A guy saying "oh, fuck me" after he assumed he was rejected?

[Anonymous]

I have this guy who seems super interested in me. The only issue is that his friends seem to know. And they're goading him on.

He came up to my group of girls and asked if we needed help (for some work). I was too shy to respond, so my group mates ended up saying no. He turned bright red and laughed in an angry (?) way. And said "Oh, fuck me then.." and walked off.

I feel REALLY bad and don't know how to fix it. Honestly I'd rather he contact me privately, than to try and talk to me in front of everyone. Felt like his response was slightly immature, and definitely doesn't come off in a positive way to everyone else who saw.

Should I let him make the move or should I contact him myself?

[InknKink]

How a guy deals with rejection and failure says a lot about who he is... do you really want to get involved with someone like the guy you mentioned? It's not a good indication of character.

If you're interested in him despite his outburst, then perhaps you can simply make yourself available to him in a more secure scenario; separating yourself from your group when appropriate to give him a better shot.

[Asker]

That's true! I guess I felt partially responsible, because he has been trying to approach me. But we're in an environment that's hard to approach. So I end up having to turn him down every time. In a way, I understand why he's frustrated because I am too.

But I also agree that his outburst wasn't great. I met another guy who seems much more emotionally stable?

Actually for the past few weeks, his friends made fun of him in front of me for fucking up badly. He got so nervous that practically everyone can tell he probably likes me. So I wonder if there's way too much pressure on him right now

[InknKink]

Yes, but how we deal with pressure is important.

When we get frustrated we tend to let show a more authentic version of ourselves. A version with less filters. If he expressed anger as a default emotion to rejection, whats to say that's not how he handles other stressful situations?

If you did get involved with him, would he act out in anger and frustration if things get rough in a relationship or there is a disagreement? When he's more comfortable expressing himself around you? Will he be short tempered, vindictive, crass, or hurtful when emotions are high?

Honestly, it's a bit of a red flag.

In more ways then one now that I'm taking the time to think through it. Not only in how he is handling the stress. He's also demonstrating low self value also in how his friends see and treat him. A little bit of teasing is normal among guys, but only to a certain extent. If his friends treat him like shit, that also says something about him.

[Asker]

I appreciate this well written lesson! Actually it makes sense. I also get frustrated when under pressure, but I try not to show it. Especially in front of so many people.

His friends don't really treat him like shit. But they did make fun of him for being nervous. All of them seem to be perceptive people. Again, it still says something about the respect.

[spartan55]

Handling pressure? These are teenagers we are talking about dude.

[InknKink]

@spartan55 25-29... I know guys that are married with kids and a mortgage at that age.

[spartan55]

Dude she is lying about her age. Stop being so naive.

[InknKink]

@spartan55 I'm not seeing it.

[spartan55]

Then don't see it.

[InknKink]

@spartan55 If this were Sparta, you'd have been punted off the cliff at birth.

[Asker]

@inknkink LOL. Thank you for having humor. I've gotten some answers from spartan before, he's not exactly helpful but I see him around often.

[spartan55]

I don't understand was he specifically asking you?

[Asker]

It's small room. When he circles me about 30+ times and stare at me. Bad enough that people are bound to notice and joking about it. Or treating me strangely

[spartan55]

That didn't answer my question