Why would a guy coworker want to spend more time with a girl after rejecting her?

[Anonymous]

Why would he offer to help you more and sit one to one after he rejected you?

When I say rejected I mean he said he has a girlfriend (I didn’t know that before) and now he’s offering to work together more, when really we don’t need too. He tries to get my attention when talking to other guy coworker.

What gives?

Shouldn’t he technically be avoiding me or at least be interacting at the bare minimum in a professional sense?

[Anonymous]

Ok well it wasn’t that he really rejected you. He was w someone. Now if he said no I don’t find you attractive. You’re overweight or whatever then I’d say he rejected you. He turned you down because he was w someone. Doesn’t mean he’d do the same if he wasn’t w someone. Maybe he might but to me him “rejecting” you was for a good reason. Now as far as co Toni g to talk to you. Maybe they broke up. Maybe they decided to have an open relationship. Maybe he just likes to flirt. Maybe he likes the idea of another girl wanting him. Maybe he wants you to be his side piece. It could be an ego boost. Maybe he’s looking for a one night stand. A rebound.

[Asker]

Thank you, yeah ok so you don’t see it as a proper rejection? Yes that’s all he said, no other reason. I know he’s still with his girlfriend, but I do find it weird that he’s keen to spend more time with me…I don’t know maybe because he knows I like him. I also think the timing is off, and maybe that’s why.

[Asker]

I think he actually liked me before he got with his girlfriend, but I had a boyf then, I don’t anymore. So that’s what I mean about the timing.

[Opinion Owner]

To me a rejection is somewhat mean. Like I mentioned he didn’t “reject” you by saying I’m not attracted to you or you’re hideous. It was because he was w someone. As for talking to you more. Like I said it could be a number of things that I mentioned. Maybe he’s not getting as much attention from her so he’s looking elsewhere.

[Asker]

Ok thank you, appreciate your insight,

[serious]

Yes you are actually right. If he is in a relationship then his behaviour is very inappropriate.

[Asker]

So what do you think is actually going on? Why would he bother? Is this because he feels guilty and wants to keep the peace with me at work or is it because he actually feels something? I’m so confused, if the former then to me that’s ridiculous because I couldn’t care less if we just distanced ourselves and stayed professional,

[serious]

No, I think it is the latter. I think he may have changed his mind and now feels something for you.

However, if this is not true then the only other possibility is he is trying to lead you on which is again cheap.

[Asker]

Ah right yeah that’s really weird and with the last point, why would he want to lead a girl on? What does he get out of it?

[serious]

No logical reasons for this. Except doing this for his own ego and superiority complex. When a man is trying to lead a woman on then the signs will be very similar as to what a man does when he actually and genuinely likes a woman and so leading a woman on does give some men the satisfaction that he has made a woman trust him and like him but since he is leading the woman on none of his feelings or actions are actually true.

Instead a pretention.

[Asker]

Oh right I see, so there’s no way to tell if he actually likes her or not?

[serious]

Well, it is tough but there are ways to tell. Yes.

[serious]

Here are some of signs you can see to tell if he is leading the woman on or not.

www.marriage.com/.../

www.aberdeennews.com/.../

[serious]

Hope these links will help.

[Asker]

Great thank you for your advice

[Asker]

The other thing is it would be pretty wrong of the guy to lead another girl on whilst he has a girlfriend. It would make me wonder how loyal he really is?

[serious]

Yes of course if a guy in a relationship does that then his loyalty is questionable.

[Nikki1989]

Nobody should be messing with coworkers.

[Asker]

Ideally yes, but sometimes life happens

[spartan55]

Maybe you need the help even though you don't think so. Just stop, he has a girlfriend.

[Asker]

But I don’t, we work in different teams completely, rarely does our work cross over. Tbh I don’t want to bother with him, so why does he try too…

[spartan55]

OK, great. Just decline the offer, how hard is that?

[Asker]

Yeah it’s not, it’s just annoying

[spartan55]

You understand how ridiculous you sound. You say it's not difficult to refuse his help, yet you won't do it...😂 😂 Enjoy.

[In_Trance]

Ask him why