Guys, Why men pull away after getting close?

[Anonymous]

Why do men pull away? What is going on through your minds when you pull away from someone you like?

I recently rekindled with an old crush. We both liked each other years ago but never got the timing right. He recently confessed to me and I accepted. We decided to take things slow since we were getting to know each other again after years of not being in each others lives.

We broke almost every rule we’ve set. We got on like a house on fire. In the beginning it was hour long phone calls, we were pretty intimate in a way where it felt like we were making up for lost time, we had a strong pull to each other to want to be around one another all the time.. we love the same way. When we like someone, we LIKE someone. So it’s almost a dance of trying to not come off too strong.

I have no doubt in my mind that he likes me. He recently told me that he was sorry for distancing himself but needed to sort out his feelings. But then Valentine’s Day rolls around and the sparks were pretty intense. I wasn’t the only one that felt it. Since then, we’ve been pretty distant and have barely talked.

I understand that men tend to pull back at points during a relationship but what I want to know is what could be going on in his mind? I’m giving him the space to think, breathe and be him. I understand the intensity may have been a bit much…hell it was a lot for me too.

A few questions for the men of this site:

• Have you men ever pulled away from a girl liked?
• How did it feel to finally get the girl you’ve been wanting? Did it overwhelm you? Did it workout?
• What could possibly be going through a man’s mind when he pulls away a bit?

[Summeroflove]

There is many possible reasons the first being many people who have long drawn out attractions to someone without ever being with them create a fantasy in their head of what someone’s like. That isn’t really who they are until they meet them and get to know them they loose interest…

Another possible reason is that some people instead of genuinely wanting someone they see someone as more of a challenge but once they conquer that challenge it’s on to the next one.

Another thing that happens is the speed of relationships that move way too fast or too slow as well as communication issues. Some people see how fast a relationship is moving they are too far ahead of where they feel comfortable and begin pumping the brakes.

I definitely think there needs to be communication between the two of you I definitely think it can work but sometimes people have mixed feelings, sometimes people are scared to share how they feel whether positive or negative, some people need space to think, it just depends. But people need to communicate with one another. Talk to him ask him how he feels. Ask him if things are just moving way too fast for him ask him if he’s loosing interest.

You have valid concerns and so does he so you need to talk to one another. I definitely think things could genuinely work out if there is communication. Sometimes people don’t mean to be confusing. They have a hard time with communication and don’t want to loose the relationship or hurt you. They may unintentionally send mixed signals because they just are having mixed feelings themselves.

I will say too to be aware if there is other people in the picture I’m not saying there is but some people may be taking to other people or something like that not saying that’s him. I assume he’s a good guy who has genuine feelings and so are you. But you’re going to need to talk.

[Asker]

How should I go about initiating that conversation? Should I just wait for him to reach out and see if he acknowledges it again?

[Summeroflove]

Asker just speak from the heart

[Summeroflove]

Sounds cheesy but it’s my honest answer

[Asker]

I can’t lie. I’m a bit scared to. I don’t want to come off too strong but I understand that leaving things as is won’t help either :(

[Summeroflove]

Asker it’s not coming on too strong would be annoying someone all the time just blowing them up.

[Anonymous]

Could just be that he got what he wanted. Doesn’t sound like he had to put in much effort to get between your legs.
it’s possible he was in the middle of something w someone else. This may have just made it more confusing. He may have felt like it was going to fast as far as an actual relationship. But he wasn’t opposed to sleeping w you. You may just not be the one.
There’s a lot of reason why he may have done this. Hard to say. The pouring on of affection may have been his way of getting to your feelings to open up for him sexually.

[Asker]

Thank you

[glennos89]

Obviously if he pulls away he has some serious doubts otherwise he wouldn't do that

[Asker]

From a males perspective, what kind of doubts do you think he might be having?

[glennos89]

*Maybe something about your behaviour
*Maybe because of some things that happened in the past he can't get out of his head
*Maybe because he still is seeing somebody else aswell
*Maybe he just wants to have a friends with benefits relationship with you

Could be a lot of things to be honest

[Asker]

Thank you

[glennos89]

Your welcome 🤗

[Anonymous]

I might have by accident. I wish I knew. It would. I hope so. Maybe he is scared of commitment.

There is a girl who I know I would want to take it slow and easy, but my feelings for her would ramp everything up to 11.

[wk_85]

Might be some reasons