Why would a guy act nonchalant after getting rejected?

[Anonymous]

[OneViewpoint]

What do you want from a guy you reject?

• Do you want him to fly into a rage and scream at you?
• Maybe you want him to act like a child and insult you?
• Or perhaps you'd like to see him cry like a baby?

Would any of that help boost your low self esteem? Would you get off on the drama?

Nah, chances are the guy is trying to be an adult and behave as society expects him to behave. And that is to accept your rejection politely and simply move on with grace and composure.

LOL, it's not like we have a lot invested in you. We tried. You said no. We move on. It's really not a big deal. There are plenty more women out there. We don't need any explanations. It doesn't matter. You are entitled to make those choices.

I've been rejected hundreds of times. I also get approached by women all the time. I don't take the rejections personally. I have no idea what you have going on in your life. Or maybe I'm just "not your type". Next...

Then I look over my shoulder and you're angry because... what? I wasn't crushed by your rejection? WTF do you women want?

At that point I'm happy I got rejected, LOL!

[Asker]

I don't have low self esteem You're acting immature right now with your response. You're assuming I want him to get angry. That's insane. He asked me out twice and I rejected him both times. I think he got embarrassed. I just hope he's okay.

[OneViewpoint]

He's fine. Men can take rejection from a stranger. It happens all the time. It's not some soul crushing event.

[Asker]

Im not a stranger. We went to the same highschool

[Summeroflove]

He just needs to move on

[Summeroflove]

Either he’s trying to play it off like it didn’t affect him or he genuinely doesn’t care. Look, rejection stings because you genuinely like and want someone. Does it mean they hate you as a human being? No. But for some reason or another they don’t see you that way.

It’s best even if it hurts to move on. If someone rejects you they either A) are genuinely rejecting you. Or B) playing games not worth it if you want something real.

If someone genuinely likes you back they won’t reject you

[Asker]

He asked me out twice

[Summeroflove]

Just move on. Don’t waste your time or his if you’re not really that into him

[Asker]

What are you talking about. I'm not even friends with him. I was just wondering why would he ask me out twice

[Summeroflove]

Asking twice. See if you really meant no. Some people are persistent. Be nice ahout ir you asked why he acted nonchalant.

So maybe he thought you’re playing hard to get. Maybe he thought you got nervous. Maybe he thinks if he keeps asking you will say yes.

Be firm. Be respectful unless he isn’t with you

[Asker]

Why would I change me mind if I said no the first time?

[Summeroflove]

Beats me. Some people are just desperate

[Asker]

I'm not though. Are you?

[Summeroflove]

No I’m not saying you are. I mean he is if he keeps asking.

[beenherebefore]

Well, how would you expect him to react? If you rejected someone and stated that you're not interested in them then the right thing to do is to believe what you said and move on, only a simp would still stick around.

[blackeagle007]

Agreed. Are we supposed to stick around and wait till she expresses interest or convince her to change her mind? Ha!

[Asker]

He asked me out twice

[beenherebefore]

@blackeagle007 absolutely not! if someone says she’s not interested believe them and move on. don’t simp around because that won’t take you anywhere.

[beenherebefore]

if you rejected him twice he go the message, you’re not interested and is time to move on.

[Asker]

So he didn't get the message the first time? 💀

[beenherebefore]

Maybe not.

[Asker]

What a dummy.

[blackeagle007]

Yes. Lots of other opportunities out there. Refuse to put my life on freeze for one person.

[On_cloud_wine]

He shoot his shot. What, do you want him to cry about it. God, you women..

[Asker]

He asked me out twice.

[On_cloud_wine]

Yeah so? Girls can be very indecisive. He knows that. He gave up and moved on. I’m proud of him

[On_cloud_wine]

I guess the balls in your court now. I don’t see him trying again until you make a move

[Asker]

I'm not the indecisive one. I said no twice.

[On_cloud_wine]

So why are you asking this retarded question?

[On_cloud_wine]

You must be slightly autistic

[Asker]

Are you a guy?

[On_cloud_wine]

No but I’m a very well matured woman who doesn’t take bullshit.

[Asker]

You're a man trolling as an underaged girl. You're a pervert!

[On_cloud_wine]

At least I gave you some great advice and saved you time time thinking about your situation considering your brain hasn’t fully developed

[Asker]

Why are you pretending to be an underaged girl, you freaken creep!

[blackeagle007]

lol! Now now let’s play nice!

