Why do girls think I'm creepy & weird?

[Anonymous]

I'm an 18 year old guy and really frustrated. Girls seems to think I'm creepy & weird. I can go up to pretty much anyone and talk & be comfortable like I've known them for a while, maybe that's what's weird. Like go up to a girl I don't know and say "Hey what's up?" with a smile and then chat. I try to always be nice and respectful. Not a pushover, but kind and considering of their feelings. I'm not one to go up and randomly flirt with girls at school, THAT would be creepy IMO.

But often times, I find out a girl finds me creepy, usually after talking to them. Like yesterday, I was hanging around and talking with a group of girls. Just chatting, and I thought having a good time. Well, we were talking about Twitter, and I was like "hey, what's your Twitter name, I'll add you?" She gave me her twitter name and I did add her. Anyway, later I saw on my Twitter feed her and her friends were talking about me. She was talking about how she was trying to block me and they were joking that "I hope he doesn't show up at our house lol". I find that kind of hurtful. I'm not even sure what I did wrong, aside from hanging around them and chatting.

Not all girls think I'm creepy. A few like me and think I'm nice & funny, but I'm just not interested, I'm not attracted to them. I don't think my standards are too high. I mean, it's 11:30 and I've already talked to 4 girls I'd like to date. They're all relatively attractive, not necessarily model type, but they're "cute".

I'm just curious over why girls think I'm creepy and weird? Maybe it's my personality. I tend to come across as timid to people I don't know well, only because I'm kinda shy. I open up once I get to know people though, However, I make an effort to be outgoing, so maybe outgoing + shy comes across as creepy? Idk, I'm just guessing here.

[Anonymous]

Your question is confusing, are you comfortable with people you've just met or are you shy?

You started off saying you are comfortable, and then you finish off saying you are shy. Shy dudes, that try too hard to seem comfortable, always seem creepy.

And dude's don't tend to walk up to a group of girls on their own, unless you are mister confident sex god, girls are going to think you're a creep or seriously lacking social ability.

People do far better in groups, group of guys v group of girls, or one on one. Never try to infiltrate a group of girls, because even if a girl does like you, she won't be sure how you come across to her friends and before a girl gets to know you and like you, she's not going to act as though she wants to be seen to be attracted to you because that's just embarrassing, and in a group, girls will always ask, what did you think of that guy? All it takes is one girl to say, 'he's weird' for your chances to be blown out the window.

Even if the other girls think you're kinda nice, you will be forgotten instantly for something better.

[Asker]

I guess I'm kinda the shy guy. I try to be comfortable and many times am, but still feel a little shy. It's sort of like a tug of war internally. I might feel shy the first couple minutes, then I start to open up and feel comfortable.

[Opinion Owner]

First impressions some times count, if walk up to a group of girls uncomfortable, they will be polite because they can see your discomfort, you will misinterpret that, believing you have successfully infiltrated the group, but you haven't they have just been polite and you still haven't moved off. This is where the sense of creep comes in.

[Asker]

I was always under the impression that "creeps" approach girls who are alone, which is why I've been approaching girls in groups. I guess it's the opposite? Now I'm confused xD

[Opinion Owner]

yeah, old men approaching young girls alone is creepy, a boy the same age as a girl, going over for a chat is not creepy.

[Darknut]

How do you mean shy guys try, to hard

[Ruby_gloom24]

you probley come off alittle overwhelming asking for twitter accounts/Facebook links/numbers on the first time meeting these chicks. I would be kinda werided out, if there was no real reason for chatting me up. (assignment, lesson- college)

some girls are just weirded out by a guy who comes up and just chat them up. We (ladies) are taught that if a guy comes up to chat he likes them or is interest in them. sounds like those chicks are alittle shallow and bitchy. not everyone likes everyone they meet. But adding you and then talking about you right on the feed line is lame, rude and a bitchy move.

but ya other chicks will like this forwardness + the shyness in your approach, but I would pick and chose wisely which "groups of girls" you chat up.

bitches be everywhere man.

[Asker]

Haha yeah, I was thinking about that afterward. From the way they were talking, they seemed like the really shallow type. They were insulting each other even while I was talking to them.

True b*tches are everywhere, but it's kinda hard to tell who is/is not a b*tch without talking to them for a bit. You could look at someone or talk to someone for a couple minutes and think "she's a b*tch", but chances are you'll be wrong a lot. She could just be having a bad day. Guess it's a fine art ;)

[Asker]

Oh yeah, and I kinda was interested in a couple of the girls. But by the end, I was somewhat turned off by their shallow behavior. Most of the time when I approach a girl I might think "hmm, she's kinda cute" and want to get to know them better. If she isn't interested, I wouldn't be opposed to just being a friend, assuming she has a decent personality. But if she's kinda shallow/b*tchy, I just stop talking to her, that's a huge negative turnoff for me.

[kheserthorpe]

Well, to some extent, I'd listen to what the first anon girl said, but to the extent that's true, you should just not care. Basically what they said to some extent is 'simply approaching a group of girls and chatting, they may act polite but not be at all interested'. In which case, well just accept your success rate is going to be lower then it seems at the time, and that's okay. As you say, SOME girls are not creeped out, so maybe that's just how it is.

But its worth at least considering if there's something that would make you more successful. I think that often what girls (probably all of us) find off-putting is if they sense a discrepancy between how you act and how you really are. They sense you're hiding something, and that makes them apprehensive - no doubt a good instinct for humans for most of our evolution. Maybe you're just hiding feeling shy, which perhaps you can work on genuinely feeling. I also wonder if you flirt too _little_, if it seems like you're suppressing that? I suspect the more openly genuine you can be, the less creepy you'll seem.

[Asker]

Well, I think I try to overcompensate the shyness and nervousness with... It's sort of hard to explain since you don't know me. But like I try to act outgoing and friendly which I think comes across in an overly (fake) friendly way. Not that I'm not friendly to friends and open up as I get to know them, but I think that comes across in the wrong way. Just guessing here.

It's a work in progress. At least I can approach, many guys can't do that, I just have to work on how I come off.

[kheserthorpe]

Yes, definitely. Keep at it, and be self-aware in a good way.

[Darknut]

@Ruby_gloom24 I think I'll pursue this.. you seem harmless. I sent you follow request.☺

[Daanrodezand]

Its because you ugly bro,

You need to swallow the blackpill