Health & Fitness

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): The Worst Demon Of All!

On this Sunday morning, I have decided to set some time aside to share my view on the probably very worst personality disorder existing among many others.


(Majora's Mask - The horror kid regains it former self after the evil mask is destroyed).
The Borderline Personality Disorder (BP) is like the mask concealing the victim's true person !!!


To clarify the term "Borderline" a bit, it refers to the border between of a psychotic and neurotic condition, meaning that this particular personality disorder shows symptoms of both mental issues. Neurotic means that the individual feels forced to comit compulsive acts such as self-harm, often in form of an eating disorder.


Psychotic simply refers to the state of being mentally ill.


I highly suspect I made an experience with a very young woman, who I thought was totally okay, as the vast majority of people are, but after months of conversation, my suspicion that she might have a BPD grew and grew. There's a high probability that I am really right. I researched her identity online and discovered things that only confirmed my suspicion.


To the outside and to the common layman, BPDs seem perfectly normal, she seemed normal to me at first, because initially, you cannot tell anything.


BPDs lead their every day lifes quite normally, but deep inside there are "demons" tormenting them.


BPDs are in about 75% of all cases young women. The disorder develops in childhood most often or during puberty. Suicide is likely to happen


The woman I came across was neglected by her parents, sent from one boarding school to the other, beaten by her parents, verbally abused, and practically abandoned - a housemaid would take care of her. When you are a child, you are defenseless... It's all not her fault !


Symptoms of (her) BPD were:


1. Eating disorder (anorexia)


2. Self-hatred


3. A completely wrong /negative self-image


4. Exaggerated fear


5. Dependence (her parents think she can't manage anything on her own)


Furthermore, BDPs have an INSANE fear of being rejected but paradoxically, they CRAVE attention as they believe their life is worthless without others paying attention to them- including the fear of being imaginary alone - often BPDs establish a 2nd internet identity to not be alone !


And in addtition to that, BPDs have a HUGE fear of being abandoned - that's why they come back- the young woman in my case came back after 1 month of no contact.


Moreover, BPDs are VERY impulsive and have an inability to objectivley assess and discern dangers nor do they have conflict-solving skills ! They just can't !


This young woman once mentioned "she doesn't know who she is anymore" - typical of BPDs ! They have a constant feeling of emptiness and are hence bored often.


Judging by the severity of her eating disorder and her incredibly intense self-loathing- it is clear how she must have been suffering from being herself - she,like many BPDs, have the desire to be someone else - because they hate themselves to the core.


On one hand, she showed narcissitic traits (based on her internet identity)- on the other hand bad self-hate. BPDs depict themselves as the victim and the "prince" at the same time.


90% of them show symptoms of an anxiety disorder- the fear of rejection is MUCH worse than people with social anxiety disorder though ! At the same time they are extremely impulsive and can't think about the consequences of their impulsive behavior beforehand.


Relationships with BPDs are very unstable - first they idealize their partner, then they critizice them for everything - loving and hating their partner is like switchinging the light off and on.


BPDs have big trust issues - anyone who hates themselves think "Why should someone else have genuine and good intentions toward me ?"


A BPD can have various distinctions : narcissistic, psychosomatic, anxious, phobic (more than just anxious), depressive, neurotic, hysteroid (self-harm). All these can occur all together or just one of them. The severity of each can be professionally assesed.


Usually BPD's symptoms decreas during many years, 8 to 16 years normally, but with therapy BPDs can learn to love and to love themselves again and smile like that day back then. In depth psychology will eventually support them on their way to forgetting their past and to feel like reborn.


Of all the personality disorders I am familiar with, BPD is the very worst "demon" of them all.


It's so sad to be able to see the many good sides in a BPD on their good days and witnessing them sink into a deep swamp of self-loathing again.


It can heal. It can and it will. There is hope toward the end of a dark tunnel of years of self-hatred.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): The Worst Demon Of All!
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