Thoughts on saying I was the one who needed space?

[Anonymous]

Dated a guy for about 5ish months - everything was relatively good but communication issues are what caused me to put an end to it. There was no malice behind it or between us, just wanted someone who was willing to work on things together and he wasn’t willing to at the time.

Fast forward 6 months later, I’ve been thinking about him a lot and decided on a whim to reach out just checking in and saying hi - he was very receptive and it was immediately the feeling of picking up right where we left off. I brought up the fact that my taking him off all my social medias wasn’t malicious, just something I felt necessary at the time. He appreciated me explaining and also said that he felt like I needed space….. this did not sit well with me and still doesn’t.

This feels condescending or like he felt bad for me… am I reading this wrong or was he genuinely just trying to respect a boundary?

[BriamG22]

Hey... Honestly, sometimes men just say things without thinking, I've been guilty of that many times and got whooped for it, metaphorically of course 🤣.

I'm pretty sure there was no ill will behind what he said. He might have genuinely thought or felt like you needed space too, but most men, unless they're like a narcissist or a sociopath are not thinking that with the notion of it being a power play. Men are emotionally iliterate, I saw a guy just now asking "What does she mean when she says: Do you mean all the compliments that you say to me" haha.

So, in my view, even if he did think you needed space, it was not from a place of competition, he probably thought you wanted nothing to do with him and that's why he was purged haha. I would surmise he probably felt like shit after the great social media cleansing.

As was mentioned, men are quite inept at reading feelings unless its screaming in our faces and even then we might get it wrong. In this case he totally fumbled the reason as to why he was removed haha. If its bugging you maybe you should just tell him, you mentioned communication was a big reason as to why things ended the first time. Perhaps communicating this grievance and telling him that it felt condescending might weirdly be a good starting point for a second try.

I don't know though, I might just be talking out of my butt, I'm not a psychologist hahaha. I do hope things go strong for you two!!!

[HollyK21]

I don’t think his comment carried any negative connotations but if it did then what else would you expect? You are the one who ended things and that’s how they stayed for half a year. Then you come back trying to carry on normally as if you didn’t do what you did and bothered if he has any resentment towards you as of that wouldn’t be warranted. He doesn’t owe you conversation, doesn’t owe you friendship, kindness, this guy owes you nothing and you’re lucky to even be getting the chat that you’ve gotten in my opinion. Because if I were him I wouldn’t let you spin the block twice because you didn’t feel the right connection the first time. I don't know why you think it’d be different this time anyway.

[Stefan04]

I don’t know, trust your instincts. Although if he was really interested he would be willing to put in the work for you.