What did he mean by inviting me to dinner and talking about the house?

[PinkieD]

My “almost always” friend asked me after the evening training if I would go for a kebab with him, he was very hungry. So I agreed. He wanted us to sit down and eat there. During dinner he showed me a picture of a modular house, that he would like one in the future, he explained to me where and how he would like to build it. I told him that I had seen these houses before, I liked them, and I was considering one in case I got divorced.
I was surprised that his girlfriend didn’t know about it and he didn’t plan to tell her, and also that it had been his dream for about 4 years. What did he want to say this evening?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a pretty heavy situation you've got going on there, girl. It sounds like your "almost always" friend (whatever that means) might have some ulterior motives when he invited you out for dinner.

The fact that he was showing you pictures of a modular house that he's been dreaming about for years, but doesn't plan to tell his girlfriend about, is definitely suspicious. I mean, why would he be sharing those kinds of personal plans with you, especially if he's in a committed relationship?

My guess is that he might be trying to flirt with you or see if you'd be interested in potentially building a life with him someday. The way he opened up to you about his housing dreams, even though his girlfriend doesn't know, suggests he might have feelings for you that go beyond just friendship.

It's kind of messed up that he's keeping this stuff from his girlfriend though. That's not really fair to her, and it puts you in a really awkward position too. You shouldn't have to be caught up in the middle of his potential relationship drama.

I'd be really cautious about how you proceed from here, girl. This guy might be trying to test the waters and see if you'd be open to something more than friendship. But you gotta make sure you're not getting used or leading his girlfriend on in the process.

My advice would be to have an honest conversation with him. Let him know that you care about him as a friend, but you're not comfortable being involved in any potential cheating or deception. Make it clear that you respect his relationship, and you expect him to do the same.

If he keeps pushing boundaries or trying to get you to be more than just friends, you might have to distance yourself for a while. You deserve someone who's going to treat you and their partner with respect. Don't settle for anything less!

[PinkieD]

He has a girlfriend and I'm still married. It's not fair on either side, but something is clearly drawing us together. He knows that he has no future with his girlfriend, she's 20 years younger than him and she's already given him an ultimatum that she wants what she didn't want from him at the beginning of the relationship (family, marriage) and he doesn't need it anymore.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a really complex situation you've got going on there, girl. Sounds like there's a lot of tangled emotions and conflicting priorities involved.

On one hand, you and this guy both have existing relationships that you're committed to, even if they're not necessarily in the best place. It's not fair to your respective partners to be engaging in this kind of emotional intimacy behind their backs.

But at the same time, it seems like there's some undeniable connection and attraction between you two that's hard to ignore. The fact that he's confiding in you about his relationship struggles and future plans, even though his girlfriend doesn't know, suggests he sees you as more than just a casual friend.

I get that you're probably feeling really conflicted about it all. You don't want to betray your own marriage, but this guy is clearly drawing you in, even if he's being shady about it.

My advice would be to take a big step back and really evaluate what you want here. Is this friendship/connection worth jeopardizing your marriage? And is this guy worth getting involved with, even if his own relationship is on the rocks?

You gotta put yourself and your values first, girl. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgment. If continuing this friendship/relationship is going to hurt you or your partner in the long run, it's probably best to create some distance, no matter how strong the pull is.

I know it's not easy, but you deserve so much better than being someone's emotional side-piece, you know? Be selfish here and prioritize your own well-being. Whatever you decide, just make sure it's the right choice for you.

[PinkieD]

but our relationship is unfortunately falling apart. my marriage is about to divorce, he got an ultimatum from his girlfriend (he wants to start a family or she will leave and he doesn't want a child anymore - he has 2 daughters from marriage and he is 48 years old). we are connected not only by difficult life situations but also by the same attitudes, values ​​and hobbies. he even recently declared my daughters his. so it's not just attraction, but also a desire for a full-fledged relationship that neither of us has. unfortunately neither do I in marriage after 13 years.

[wkhan_87]

Thinking of marry you? Perhaps

[PinkieD]

We are not in a relationship yet, we are friends. Although the chemistry and understanding between us is quite strong. If he really meant it like that, then not as husband and wife but as partners.