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Can people really find someone to be wildly and passionately in love with for the rest of their lives? Or do most people settle and merely tolerate their partner for the sake of not being alone?
Stories are welcome!
Nah.
My relationship with my boyfriend is pretty romantic and "storybook like" but not quite like that stuff.
We met when I was 14 on vacation and I looked up and there he was. All 5'6", pudgy, pale, bald him. And I thought he was just the greatest thing on the face of the planet for reasons no one else can quite understand.
Anyway, we weren't allowed to see each other due to our ages being so young and all (but we snuck around :p), and then, for my senior homecoming, I got the nerve to actually ask his mother if I could take him since we hadn't been allowed to talk to each other. And she told me I could. And he agreed to go. We started officially dating at that dance.
He goes out of his way to make me happy and he treats me like a princess every day of our relationship.
"Well I guess it's safe to assume you're at work until early in the morning. Babe, I want you to know that I love you. Rather cliched at this point, and I wish there were some stronger phrase to describe how I feel about you, but alas, the English language contains only so many words, and my love for you ins infinite. Though speech is imperfect, love is transcendent. If, through the imperfect vessel of human language I manage to convey even the slightest hint of the enormity of the love in my heart for you, then I will have accomplished a great feat. You're my all. I love you."
That was a text he sent me the other day and yes, I saved it - don't judge me :p
He does stuff like that fairly often. He says romantic stuff in person, not just text or over phone. He's just a genuine romantic guy and I love it :) He always runs up to me and scoops me in his arms and spins me around when he sees me...he's just a sweetheart :)
My relationship isn't like those images, but it's pretty close...at least I think so.
Oh, just so you know, he grew. He's now 6'5, in very good shape, and he grew his hair out so now it's curly blond :)
Aww, that's a really heartwarming story! How long have you been together?
2 years. So not super long, but not super short either.
Such a nice guy you got, god bless you both.
Thank you
My family always jokes that my current relationship is a "storybook romance." We were friends for a few years and always flirty, but never anything more. He asked me out once, but I didn't take him seriously and brushed it off. Turns out, he was quite serious and held out for me for almost two years...dating other girls but comparing them to me. I was too busy desperately trying to turn a casual, sexual relationship with another guy into something more...making a fool of myself. I tried dating other guys after that, but they didn't work out either and I was always left wondering why.
For whatever reason, I decided to give it a shot with my guy friend and we're still together. Looking back on it, I realized that there were so many times that I was with other guys and I was texting him. When I told my mom about it, she said, "oh...him!" because I always talked about him without realizing it.
It sounds corny, but we're perfect together. We're so similar in so many way, but different where we need to be to improve each other. Our families fit like they're old friends and joke when they catch us looking adoringly at each other.
I don't know where we'll be in the future, but I do know that we're going to work a hell of a lot to make it work for the rest of our lives.
Awesome! Thanks for sharing.
you can find someone special but I think it is hard and unlikely and many people end up settling. a lot of it has to do with how realistic your expectations are and how much you are willing to make it work. no relationship is sacrifice but I have seen people in love with each other and it's real. my friend loves his girlfriend and I can say that is true love between them.
some of my friends' parents seem to really be in love.
in real life it's just not as dramatic or exciting as the movies but it does happen.
all I need is to find someone I have the emotional and physical connection with who wants to make it work as much as I do and I think a lot of it is finding that special connection, but life flies before our eyes and before we know it we are approaching an older age and worry about settling down.
as a girl it's really scary, I'm approaching 22 and single and life goes so fast, I can see how people settle down. I can't say that if I'm in my late 20s I would't just settle out of fear of being alone.
That is so true. Real love takes work, and often movies and romance novels skip over this part and make it look like all you need is passion to make a long, satisfying relationship work. In reality, you're going to have all kinds of ups and downs, and insecurities, but the thing that makes it love is being committed to each other even after all of that.
Also, don't be too worried. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like it, but you've got plenty of time to find someone to settle down with. I felt the same way at your age, and felt hopeless that if it hadn't happened by now, it might never happen. But you never know what life will throw your way. So just enjoy life in the meantime, so you'll be ready when your love comes along. Don't settle though - if you're stuck in an unsatisfying relationship, you may miss the one who's really meant for you.
