WHAT WHAS HIS PURPOSE?

[Yzra17]

There is a boy at school. He’s younger than me. He started at the school this year. He showed behaviors that suggested he liked me. He would look at me from a distance but avoid eye contact up close. He would often check on me. Sometimes, he would do silly things to get my attention and raise his voice when walking past me. He would even adjust his direction just to pass by me. His friends would nudge him when they saw me. It was clear that he was a shy boy.

One day, I sent him a follow request on Instagram, but I got a reaction I didn’t expect. Four hours later, he declined my request. The next day, as I walked past him, he couldn’t take his eyes off me. Even though he rejected my request, he kept looking at me and would come into my line of sight on purpose so I’d notice him. I’ve now graduated, and we won’t be seeing each other for about a month.

Why was this boy behaving this way? If he liked me, why did he reject my follow request?

[SteveSmith1985]

You know... I'm usually pretty good at figuring out a guys behavior (including guys your age). This one is not easy to read though.

Your interpretation of things is the usual way a guy who liked you would behave (you were correct in your social expectations. He's being a weirdo).

So a certain kind of painfully shy guy might reject your follow request even if he liked you. And that would be very rare.

But, for him to reject your follow request THEN continue to sorta... act like he's interested in person. THAT is the weird part.

He must know that you're wondering why the hell he declined your request. Surely he knows he owes you an explanation. Surely he understands that he just rejected your attempt to try to move things forward. (in other words, you finally answered all his signals about him liking you).

So, for him to not feel weird around you... KNOWING you're thinking "what the hell is wrong with this guy?" is... crazy.

That is so weird. If he declined your follow (for whatever reason), he OUGHT to feel he owes you answers. If he isn't forthcoming with those answers... I would expect him not to even be able to look you in the eye in person. Even from across the room.

His actions do not make (social) sense.

There is something more to this situation. I have no idea what that might be. It might very well be something that exists in his head.

(some random assumption, belief, false information, or any stupid nonsensical thing a person might get into their head... that has no good reason for being a factor in their thinking. But is a factor nonetheless.)

So it's possible that you can't possibly know what's "missing" here. But there is something missing. Something is impacting this situation that is not included in what you wrote here. It is affecting how he is behaving

That's my bet anyway

Everybody knows where to stand if there's two people in an elevator (or 3 or 4 people too). Nobody thinks about it. It's just social expectations and social norms.

If you're alone on an elevator, and one other person gets on and stands in the middle. Anybody would immidiately feel very uncomfortable. Because the other person is behaving in a way that breaks the social norms. It makes no sense. Nobody does this. It's just not what people do.

This guy is behaving in a way that makes no sense, if ONLY based on what you included here. Behavior that non-sensical, is going to be based on something outside affecting the behavior.

No guy who likes a girl, and is making attempts to get her attention and be near her, would reject her follow. He would be over the moon. There is no way he would reject it. There is something else responsible for this (admittedly very confusing) situation.

[Yzra17]

But he was staring at me for 7 months. Its so weird. He’d act cool when I was around him

[Shiprex]

Maybe his social media page isn't all that to shout about and you'd be able to see what things he's interested in and he thinks you won't like that and be put off. You could speak to him irl instead of confusing things through the internet

[HollyK21]

Here’s the thing: you’re in your head a lot about this, coming to conclusions without having had any sort of conversation with him. I don’t want to take him having a crush completely off the table — of course that coild be a thing. But without hearing from him, for all you know he’s just as confused as you are, catching you steal glances or hold gazes and not sure what it could mean. Then it doesn’t help that his friends tease and egg him on, as young guys typically do. It’s quite possible that this has blown up into something that it was never intended to be in the first place, which is why he isn’t trying to pursue you romantically and your interactions were only limited to school.

[spartan55]

So you see the guy every day in person and you get all twisted up over a stupid Instagram follow? 🙄 Just makes no sense.

[bowenw]

He may have been worried his friends would tease him if they saw that you followed him.