonFace2]

Not always, but most of the time

[Flower7]

Because you were their back-up plan.

[linka_pat307]

Realisation of the true

[KrakenAttackin]

They just want to hit it again.

[Anonymous]

Believe me they dont they are just horny

[MoonFace2]

Well, they’re getting nothing from yours truly 🥰

[UnwantedScorpio]

Good for you moon

[Vampirelover_12]

Money. Drives men crazy.

[Anonymous]

They don't.

[Alena115]

they are...