[Fireguy17]

It happens; rejection is just part of life.
I'm thinking you mean rejected by a female.
She wasn't interested in him so you just move on to someone who is/or might be interested in you. Why waste your time in someone who does not want to be with you? The next one might be even better.
Kind of like waiting for a bus.
You miss this one there will be another one coming around the corner soon.
So, what was he supposed to do, just fall apart, start crying, hyperventilate?
There are about 4.03 adult women on the planet, so get over yourself, there are plenty more out there to choose from.

[Asker]

You get over yourself. I was just asking a question. He asked me out twice. Why didn't he get the picture the first time?

[DishLady]

You’re right, @Fireguy17, but in the case you’re talking about the guy says “hey” and keeps moving if he sees the gal.

Meanwhile the asker (apparently) just doesn’t know how to use “nonchalant” bc she’s talking about a fellow who is still pursuing her.

[DishLady]

@asker, there’s NO WAY anyone can read your mind. You’ve left NO DETAILS and are now trolling every good guy on here with critiques.

Why/how would anyone know that your idiot guy doesn’t know you’ve rejected him? You were probably unclear or you’re playing games with him so he still thinks he has a chance with you. Smh.

[Fireguy17]

it can depend on how you worded your reply.
were you frank and down to the point by saying I do not or will never have any interest in ever going on a date with you or was it more of along the lines of the "standard" I'm busy that night/ now and it just isn't a good time.
People think that they are being clear and concise with their answer because you know what you mean, yet they just assume that everyone else knows what they are saying.
So, I'm thinking he hasn't asked a third time since he simply moved on so there doesn't seem to be an issue, or you would have probably/maybe mentioned that as well.

[Asker]

The first time I said no. The second time I said that I'm not looking to date anyone at the moment.

[Fireguy17]

so then it must have worked, he didn't ask you again did he?

[Asker]

Nope by why would he ask me the second time when I rejected him?

[Fireguy17]

He gave you 1 last chance to become a multi-millionaire, and you said no so off he goes.

[Asker]

He's broke 💀

[ProbablyClueless]

As with everything else in human behavior, there could be a few answers.

• It could be an attempt to preserve his ego by acting like you're beneath his notice.
• He might just genuinely not care.
• He might be doing it to preserve his sense of peace.
• He might be trying to make you jealous

I got into a nice and stupid situation awhile back with a lady who friend zoned me after doing a bunch of things that were absolutely not friendly. I can accept that she gave me the answer "no," but I absolutely don't believe it.

I totally cut off personal contact with her after that and basically ignored her in group settings. I never got brisk or unpleasant with her, I just detached.

I did it to preserve my sense of peace and make sure that I don't waste my time.

I don't accept her friendship for a number of reasons. It was just easiest for me to detach than to participate in the situation any longer.

[Asker]

Why didn't u accept her friendship?

[ProbablyClueless]

It was a lot of things that just built up my frustration with her...

There was the way she would treat me, which flip-flopped between a coworker she barely knows and husband/boyfriend status. There was a bunch of lying/unclear communication about stuff that didn't and doesn't need to be unclear. A bunch of baggage from her ex. There was a bunch of big life change stuff that wouldn't be appropriate for me to share.

The biggest thing for me is that she didn't treat me like her friend. Followed closely by the unclear communication. If she actually treated me like a friend, I would have reacted differently because she would have been calling our relationship consistent with how she was treating me. But if she refuses to treat me like a friend, I have to assume that I'm not a friend. What else am I supposed to infer?

So when she said she only sees me as a friend, I can't be boyfriend/husband status. So I must be the coworker she barely acts like she knows. I don't know what else to think, so I cut contact.

[DishLady]

To address the question as you asked it (since you leave zero detail about your particular situation), guys and gals who are reasonable simply pull up their bootstraps and move on. They don’t linger like morons to see if things will change. They set boundaries.


Some guys and gals generate drama so they DO linger, play games that make the other person feel there might be a chance, etc.


None of us knows what you did or said to the guy to elicit his current responses or behavior. Most likely if He’s still speaking with you and asking you out it’s bc you weren’t clear that he has NO CHANCE with you. Guys don’t just hover like that.

[Purpleronnie]

Would it be more satisfying if he were to cry? Why would the woman / girl care if she rejected him? Or maybe he shouldn’t take no for an answer and stalk her? Or worse…. ?


Who’s to say it was an act … because he should be bothered because he has never faced rejection before? … nope that can’t be it.


I know 🤔 … it’s because guys generally can handle rejection a whole lot better than our opposite gender so I’d offer it wasn’t an act just that he was prepared for it and moved on like any mentally healthy guy would !

