Husband texts/calls female coworker outside of work hours, conversation includes our personal family info, now lunch, I'm not happy, am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

Husband exchanged texts/ calls with female coworker outside of work.

She mostly asks for BS work help, with a heavy dose of flattery towards him. He agrees he shouldn't have allowed her to think he was available to her whenever, claims he didn't know how to get out of it.

She works in a different he offered to go over there and take her out to lunch, off site.

He's no real reason to be around her in my opinion. He never takes me, or the family to lunch, making it more sus. Thought's?

[jazzy34]

He’s definitely into her. I’m sorry. If you haven’t already, I think it’s time you sit him down and have a talk about this. Let him know this…. dynamic makes you uncomfortable and that he may need to put up boundaries with her. If I’m brutally honest, however, a grown man is going to do what he wants to do. Not saying that’s right, but that’s just the truth. Again, I’m so sorry that this is going on. Hopefully she moves and/or gets another job really soon. Something that will break this up.

[Anonymous]

So I’m going to ask this. First yes he should talk to you if there are problems w in the relationship. But have you actually opened that door to where he feels comfortable to speak to you? A lot of times it’s hard for women to just listen. He may say things you don’t like that may be the truth. A lot of men don’t speak to their wives or girlfriends because instead of listening a lot of them go off on a tangent. The man knows when he’s done wrong. He doesn’t need her saying I told you so. I knew it. Just listen. I’m not trying to make an excuse, but a lot of men do talk to other women cause they will actually listen w out going off on him. Yes there should be a cut off time as far as her messaging in regards to work. Maybe he just didn’t have the heart to say no. Most men don’t like hurting women’s feelings. I get it you’re probably thinking well he’s hurting my feelings, I should come first. I get it.

[TrueConfection]

I recommend you invite yourself. Your husband shouldn’t mind if you come. Maybe the coworker will decide it’s awkward when reality is in front of her.

[Asker]

I found out about the invite by chance, he didn't tell me, inviting myself will definitely be awkward but a good idea.

[Anonymous]

why did they need to go to lunch? keep work at work. no need to "discuss it over lunch". it's pretty sus, you're correct.

[Anonymous]

There might be details you are leaving our or manipulating to gain sympathy or he is overstepping. Can't tell.

You either trust him or you don't
Once you break trust there is no going back so be sure what you imagine is factual first.

[Asker]

I thought I trusted him, but him spending time and money on someone is out of character, so now I'm not so sure.

[Opinion Owner]

Have you calmly asked him why he needs to take this woman to lunch?

[Asker]

Yes, he said it's just something you say! Her office is about 20 miles away so quite the effort on his part.

[Opinion Owner]

I know nobody who would drive forty miles round trip for a simple innocent lunch. That is odd. Unless it was just saying it as empty conversation. I don't know his communication style so I am not wanting to push you either way. It might really be nothing.

[WellBye]

I have some bad news for you sis

[ItsAshh2009]

I don’t think you’re wrong at all

[DonaldDarko]

You are not wrong.