What makes a man lead a whole double lifestyle for YEARS?

[Anonymous]

Men, genuine question — what makes a man live a double life for YEARS? 💀 About 5 years ago, I met this guy through some people while doing charitable work. We bonded over some circumstances we were both going through and became really close. Eventually he admitted he was VERY attracted to me, but because of our big age gap, he made me believe an actual relationship between us was impossible. So I respected it. Five years later and I still don’t know what tf to call it. Situationship? Friends with feelings? Emotional affair I didn’t even know I was participating in? Lmfao. I asked him before if he’d ever been in a serious relationship or planned to get married. He said yes, but barely talked about women because apparently, “I don’t like talking about other girls when I’m with you.” 💀💀
Despite the distance and different time zones, we talked constantly, still managed to see each other and exchanged birthday gifts every year. Whenever I visited, he showed me his apartment, workplace, friends and people around him. Basically his REAL life. Then recently he disappeared for weeks and my FBI mode activated. 🤦🏻‍♀️💀
Turns out this man WASN’T SINGLE.
He had actually been ENGAGED to a woman FOUR YEARS before he even met me. 💀 I found her profile and checked the timeline — The craziest part is almost everything he showed me was REAL. His face, job, apartment, workplace, people around him, everything. Except his NAME was different and somehow his entire FIANCÉE just didn’t exist in the version of his life he showed me.💀🥴 her account barely has any pictures of them together. The pictures I found go back around 9 years and she still has those old pictures up. So men… WHY? If you already have a whole fiancée, why spend YEARS building this kind of emotional relationship with another woman? Why talk to her 24/7, see her, send gifts, let her into your real life, show your real face, job, apartment and friends… Like seriously, WHAT was the end goal? 😭

Updates

1 mo

I tried to make it short since GAG only allowed 2000 words 💀💀💀

[midnightmoon05]

Because some women like you like to play these games with them... and they can find their target very easily... if you don't want to play... don't join him.

why? it started from a young age.. he has to be a good boy to his mom... but he lost his father.. he hides his saddness or confused.. so it forms a dual personality type... he can't be ture to his mom (the closest woman)... later... he can't be true to other women...

I didn't read all that your wrote but most liars... started out like that... sad childhood.

very few... are out for fun temporitly... they can get away and move on...

so again.. its up to you if you want to play the game... well... look into your own inner insecurity... why do you attach to these kind of people?

[Anonymous]

Tried to make it short? You write a novel on here about nothing every day.

[RavVid]

I don't think we have any better understanding other than he wanted to be having sex with two girls instead of just one.

I'm quite lazy and what's he doing is a lot of work.

[RavVid]

Thanks for a mho

[ChicoFromThe305]

can't say I have the answer to your question at the end there but that's some crazy manipulation right there

[Asker]

Absolutely

[rtj1211]

Some families have very prescriptive parents who pretty much demand that a son marries a 'suitable woman'. So if the family pressure is intense but you don't love that girl, what do you do? Many agree to get married but look for a way to stay sane via a secret life.

In rich circles, after all, marriage is seen more as a business transaction than a statement of lifelong love. In the French upper classes, it is expected that partners will be unfaithful, the same in the English aristocratic families. A marriage is seen as a route to securing the bloodline, whereas sex is merely an enjoyable interlude during one's own life.

There are many other possible reasons, but this one should always be flagged up as it is one of the more common reasons.

[zagor]

I don't know but it's nothing new. My co-worker told me a while back about her grandfather who, after he died, they discovered he had a whole other family somewhere. Neither was aware of the other; I guess he used to travel a lot for work so they just assumed that is where he was.

[onmyradar]

the excitement of having that thrill, the "spy game" effect. you get to have two of everything, variety, and not getting caught, and being able to be two different people.

[Kassandra1994]

The religous lunatics especially the stupid church pastors live double lifestyle.

[RFC1872]

I don't know about other men but I know about this one. That sounds like waaaaay too much work just to get some squirrel.

[Anonymous]

I can't i dentify with this at all. I have no idea why a guy would do that.

[Anonymous]

Probably to con you out of something later or just feed his ego

[spartan55]

To have another girlfriend. There is your goal.

[Anonymous]

Guys get off on having two women at once

[Eleni920]

Spilt personality.

[jahaims]

Mental illness

[RedInnocent69]

Hormones

[Anonymous]

The love of the game