[D_Bone_Steak]

The reason I would, is because I probably expected it anyways.

I mean if I'm not really invested and I'm just seeing if I can get some sloppy clam action, my feelings are not going to be hurt. In fact I'm probably going to appreciate not being dragged along in a game of..."Maybe... I'm not sure though..." I'd leave it alone and be glad I can put my efforts into getting some other sloppy clam somewhere else.

[Asker]

I'm saving myself for marriage.

[D_Bone_Steak]

See, I would totally respect that and move on. Now if you said "I'd love to but I have a boyfriend" and I figure out you don't have a boyfriend at all, I'd be like "WTF?" A lot of us dudes get some total horse shit for rejection instead of blunt and plain rejection... and that's what usually leads to most of the bad reactions to the rejection.

I'm specifically tapping my finger on the "Being led on with no real intent" box. You wouldn't believe how many women have no intention of getting together, but they'll keep it going just because they like the attention. THAT, can be extremely frustrating. You know the types of women that say don't waste my time, but then waste your time.

[Purpleronnie]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 sloppy clam action … outstanding 👏👏

[Anonymous]

What should he do? Cry like a little b****? What purpose would that serve?

Decent men DO NOT ask out women that have not first expressed interest or desire to be asked out. So when a good man gets rejected he's knows it happened because one of two things. 1. He misread a sign. 2. he didn't misread a sign, it was deliberate baiting on her part. Since guys learn from thier mistakes. The older and more adept with women he gets, the less likely it's number 2. So, common sense. If he got duped. He's not going to give her any satisfaction on top of that.

[BCRanger10]

Should he not? Maybe he's just resilient about it and still trying to show confidence. Or maybe it's just his personality, or maybe even trying to show you "hey, this is what you're missing out on."

[Asker]

He asked me out twice and I rejected him both times

[Fireguy17]

and the second time you actually gave him a reason, which you should have done the first time.
So lesson learned!
Now you know what to do so he moves on and can find someone who is interested in him.
Communication is so simple if people would only learn how.

[Asker]

@Fireguy17 the first time I gave him a reason. And he still asked me out the second time,💀

[Fireguy17]

In a different post you said that you just said no the first time and were more explicit the second time which must have worked because you didn't mention a 3rd time.

[Asker]

@Fireguy17 No means no u dumbass. You give creep vibes. I bet u keep trying if the girl says no. Wtf 🤮

[Fireguy17]

And I now understand why he decided to move on to someone better.
Your true colors finally came out.

[Asker]

@Fireguy17 lol you're retarded

[Ironco]

Well, when you get rejected, why give the woman the time of day? She rejected you. Don't let her humiliate you anymore, just move on.

Now some women try and play games and like to watch you jump through hoops, but I don't play that.

Acting nonchalant is the only thing we can do.

Don't know if that helped you or not?

[dragoblack]

It's called emotional maturity & intelligence. It's also called acceptance. Why waste time on a person that doesn't even want to meet your energy & effort, let alone care. More guys should be like that and just accept the rejection, then walk off.

[Asker]

He asked me out twice and I rejected him twice. So I guess he didn't accept it the first time.

[dragoblack]

He's double checking. There's many women out there that want guy's to keep trying, to see if they are serious about them.

[Asker]

That's retarded

[dragoblack]

Yeah, dating nowadays is all about playing a stupid game of mental & emotional manipulation, instead of honesty and just getting to know each other while having fun.

[Asker]

Him thinking that I'll change my mind is retarded.

[dragoblack]

It's less a matter of you, and more of his experiences with other women in the dating economy

[Asker]

Wow so he thinks every woman is the same? What an idiot.

[dragoblack]

Wow... you really are not understanding from a guy's perspective in dating =_=... guys know women are not all the same, but guys will try the tactics that work for the majority. Everything is trial & error, just like how women change their tactics based on those they encounter.

[mysteriousNicholas]

I'm clearly a high value male all the times to women (and certainly avoiding the men / them avoiding me, shivers 😬🤭) were like, why doesn't he talk to me, ask me out, etc

Easy - I'm just here to go about my business ☺️🤗

[exitseven]

A guy would never admit he was crushed. I practiced my poker face that way

[AMS700CX4u2]

It is a rejection, his emotion is bruised. He either licks his wounds or acts as though there are no wounds. The latter is what society teaches us is the proper male response.

[Seangreen]

Because he accepted it and he's fine with the fact that if you're not into him then you can't force it so he's going to go find someone who does want to be with him so he's a good man and he's doing the right thing

[Nikki1989]

He accepted the situation and moved on, unlike so many men who whine like babies.

