The Flip Side of Weight Loss

Many years ago, I had a lot of weight to lose before I got to a healthy weight range. I became really focused on my goal which was my night and day aside from school. I no longer wanted to feel fat, be fat, struggle up stairs, or have to go to the plus size section and buy clothes that were just different versions of the same tent on me. I think, like a lot of people before weight loss with a lot of weight to lose, they think that when you get to the promised land, everything will be great. A lot of things do improve, but there are just some things that no one really talks about when you lose a lot of weight.

Obviously, everyone is different and so is your experience with weight loss and the aftermath, so these may not have happened to you or maybe just a few or maybe even all of them, but either way, sometimes what we think is going to happen, doesn't, or at least not the way we expect.

1. People get brutally honest

Just because I lost some weight, didn't mean I was suddenly this different person. Fat me, was still chubby me, was still healthy me. Those were all the same person, but when I lost the weight, friends, family, and even perfect strangers would talk about "my former" self, as if "she" had no feelings at all. It really made me question with a few people how good of a friend they really were. You know, real friends can be honest with you, but bad friends talk about you behind your back, and there was apparently a lot more of that then I was aware of when it came to my weight.

2. You're never good enough

Whether I was fat or healthy, I found out after the weight loss that it didn't matter. People talked about me when I was heavy and they talked about me when I was healthy. I cannot tell you how many people told me that now I was too skinny, or I might want to gain some weight back, or thought I must have been starving myself. It sucked. You do all this work and come to find out that the same people who were telling you five minutes ago that you need to lose weight, and then when you do, for them, it's either too much or not enough. You just have to shut those voices off and learn what you feel inside and run with that, because no one else can be satisfied with you, and how much is enough, but you.

3. You might not recognize the new you

When you are working out and saying no to fried foods, you literally dream about being able to fit into a regular size, and have your jeans zip up with room to spare, and having a jacket fit nicely on you, and then when it happens, it can be a very tough mental adjustment to see the you, you have become. I shrunk down from a size 2x plus or 20 jeans, down to a size medium or size 8 jeans and out of force of habit, when I would go into a store, I would head to the plus section and have to stop myself, or pick out bigger clothing because I just could not process the smaller sizing in my mind. When you are a certain size for so long, you know where you fit in and where you go and what you use to hide, but after weight loss, you've sometimes got to convince your brain to accept the new and recognize your real sizing now.

4. Fear and panic

You drop the weight and now you know how hard it was to get to this place and you don't want to go back, so gaining 5 lbs or more can be a nightmare. You can start to have irrational fears about suddenly ballooning back up again. And it's not just you. Your friends and family can trigger that in you when they see you doing something they perceive as being detrimental to your diet or workout routine. You can start this crazy cycle in your mind that can become an obsession if you don't get a grip on reality, that you aren't going to destroy an entire years worth of work if you have one cookie or you miss one workout in three weeks.

5. Brand new attention

This was another dream of mine, to become that girl who gets all the attention. It's the hot skinny girl that gets all the guys, right? Be careful what you wish for. I came back particularly after the summer, and all these guys I'd sat in class with, I'd gone to games with, that I'd gone to parties with realized that, oh, she exists. I thought this would feel 100x better than I felt before, but it really felt more like, these guys only want me because now I have this body. They didn't want or didn't care about the person I was before or was now. It made me shy away from that kind of attention, and I ended up actually dating a guy who was my friend before the weight loss for a few years because no matter my size, to him, I was the same girl, and I needed to know our relationship was going to be about that girl, and not what that girl weighs now or tomorrow.

6. Haters gonna hate

Nothing makes haters come out of the woodwork like you finding success at something. Someone losing weight can make others feel like the spotlight is on them now as your friend or family member to maybe do the same. They think you think you're better than them, that you aren't the same person now that you've lost weight, and that you're going to be this jerk to them. Yes, some people do that, but you should be able to recognize the person in front of you, and not assume they are these things just because they've lost a few pounds. I was devastated when two of what I thought were my good friends, started treating me like an enemy because I chose to eat a salad and not a pizza. I wasn't giving them any lectures on what they were doing or not doing, it was just what I had to do for me, but they couldn't accept that, and we ended up parting ways. Yet another time in life where you learn unfortunately who your real friends are.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Seems you have been through a lot but losing weight is hard so I congratulate you on that, and seems like you have gone through a lot of changes and realized how some people can be