I lean more torwards just settling and finding a women that you care about and are compatible and attracted to but not madly in love with them I belive personally that its just feel good chemicals and endorphins and such. I've only felt like I was madly in love with a women back in HS when I was 17 a love at first sight cliche/which is untrue and doesn't exist but I don't know her feelings 100% but I know she at least had a huge crush on me it was obvious but these feelings didn't last and I literally feel almost nothing for her if she passed me on the street it would be more like a ghost I wouldent feel anything but the recognition of knowing her.So yeah I think classic love stories with like destiney and all the BS don't exist and the whole ''If its meant to be itill happen thing''. IS 100% BS it promotes laziness if both parties belive that saying and wait around for it to happen by some magical event like in a modern day disney movie or something itill never happen you have to make it happen and take intiative. So no I don't belive in that wild passionately in love for the rest of their lives kind of thing.But that's just my Opinion because that's what I've learned from experience not critizing anyones beliefs or anything belive what you want that's cool with me and all just IMO it dident last and I felt so strong for this woman I would have died a slow painful death to save her now its just like she's a stranger to me really. My view point is kind of like Tom/Joseph Levitt-Gordon's point of view torwards the end of 500 Days Of Summer I used to really belive in all that stuff and fate and all that but not really anymore the more I think about it the more I think its kind of fairytalish and unrealistic 500 Days Of Summer is a good movie btw.
I don't know. It's cool to think that passionate love can't exist for a lifetime, but if you truly believed in romance, I don't think you should let that one bad experience close you off to love. Many teenage relationships don't work out in the long run, but it doesn't mean love isn't real. What if you meet someone perfect, but you're too bitter from your first love to give a beautiful relationship a chance?
Im actually not bitter at all lol I'm thankful my eyes have been opened it made me so much stronger.
That is just how people are we can't help how we feel we can wake up tomorrow and our feelings can completely change don't develope feelings for people and don't trust anyone always be on your guard.
I think that it does. I actual don't think that it has increased or decreased in prevalence either. What many people don't see is that behind the scenes the two people are constantly working on their relationship. There are good days and bad days in every relationship. When two people are honest and realistic to the qualities and character of themselves and their partners only then can they form loving life long relationships.
Personally if these thing are becoming less frequent it is because we aren't being honest and realistic as to who we are and the type of people we deserve in our life. We jneed to stop trying to be like these couples in the link and to just love and be good to the one you are with no matter how you choose to show it
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16Opinion
There's a story on WATTPAD called LAST DANCE and from there I can say that there is somehow a new breed of Happily ever after story in our generation. It's not how medieval men prove their love on high horses or when fairy godmother will always make you the prettiest among the rest,actually those are metaphors of something deep.To have a storybook romance on today's generation people has to find and start long friendships with someone before falling in love. Patience is key to have a happily ever after. Those we see on movies where scripted from real life yet those almost 2 hrs marathon of watching them is a yearful of experiences and longing. No one need to jump from relationship that fast because once you fall in love so fast...there's no guarantee it'll last. Love is slow music. And when you dance to it's slow rhythm then you'll find you enjoyed every bit of it and wants to do it all over again and will always feel like seeing the person you're with for the first time :)
exchange views,know him/her deeply. Happily ever after does not only built from love...there's a lot of percentage on friendship and trust there ;)
And when you finally found someone you can trust,love without feeling there's something wrong then you have the love of the lifetime my dear :)
I grapple with that issue myself, as I have settled for guys way below my league (character/honesty/kindness-wise) and stayed in miserable relationships for months, thinking that was the best I could do, or that it would get better over time if I was more "understanding."
I don't believe in storybook romance, where one person chases you with a stalker-like obsession, and then he is your complete everything and fulfills every part of you (*cough* Twilight). Those stories are entertaining, but they are not real (Thank God). I think lots of people read those stories because the partners don't merely tolerate/hate each other, they stay in love. I think that's very rare, sadly, because our society is too corrupt to teach most boys and girls what a loving, caring romantic relationship should be (respect).
Now I'm trying to hold out for someone who will love and respect me like a friend with the romance aspect.
Hmm. You raise some interesting points. I know people in my personal life - and I'm sure many others do too - who have been with their significant other for years and years, and they're still just as in love as the day they met. But maybe that is becoming rarer, and I agree that society is putting less value on commitment and monogamy in the name of instant gratification.
But I do worry that believing love is dead might lead people to settle in relationships that aren't fulfilling.
