Why would a guy act like he doesn't see/care about you when your near him but constantly search for or watch you from afar?

[Anonymous]

For context we work together, he knows I like him, I've told him this before, but now he acts different when he's directly around me, like I feel as if he's almost ignoring or avoiding me intentionally up until the moment I'm talking to someone else or I'm preoccupied with work or he thinks that I can't ‘see' Him. that's when I catching him looking at me or stealing glances, he even peeks to see if I'm still in my car in the parking lot while walking out to his own vehicle. All this effort yet he won't go out of his way to talk to me? Or even say if he feels the same way I do? Like I know he's shy with me but seriously how can someone be ‘this' shy? Especially when he's super outgoing with everyone else at work so why do I have to get this awkward version of him every time we're around each other?

[BriamG22]

Heya,

Hmmm, its a bit difficult to draw a conclusion as to his intent just with this, but I would think there are two possibilities if we were to exclude motives that may be malicious.

Based on your account, I would say he probably likes you too, consistent and frequent glancing is usually a telltale sign. So, the first possibility; I would think, is he's just shy. He might have already liked you from long before but had the assumption in his mind that being with you was an impossiblility. He was probably able to be himself by treating you as a friend. Now that he is aware of your feelings which affirms his own feelings as being requited, he probably just has a concoction of emotions, anxiety, fear of inadequacy or incompetency swirling in his head. These are of course assumptions I'm making purely on the basis of him being shy and his reclusion after your confession, but it could be why he now finds you difficult to approach. Hence why he is ignoring and avoiding you... This would more likely be the reasoning if he hasn't dated before or had any meanigful relationships. Do you know his relationship history?

Easy thing to do, pull him aside face to face, ask him what the heck is he doing and if he keeps doing this you'll move on. Basically flooding him, not a recommended method of rehabilition anymore but he'll get over it haha.

The second possibility could be he's playing games. I don't think it is out of malice, it could be that he just wants to be chased. Like you said, he is shy, it could definitely translate into a submissive personality in a relationship. He could be playing up his timidity and bashfulness so that you'd be the one to make the moves and gambits. Why do I think its possible he's doing this? Because if he were just taking glances at you that's a given because he likes you. But the fact he peeks at you in your car where you can clearly see him, it could be seen as a bit of a game where he does so to exhibit or express his infatuation overtly showing you he's still head over heels. There is also the factor of his innate anxiety possibly resulting in the fear that he might screw up if it were him that's doing the courting.

Same solution though, ask him what the hell is he doing and if he keeps doing this crap you'll move on.

Butttt I'm just a dude on a website, ultimately I'm psychoanalyzing the guy from baseline information and I'm pretty sure I wrote something akin to the start of a fanfiction haha.

But I hope you were able to find a few things that might be useful in all the rambling. I hope things work out!!!

[ManOnFire]

It sounds like he's being very kid-like. Shy or not, a guy around your age (I'm assuming he is) should not be that sheepish. I personally think he's not worth wasting your time or interest on. If somebody is serious about you, they are going to be serious and not all funny acting like this guy.

Pass that up.

[spartan55]

You are assuming things are a certain way. Just talk to him ffs. Is it that hard?

[Nikki1989]

We are not mindreaders.

Who knows.

[Anonymous]

He is naturally reserved, and your presence makes him much more shy. Maybe he is terribly inexperienced with women.

[KishasDarling]

Is there a chance he's concerned about being unprofessional or getting in trouble at work?

[strateguy632]

Because he is shy but attracted.