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think people should focus so much on weight LOSS or the number on the scale. Instead, people should focus on the actual body composition and make sure that there is more muscle than fat. It's much better to be overweight, look lean because of the muscle mass, but have more muscle than you did before than it is to be "normal weight", look lean but flabby, and have less or the same amount of muscle as you did before. Also, people should focus more on short-term goals, like making sure that each meal consists of mostly whole fruits and vegetables, less refined sugar, less salt, and less saturated fat and cholesterol. I think that's much better/flexible than making a whole inflexible plan for the week. Then again, some people work better with fixed plans. Also, some level of vigorous physical activity is necessary. Doing jumping jacks and skipping are good high-intensity, aerobic exercises for weight loss. Humans in modern hunter-gatherer groups chase prey by endurance hunting. I don't know about you, but I think "chasing prey" sounds like a good idea for weight loss. You just have to make a friend the "prey", and you make yourself the "hunter" and just run as long as possible to fatigue the prey.

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What Guys Said 19

  • Congrats on your weightloss journey. I say that because it never ends does it? Sucks about your friends but maybe they weren't really friends. This was a really good take.

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    • Thank you, and I'm glad you said "it never ends does it," because that is the absolute truth. I didn't stop working out or having to eat right because I hit my goal weight. It's now a part of my life I must maintain if I never want to go back and that takes constant work and re-assessment if things aren't working as they should. Also as much as it did suck to lose friends, I'm glad those that are my friends are true friends now as opposed to those that leave when you change or grow or find success in your life at something.

    • You're welcome! Exactly and I think that's where a lot of people who stop when they reach their goal and go back to old habits and end up right where they started or even more.
      Thats true! We always meet new friends where ever we are at in life. One of the many positives in life.

    • Agreed!

  • this is pretty good, I liked point 5 the most.

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  • Insightful take. Number 5 is especially disappointing, but you'll get those people. In fact, if they didn't already know you beforehand, and they're only looking to date you now, then it should be at least a little rational they'd be repelled by your weight before. I'd guess at least half those newcomers weren't the shallow men you made them out to be, but I agree that you've still got the best case scenario with dating an old and true friend.

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    • Thank-you. With five, I was only referring to the guys that knew me or at least were around me before I lost the weight and their reactions after I came back from a long summer break weighing a lot less. It was hard, at least for me, to want someone who didn't want anything to do with me five minutes ago, but was now like, wow you're so gorgeous... now, and you have a nice body... now. It was disheartening because it was just about the body. New people---as you said, they had no clue about the weight loss, and that was attention, even I knew I was looking for going into this, clean slate, but for me, it turned out that, even that, was a lot of attention I wasn't ready for, and made me very uncomfortable at times. When you are used to being passed over and ignored, you don't expect it. It was a process to learn to accept the new me, it really was.

    • Totally agree with you. I just felt your judgement on all of them was a little bit harsh, but plenty of them probably deserved it.
      On the other hand, consider how sharply your value in the dating world went up due to your new look. They must've been pretty damn surprised.

  • Weight loss is hard, I congratulate u fir doing it. Just be yourself

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  • Very nice well written MyTake and as a person whose battled
    weight problems all my life i know the feeling. I was bullied in
    school and thought that loosing weight i would stop them from
    bullying me but that never stopped them even in my Senior
    year i battled bullies but not as many. Thanks for sharing with us
    and best wishes on weight loss I'm still trying to get through my
    battle but i intend not to give up.

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  • I think the problem is that both women and men may mistake weight loss for happiness, just as people mistake having a lot of money equals happiness. It simply isn't true. Happiness is internal... not dependent on external circumstances.

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    • This is very true. As someone once told me, losing weight is not going to pay your bills or make the storm outside go away, or do your school work for you. It may help with your health, but by itself, it's not a miracle that solves all your problems.

  • 1. I agree with this
    1. I shit talk my older fat self all the time
    2. its a good thing extra motivation to progress to what you want to be
    3. Never had the problem
    4. Well 10x 0 still = 0
    5. thats a good thing in the long run

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  • Intriguing

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  • Ask yr doctor if you need it. Not some magazine

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  • The real flip side is getting sick while losing weight though it doesn't happen to anyone, it did for me and I would get sick every other day, but now I'm fine.

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    • Did you ever find out why you were getting sick?

    • The body uses the fat stored as the "garbage", so if someones eat too many unhealthy foods for a long period of time and then try to burn all that fat, all that "garbage" will come out, so it all depends on how you got fat, people who get fat by eating too much healthy food they don't usually experience bad things like i did, but unfortunately i got fat by eating junk food haha.