I might feel in love with someone, but his behavior (disrespect) usually indicates a lack of love. I think romance is dying because "evolutionary psychology" ("men are all biologically programmed to spread their seed and want to cheat"), a mostly scientifically unsupported study, is used by too many guys to cheat, make their girlfriends feel like crap about not measuring up, getting addicted to p*rn, etc. Then we still have the double standard that a woman who is not a virgin is a "slut."
Most of mylife I settled Because I didn't believe this didn't exsist. Biting finally found her. She is truly amazing. Passionate precious adorable sweet loving real the list goes on and on. Our compatibilty is amazing we get each other. We laugh cry and support each other in EVERY aspect! I love her with my entire soul and she does to me. Never have I felt this connection. Each day gets better and better. We cannot stand being apart from each other. This is truly a romance novel in the flesh. This does exsist !
I'm the happiest I had ever been. She occupys my mind and into my dreams.
True mutual feelings mmmmm
Wow, that's beautiful! I'm glad you were able to find that with someone.
Storybooks tend to go over the top with romance, but I definitely believe it's possible to be passionately in love with someone for your whole life. It may not be as flashy as the fairytales go and there will be struggles, but the struggles can make your love grow stronger if handled right.
I'm nowhere near the end of my life yet so it's too soon to say whether I've really found a romance that will last me a lifetime for sure, but I honestly believe that I have. My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years and each day brings us closer. We love spending time with each other, we make each other laugh, and we connect well on a physical level. Thinking about how great we are together makes me so happy it's almost like getting high lol
That's awesome that your passion still burns bright after two years. I love these kinds of stories. Thanks for your insight.
I truly, and genuinely want to believe that something real is possible to find. That when the looks and everything goes, you still see the same person you fell in love with from day one. I had neighbours (they have both passed on) who were together for more than 60 years, and she took care of him even in his sickness until he passed. So, if you ask me does real love exist, I would say so since I've witnessed it with my own eyes. As for myself, I definitely do not want to be in a relationship where we merely co-exist as roommates. Being with someone for the fear of being alone, is not only unfair to yourself, but also to the other person. I think we've become so jaded and cynical to believe that it doesn't exist because of all the marriages we hear failing, or because in our personal lives, we've seen the relationships of people we love come to an inevitable love. In the end, we all want someone we really love (and who will love us back) even if people don't admit it.
It never did, I'm not trying to sound pessimistic but that romance story crap is kinda forced down women's throats from a very early age & women grow expecting men to be like the guys in disney movies when us men did not go through the same exact childhood as women.
I think its safe to say that most women dreamed about getting married and settling down, Go up to 10 random guys and ask them for their dreams, Most men don't have the same exact ideals. Men and Women have different morals and different views on life.
I'm not saying men are incapable of falling love, cute romance stories still happen, even romantic ones happen all the time, but that "I will wait years for you" crap isn't happening anymore in our day and age.
You know, I don't think I agree with you on that second paragraph. I don't think men and women dream about drastically different things. I think that if you ask almost anyone, man or woman, what their life goals are, their top three will be a fulfilling career, an amazing love, and a family. Sure, there are those girls who plan out their dream wedding by age 5 and go to school to get their MRS degree, but I don't think that's most women. Maybe I'm sheltered, though.
But I think everyone wants someone who adores them and is devoted to them for life, regardless of gender. I see it happening sometimes, but maybe you're right that it's not happening as much as it did in times past.
Thanks for the link….. I just asked the same damn question two minutes ago. Funny…. at least I know I'm not alone. I guess you answered my cosmic question. Thanks for the load off my chest. The next question is how to recognize this in others and to stir a new Movement...Do we like minded romantic fools need a bracelet to know we are together? I think so.
Haha. I guess the "bracelet" is meeting someone who's just as willing to work for it as we are.
I think that if you don't love someone, you should not marry them. I know a couple who have been married a long time. They met in collage, and the day they met, they knew that someday that person would be the one they married. A few years later, they were married, and happily have 2 kids, with one on the way. They are in their 40's now. So! In short, I think it does exist. People just look to hard for it, and end up missing it.
Good point. The whole "love will come when you least expect it" thing. I can see how things wouldn't work out if you try to force them.
