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We were supposed to spend time together yesterday with our daughter as a family (working on fixing the relationship as we were broken up) and he was telling me all the cute things he’d plan out, food etc. Then he messages me pretty much not mentioning our plans and tells me he’s hanging out with his friends.
I was super upset because this wasn’t the first time that he’s done this to me. I can literally think of several times when we made plans to do things together, but then his friend would call or come over and our plans went to hell.
I told him how upset I was and how I forgave all the other times and he just doesn’t take accountability or apologize or say he’ll make other plans. It’s like in his eyes he didn’t do anything wrong. Does he just not care about me? You’d think he’d care about his child though.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
So you’re upset that he cancelled when he’s done this numerous times already. Then you wonder how come he keeps doing this. Let’s see, maybe because you keep taking him back. Sounds more like you want to be w him then he wants to be w you. He knows you’re still wrapped up on his dick that you’ll keep coming back. Move on. He’s not a good person to be in a relationship w. I don’t know how he is as a father, but relationship wise it’s time to move on.
He hasn’t actually done a thing to help with her other than holding her but somehow I thought he’d actually follow through with plans that involved his own kid.
Was this child planned? If not then chances are he didn’t want a kid.
Not planned but then he doesn’t have to act or say he’s concerned. If he doesn’t want to be involved that’s fine
You sure that’s fine? You wouldn’t take him to court for child support?
No. Things have happened and I’ve blocked him but he’s still reaching me through other methods. I don’t want anything from him. I was the one supporting him for a long time
You’re probably better off on your own than w him then. Hopefully things workout for you. Life can get rough.
Thank you. I just hope he leaves me alone.
When he contacts you what exactly is he saying?
He called and said how I’m a bad mom, how our kid will be autistic, how I’m autistic (my sister is autistic). How his friend told him he should leave me. How he’s going to be miserable with me, how his kid is miserable with me. Then he messaged me on instagram asking if he’s blocked.
So why haven’t you blocked him
On all avenues of approach?
He had deleted his instagram so I didn’t expect that but now I have. He called my parents too.
Sounds like a stalker. How old is your baby?
Two months old
What about yourself? What do you do? Work? Go to school?
I finished school and have a job to go back to after maternity leave is over.
He actually called my parents saying he quit his job that he just started weeks ago because he wanted to hit his boss…
Love is blind in my case.
lol he’s got issues. I think you need to just cut ties w him completely? It’s good thing you’re not married to him. Or are you?
Yeah he has a lot he should work on but he’ll never get therapy because he thinks he’s right. The last place the boss told him to take his tantrum home. He’s had like 6 jobs in the last year and he quits or gets let go. Thankfully not married. Yeah if he somehow contacts me I’ll just tell him we can go to court. I’ll start the process. I’m actually just so over his stuff.
Well I’m sorry to hear that. What made you get w him to begin w? Doesn’t sound like too much of a winner
We met at work and he was funny and cute. He said he wanted to better himself so I thought okay here’s a guy with good intentions. At the start of the relationship when his friend would call he would tell him he’s busy but as time went on he’d say he’s not doing anything. Once we had dinner plans and his friend came over and brought drinks. His friend knew we had dinner plans and he didn’t excuse himself he was just hanging out with him. If I went to someone’s house and I knew they had plans I’d say okay see you another day. I ended up leaving and getting takeout for myself. It still hurts to think about this.
I see. So now what’s the plan as far as your life? Work? What do you want to be one day?
Right now I’m on a contract and the thing is they’ve been laying off people so now I’m a bit worried and thinking about what to do. I have some savings to get me by worst case scenario. I still have maternity pay until next spring. I was actually looking into maybe going for CPA.
Ok. Did I ask you if the baby was panned? Sorry I forgot if I had asked you.
So what’s your living posturing? Living on your own?
Not planned but not a surprise either. Long story. He knew where I stood on abortion. I’m living on my own, looking to buy a house in the future so I’m trying to save every penny I can. Maybe a career change would be good too if it paid more. That’s why I’m considering CPA.
I see. So do you have some support system as far as family? Do you live in the states?
My mom has been helping me a lot. I’m in Canada
Ok. May I ask what time it is there? It’s about 9:30 here in the states.
Do you have hobbies? What do you like to do for fun? Ever been to the states?
It’s 12:30 here. I like reading, working out (just at home), nature walks, and I like trying out new recipes. I like preserving flowers with resin to make earrings, bookmarks etc. Over here it depends on the season. During the summer there’s hiking, picking blueberries and strawberries, carnival comes by too, and different festivals. During winter skating and skiing. I’ve been to Florida and New York. I’d love to visit Seattle one day maybe go through British Columbia. Are you from the states? What are some of your hobbies?