[Asker]

This was he's second time getting rejected

[WhitneySnow]

Either he doesn’t care that much or he’s hiding his feelings

[Asker]

Why would be ask me out twice?

[WhitneySnow]

He either really likes you enough to ask you out despite being rejected twice or he doesn’t like you that much and doesn’t mind if you reject him. Or he’s supremely confident and figures one rejection from one girl doesn’t matter that much.

[Asker]

It was two rejections. I rejected him twice.
He said he think I'm super beautiful and he like me.

[WhitneySnow]

Guess he’s really into you

[genericname85]

probably cause his life didn't revolve around you. so the rejection didn't matter much to him.

[Asker]

So what's the point of asking me out?

[genericname85]

obviously cause he wanted to take you out to get to know you better. like what did you expect? him to be crying and depressed when you rejected him?

[Asker]

Why would he ask me out twice? I rejected him two times

[genericname85]

cause sometimes girls just say no as a shock reaction cause they didn't know how to handle the situation. so they say no even tho they would have liked to. so nothing wrong with trying twice. as long as he doesn't become creepy or intrusive with his further attempts, i think he's just being persistent, which is normal for anyone if they like someone else. cause them liking someone else doesn't just go away for no reason.

[Asker]

No means no! I wasn't interested in him then and I'm not interested in him now.

[genericname85]

don't give me that bullshit. you know exactly what i said. "no means no". bullshit. you know it, he knows it, everyone knows it.

www.youtube.com/watch

[genericname85]

if you want him to stop approaching you, go and tell him with a serious face. if then he doesn't stop, then you can think about it being a problem. not before that.

[Asker]

I said no the first time. Why couldn't he listen? That's so creepy of him.

[blackeagle007]

I’m not sure what answers you’re looking for? Were you hoping he sticks around for backup? Guys don’t do that anymore. We move, I’m not gonna stick around and “be friends” sorry

[Asker]

He asked me out twice

[blackeagle007]

And you said No. so… what is it you wanna know?

[236color]

What's he supposed to do? Wailed and cry and Nash his teeth? What go would that do?

[SoccerPlayer99]

If he values himself then he shouldn't. There are millions of women to pick from. He shouldn't feel sad just because you weren't interested. It's a learning and growing experience for us.

[AviatorTom]

What do you want him to do? You rejected him, so he's gonna move on to someone else.

[RavVid]

You shoot your shot and it doesn't hit the bull's eye every time.

[MJVillarama]

He’s probably just protecting his ego or playing it cool, doesn’t mean he’s not affected.

[loveyouoak]

It makes sense for a man to act noncahalant if he's been rejected.

[Asker]

Why?

[AngryCarl2]

How did you expect him to act? Angry? Distraught? Guys get rejected every day, so we're nonchalant.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

They moved on because why would they waste their time?

[Anonymous]

Maybe that is his natural personality, and he is attempting to move on.

[Sal_Monella]

It isn't nonchalant. It is clarity. No means no. Next case!

[captain_voidwalker]

Because rejection might be rare for women but for men rejection is our life.

[jamesling]

He didn't do anything wrong. He needs to avoid you and take time to process his emotions.

[Asker]

I didn't say he did anything wrong. Why would he need to avoid me?

[BeenThereLovedIt]

How's he supposed to act?

[DishLady]

She’s possibly looking for some drama.

[queenofcardio]

He probably didn't care.

[Asker]

He asked me out twice

[queenofcardio]

You said no both times?

[Miristheiss]

Because it isn't a big deal.

[slatyb]

Because he's an adult?

[UniquelyBasic]

Because he's just a chill guy 🥸

[Tranquility_Lady]

To avoid conflict

[oswaldcobblepot]

How should he react to being rejected?

[nawtee_me]

Oh well, your loss not mine…. Confidence

[Asker]

He asked me out twice. I rejected him twice. Do u think he got embarrassed?

[nawtee_me]

Embarrassed, no… Disappointed maybe if he was really into you.

[Asker]

Tbh I think he got embarrassed

[WhyohWhy69]

So you don’t catch on you crushed them.

[LiamJHayden]

That seems like a good thing.

[dudeinohio]

He accepts the reality

[grega239]

You want them to be upset?

Why?

[Anonymous]

That kind of guys don't think much.

[ChicoFromThe305]

How should he react

[Gruttepier21]

Damage control

[Asker]

He's damaged? 😔

[fivebyfour]

Pride,,,

[Amara2006]

I guess pride.

[Anonymous]

Ego.