Why is my boyfriend so jealous, paraniod and doesn't trust me???

[funkmybubble]

wev been togetha almost 2 years and he's so paraniod I get askt tha same quiestions every day, do I love him do I truel love him would I eva cheat ect. I have neva eva cheated nore have I eva done anything that I knew he wouldn't aprove of, I'm no longer close to my male friends because he was so jelous it juz sempt easyer, if I go to a mates for a cuppa I get askt who was there what did we talk about, its driving me nuts, I trust him fully and have no probs with him doing anything he wants but when it comes to me I have to stay home and do nothing or have a fight to go out (just verble) why is he like this and can he stop? he sez its because he's afriad of loosing me but I'm not so convinct? could he be doing tha dirty? or something like that and taking it out on me? HELP!

[Lavawar]

He lacks confidence, not in you, but himself. Unfortunately you are a victim of it.

Sit him down and tell him this. Also, you should be aware of transference. It's when a partner accuses another partner of cheating, not loving, doing something you are not, and in actuality, they are the ones thinking and/or doing it. This is dangerous. You have to tell him this too. Make him aware of both of these. Tell him also, that you are with him and could easily be with someone else without him know about it. But, tell him you are not that type of person. And that if he continues to think like this, then he is not respecting you and your character. It is insulting to be honest and if he doesn't stop soon, you are going to have to pack up and leave.

As a side note: You can also have some fun too by doing the same thing to him. Make his life hell. Ask him to see his email, phone calls, show up after his work and stalk. Do what he does. Also, start accusing him in public of cheating. Put him on the spot. Then tell him how he feels that you don't trust him anymore. Yeah, it's really degrading to have a partner treat you like crap. Hope this helps.

[funkmybubble]

I have thought of treating him the way he treats me but as fun as it wuld be I don't think iut will solve our problem, I have 2 children from a previous relationship and its hard to keep all of what goes on hidden from them. I tell him all the time I would never cheat and how frustrating it is to have him not trust me. I'm going to sit down with him 2nite and talk to him about all this and see what happens. fingers crost.

[Lavawar]

Goodluck

[chrisF1979]

In general guys are jealous when they are unsecure of themselves. When he is jealous try taking it as a sign that he`s afraid of loosing you. I used to be very jealous myself, but I got over it. Try to tell him that there is no reason to be jealous. And he shouldn`t give you a hard time about it. Cause if he pressures you he will achieve the opposite of what he wants. Tell him that you love him but he can`t controll your life! Especially if you never gave him a reason to disstrust you! It worked on me. I`m not american so what`s "doing the dirty" - cheating?

[funkmybubble]

Yes doing tha dirty is cheating, I'm not american either but that's what I call it. He admits he's unsecure and afraid of losing me. I tell him all the time that I love him and that I would never cheat! and spoke to him about how its unfair that I get treated like I've done something wrong when I haven't and wont. I even wrote a list of the qustions I get asked so many times a day with all my answers and put them on the bedroom wall so he didn't have to ask.

[tinkie-69]

okay chick. I hate to burst the bubble hear. but you seriously need to talk to him about it, explain that if he carries on it'll eventually drive you away. I know exactly how you feel iv just been through it. I was with the guy two years and he did exactly the same thing, in my case he did drive me away, but if you talk to him about it then things will get better.

good luck

x x

[Brenden4202]

What if your girlfriend said she slept with 30 guys at the age of 17. Said I'm probabaly a bigger slut than you and I never thought about cheating so I know if I haven't you haven't. Then acts weird about a work party and doesn't answer your calls when you try n meet up with her. Would I be the irrational one for showing up to catch something? She said she used to send slutty nudes to guys on snapchat. Then sends me a screenshot of a guy asking her for nudes and her rejecting him but then still has him added on the best friends list after I said to delete him. Would I be wrong to be a little uneasy?

[chrisF1979]

The List is a very good idea =) I used to make lists for myself, on a different subject than jealousy though. Keep telling him when he starts again and be patient he will understand eventually. But don`t back down on this and give in to silly demands he makes! If he starts sth. like this remind him that he`s doing it again! You don`t have to do it in a mean way. Try acting disapointed that hurts more.If you stay though on this he will hopefully change his way. I guess he doesn`t even like it himself to act this way. Good Luck