Interesting. I like a lot of things to do w nature. I actually do grow flowers when it isn’t so hot that the sun kills them. But that is a good idea, to preserve the flowers in resin then sell them. I like that. I have quite a bit of hobbies, growing my own vegetables for one as well as flowers. I like to draw, art, creating things but not as much as I’d like to. I also like traveling, I like guns, i have a few of them. But traveling is one of my biggest things. Will be heading to the east coast come September if things all go well. I listen to a lot of audio books. I’ve been to a lot of the states, Oregon is one of my favorite states on the coast.
What kind of flowers and veggies do you grow? The only thing I’m growing are beans right now just in pots. The dream is to one day grow potatoes, onions, carrots, lettuce. Travelling is always a great way to explore and learn new things. There are so many beautiful places to explore. What did you like most about Oregon? Any books you’d recommend?
Let’s see. Well I grow zinnias, tulips, marigolds, sunflowers. Those are my favorites. I will add a few others that I like as well. Right now I had some bell peppers growing, squash n tomatoes. But it’s been really hot so the plants are taking a beating. On the side of the house I under the big tree I have corn with green beans growing around them and squash and pumpkins growing between the rows.
As for Oregon, I like the coast because of the the ocean for one. Two it rains a lot there so there’s a lot of greenery. A lot of places to stop along the coast just to look at the rocks and the plants, the water, pick berries. Nice and cool if you go during the right time.
As for books. Most of the books I listen to are financial. Actually about 99% of what I like to listen to is financial.
Your garden sounds beautiful! It’s a lot of work, but worth it. What do you do with the pumpkins when they’re ready?
Oregon sounds lovely. I think you’ve made me add it on my list of places I’d like to visit. I like nature so can’t go wrong. What type of berries are there?
Is there an author or a title you’d recommend reading? I’d actually be interested.
Sometimes if the pumpkins are successful I’ll give it to family. There’s sugar pumpkins too, those are for cooking. Then the Jack-o-Lanterns for Halloween. Yes gardening is a lot of work.
As for what kind of berries are in Oregon. There’s blackberries, raspberries, a lot of other types as well. They’re good.
Let’s see. One of the very first books I listened to was called Rich Dad Poor Dad by Richard Kiyosaki.
Where I am there are a lot of wild blueberries and strawberry farms.
I’ll have to start reading that book. I had a friend in grade school and she would actually mention this book often.
Yes it’s a good book. I think you’ll like it especially if you’re into changing your financial situation.
So what is your daily life like? What’s your favorite things to do? Favorite type of food?
Daily life right now revolves around baby. When she sleeps I try to do things like cook, crafts, clean, read, exercise a bit. It’s blueberry season so I’ll try to see if I can go pick a basket. I know a lot of people would rather just buy them, but I actually enjoy going into nature and when I bake something from them it feels rewarding.
I bought a Thai monstera plant today, so I’m going to do some research on it and see what it needs for best growth. I have some other plants like violets, tradescantia nanouk and a ficus that I was thinking of propagating and selling.
Favourite type of food, I’d go with stir fry because I make those the most. Usually go with chicken and just add in veggies and have it with glass noodles or a bit of rice. Cheese cappelletti as well. Pizza too when it’s well made as a treat. Dessert will forever be cheesecake.
What are some of your favourite foods? You mentioned you like to draw, what kind of things do you draw? Do you ever paint?
I love a variety of foods. I’ve been into Thai lately, like it spicy, maybe on a level 4, which isn’t bad. Sometimes a little spicer. Been trying to eat more vegetables. But yes I too absolutely love pizza. I like an all white pizza. But I’ll just pretty much any pizza as long as it taste good. Desserts, I like dark chocolate. I love ice cream especially butter pecan.
I think that’s the best thing to do. Go out in nature, pick some berries and make a pie w them. They’re fresh from nature, no chemicals on them.
I do like drawing whatever. I have no specific thing in particular that I draw. But not as much as I’d like to. I have been messing w AI a lot to create pictures. Yes I have painted sometimes on canvas.
So be done with him romantically. You have given him so many chances, with this being the biggest one. For him to blow it, if I were you I’d just be done putting myself and my child through the disappointment. It’s not just you and your feelings for him to consider anymore but how his actions will impact your daughter growing up. You can put up with it all you want and keep fighting for his love, but she doesn’t deserve to be let down by her dad like that.
Actions speak louder than words.