    • I luckily never experienced work out nausea because I started off pretty slow, but I did have to detox from soda which was a horrible 2 week period and the reason years later I still don't drink the stuff. I quite literally went through withdrawal. My body was used to all that sugar and caffeine I was dumping into it, and suddenly without warning, stopping cold turkey, ugh. Stuff like this should teach you a very important lesson that you really are what you eat.

  • I went through this when I lost weight

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  • Some saboteurs will try to make slim girls gain weight.

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  • Interesting

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  • ''Brand new attention''
    People have certain standards when it comes to being interested in someone... women will do the same thing as men do.

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    • Everyone has standards including myself and I didn't want anyone after me just because I had a new body, which is what happened. If they had been attracted to me, and the person underneath, that would have been different, but they weren't, so I found in my friend, someone who was interested in both parts.

    • I get you. There was 2 girls from my school who i showed interest in and they gave me bad/offended looks when they picked up the vibe. Later years I had them trying to do the same to me... I reluctant to do anything just because of how they weren't nice to me (i mean yet alone gave me the time of day.. not that i deserve that necessarily).

  • Well written take

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  • Don't worry about what other peeps say, just do you.

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  • So you think because you look good that I'm supposed to give you a complement? Why should I seeing that all women hate me because I'm fat, ugly, and being born with a disability?

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  • I love cubbies lol

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  • i agree with this but still you do you

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What Girls Said 13

  • I've actually seen friends drift apart because of it too. The one who was always skinny was upset that she wasn't the skinny one anymore and stuff like that. Fake bitches lol. I even heard about people getting divorced because he didn't like the change. It's ridiculous, but it's good, shows you who's really there for you because they're happy to see you happy and happy to see you get something you always wanted.

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  • I've personally never been overweight, but I have heard that #1 happens a lot and I can imagine that must hurt quite a bit.

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    • It does, but it also teaches you to really cherish those good friends you do have and get rid of those that don't support you. It's a silver lining on a dark cloud, I suppose.

  • Congratulations on your weight loss!

    Have you been able to adjust being in a small size now or is that still currently difficult to apprehend?

    I hope your MyTake gives a lot of people insight into your situation :)

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  • I really appreciate this from you! This MyTake is like my favorite one lol
    I'm serious though. I'm still on my way to get to healthy weight. I see all these girls around me looking perfect (both body and face) and I hope that at least having a better body will help me with confidence.

    I just wish it would work for a face too LOL I'm the unlucky girl in this matter.

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    • Thank you. Such a nice thing to say. I really do wish you all the best with your own weight loss journey, and it IS a journey full of ups and down, but keep pushing and you'll get where you want to go and hopefully pick up on your confidence along the way. I wish mine came to me a lot faster than it did after I'd lost the weight, but it was a struggle to realize I was in this new body and people were reacting to me a lot differently than before.

  • I'm afraid of getting trapped like you said in point 4. I count my calories and weigh my food and it's great because it's helping me reach my goals, but I'm terrified of living like this forever. I know I'll always be on this diet and it's hard to think that I'll never be able to eat freely again.

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    • Believe me, I understand the struggle. I went for a long stretch where I was practically manic about calories in v. calories out, but for me, I had to really say to myself, I can't live like this. I can't go crazy and workout for 3 hours every time I have a cookie. You have to find a diet/exercise plan that is realistic for your life in the long term otherwise you will break under the pressure or it can lead to an eating disorder. For some that's finding alternatives, like healthier ways to make cookies so they can enjoy them with far less guilt, for others it's allowing 3 cookies a week, for others, they make cookies special, and in order to enjoy, they must go out some place, sit down, and order a cookie as a once in a blue moon treat. Find what works for you, where you don't feel deprived all the time.

  • Interesting Take, this is true

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  • that was an interesting take

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  • some lose their life

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  • I love this mytake! One of the most honest and motivational mytakes I've read. =)

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  • It is difficult to lose weight and gain weight is very simple and easy. Nowadays there are different ways to lose weight loose and surgery is one the famous treatment for weight loose. This is permanent treatment as I listened. So for those who have the over weight they can also be smart.

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  • im not fat or even chubby, but i feel like the negative side of losing wait[to attain a smaller waist] would be that my boobs and butt would be smaller.. so i wouldn't be very curvy...
    but luckily I've not dealt with any of the other issues on top of that

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  • Weight loss is still worth it even if there's a flip side.

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  • Hmm i never thought it that way

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