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Context: Last sem of college, I had a lab partner who I went from acquaintances --> friends --> closer friends who highkey had romantic tension (we touched each other a lot and would write our lab reports together just to talk and hang out and cuddle up together on the sofa) with. We only texted about lab stuff, never anything personal, and so when lab ended, we kinda never communicated again.
Until this sem, where: we drunk-reconnected at a party and he leaned all over me on the couch (to the point where my friends all kinda freaked out), then we interlocked fingers on the way home. Since then, we've been texting every day. Just casual things about our life, school etc. Our version of texting a lot is texting once a day, but in a series of like 7+ messages at once (we're both engineering students and quite busy). He engages with the conversation very well (there are many things he's said that are so kind and show he truly cares about me) and makes sure to keep it going by asking questions and typing big long paragraphs about what I say.
Anyways, my question is... why tf does he text me so much and with such kindness but then never really interacts in person? We are both very busy so I guess it makes sense that we don't have the time to hang out, but sometimes I'll be with my friends and wave at him and he can't even look me in the eye as he waves back. I also cannot read his vibe at all whether he's into me romantically or just platonically and it's killing me!!! Is there a reason guys do this? I can't imagine that he's playing me because he's not a womanizer? Our mutual guy friend also said that he was messaging him about me (I didn't ask for details as it's personal and it's not like I don't do the same with my friends). But Ahhhhh!!!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I can tell you exactly what this is based on personal lived experience. One before you worry, he's crazy about you based on this that's not the problem. This sounds like a confidence issue, nerves or social anxiety. For me it's a lot easier to say something really emotional over a message than out loud.
I don't know why but somethings don't come out right with your voice that do over a text. He probably does this because he's awkward and since he likes you, he's probably worried he'll fuck up and embarrass himself or scare you off. This is really normal for guys his age that don't have a lot of life or dating experience.
Don't doubt the affection it's clearly there, you two are young just be respectful, be careful and be responsible and everything else should happen on its own.
Aww thank you for the advice :) this totally makes sense
feels like he is playing it safe and that he doesn't know how or is shy about being direct with you. it seems more than platonic tho.
maybe the fact that you guys text a lot affects how you interact in person. the only other time (from what you said) you guys interacted irl (more than lab stuff) was when y'all were drunk. n if both of you are constantly busy and texting is more natural and easy maybe its just awk texting phase. he may need a little push, to assure him that he can take things a bit further. best of luck !
ooh okay, i see i see. thank you!
Could be romantic more than platonic, seems to be playing it safe in person
I see, I see, thank you