Absolutely yes! But it's all according to how you view relationship in reality. And for you get to where you need to go will take a lot of work. And you have to be compatable as partners in order for that to happen. You have to be serious about each other. And passionate love will only happen in marriage. Because no one in reality is thinkning like that on that level. It's either you stay or you go. Many people are even scared to get married but they want sex. It makes no sense. At that point you have already ruined a chance of a passionate love life, and you'll just get a crapy one that's fake. I always say, be wise in dating and when it comes to sex be wiser.
Interesting. Why do you think passionate love can only happen in marriage? People in general seem to believe marriage is when the passion dies in a relationship.
Passionate love can happen any where. But in today's society, people don't hardly care about that anymore. Passionate love inside of marriage will never die, if the souple themselves are willing to keep that spark alive. Because the moment they get married, they think "I'm done." Done what? Fighting for your love? The game must continue otherwise you will open doors to more problems and your marriage. People give up too easily.
Story are what it is. There is that drama, Once a Upon a TIme that is an adult version and it is pretty popular. What I am saying is, we all like the godmother to wave her magic wand and a prince find us because that is what we grew up watching. Fairy tale. The original fairy tales weren't that dreamy. I think it depends but I know plenty of people who rather settle then to strive in fear of loneliness and failing. Just ask anyone who stop following their dream for a stable job... We all want that dream job or be boss only to realize your student loan/car payment/etc kills in and you HAVE to work to pay for your material things.
None of that storybook romance exists in real life. That's why they're stories and not nonfiction biographies.
There is no one special person out of 3 billion people of the opposite sex that is designed specifically for you. There's a good number people out there who will work out for you, but it all depends on how both people actually work at a relationship and not expecting a knight in shining armor to do everything for the person. That's why the divorce rate is so high. People expect that the marriage is a "happily ever after" but never realize that marriage is really only the tip of the iceberg and the true beginning of a relationship.
I have always wanted to find something like that, which is why I read and write so much. It seems the only place you can find that stuff is in stories. Also, the link made me cry a lot, so thanks for that ;p
You're welcome. :) I cried like a baby too.
Awww you're such a soft precious soul. You just keep your amazingly warm heart open and you will cross paths with that very very lucky guy that will adore you as you adore him. This does happen. And never doubt any path you're on it will always cross paths with something better that you cannot see at the time. But wish for it believe it is ahead and available to ONLY you and you will recieve your dream sweetheart. I can feel it coming true for you as well as the question asker. Beautiful souls!
I wish I could one-up a comment, but thanks for your kind words, standUP.
I think people need to open their eyes and stop living in a book. Love like that only exists in Hentai's anime and stories.
People need to realized those are all played out scripts. Forgive me if I sound rude. I am just sick of people basing love off of books and shows.
Just my opinion.
it was never common in any time. it's rare and special, that's why stories were written around the idea. but it still happens- why not? as for 'settling for and tolerating their partner', I think it's usually only that bad for closet homosexuals who forced themselves to marry the other sex. usually it's some midway between a perfect romance (like my grandparents, so cute!) and a loveless marriage ( :( )
No. It never did. You just assumed it did due to books and movies.
Think your grandparents had a "fairy tale romance" ? I work at a retirement home and they tell me things and let me tell you, most were very, VERY unfaithful.
Maybe so, but the fact that some people can't stay faithful does not preclude the idea that real, passionate love exists. Those sound like the people who settled in a relationship that wasn't fulfilling, and ultimately sought their needs elsewhere. For every person you've talked to in your retirement home, there's a story about people who fell in love and stayed deeply committed to each other through old age.
I feel like people settle :/ I think there is potential in storybook romances since there are almost always guys in the friend zone but we are too selfish to realize that.
Mine was almost there but then suddenly everything shattered just like it happens in real life...so no...
I'm very sorry to hear that. But you never know what might happen if you're brave enough to open your heart again someday. Best wishes to you.
Thanks...
not in the age of Facebook and selling sex in the media, it pulls people apart. And make women insecure. We don't see men oversexed in movies.
yes, you can but if your names sahara. she felt it, and now she can't walk. she said its due to the big 'D', I just think she should do it with her boyfriend coz, he is supposed to have turned her strickly d***ily, before she was bi:).
soooo.. basically she cheated, and you are all skets for searching this up..
bye...
:)
Yeah! Proofreading and grammar are your friends! Use them :)
I haven't found it quite yet, I overly Romance women, an they run away, thinking I'm too Good to be True lol.
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