I Don't Know How I Feel About My Epilepsy...

[Anonymous]

Okay, my epilepsy has two forms, Tonic clonic and Myoclonic. Basically I have both stand up seizures and seizures that are more stereotypically thought about which is the seizing on the floor. I currently take 18 tablets a day, all for epilepsy and I can't help but wonder if without epilepsy my life would be better.

Without epilepsy I would have gotten into a different college which turned me down due to concerns of hazards in the course.

Without epilepsy I would never have had such a terrible childhood in first/second school but having had that I learnt how to be patient and gained my current temper capacity.

Without epilepsy I would have been able to go wherever I wanted without being followed, asked ridiculously large amount of questions and I would of been able to actually have a sleep over with someone.

Without epilepsy I would of been able to do the things I love, riding bikes, swimming and walking outside on my own but I can't do any of those any more due to individual reasons.

However, without epilepsy I would never have met my current friends, never necessarily had my current personality, never learnt how to treat others with disabilities/medical issues.

Without epilepsy, I would never have valued personal time as much as I currently do, while my friends just go out whenever they want, I consider getting to go up the garage on my own to be a privilege.

I do wish that I got to have a sleep over and maybe one day I will but I think that epilepsy sort of robbed me from the stuff that all my friends and most children got to do and that pisses me off a lot. I also fear that without my epilepsy I would be just, boring I guess and feel like maybe people wouldn't have noticed me as much?

I was diagnosed at the age of 4 so you can kind of understand that having 13 years of having your life being controlled by doctors, meds, parents, siblings, schools and the world in general can "MILDLY" affect your feelings emotionally.

What annoys me more is when my friends and teachers say "I know how you feel, I don't get to go out much either" that is borderline insulting as that is like just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my problems regarding epilepsy and there is no way they understand unless they are epileptic. :(

On top of that, I have the following:

ADHD

Autism

Colour Blindness

Epilepsy

With all of these in a metaphorical mixed cocktail, it only makes sense that life is gonna feel shite sometimes and at the moment the only ones who seem to be happy are the ones that are around me as I help them when they are upset, I make people laugh but it still feels like I'm the misshapen puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit in with the rest.

[sovetskii13]

I got epilepsy too. 18 pills per day? Damn. I take 6 and I thought that was a lot.
Began when I was 10. Tried numerous pills. Some made me collapse without notice. And I would not know about it. Some made me lose my mind a little but later know that something happened. Now I am on the meds that seem to work well. I hate epilepsy for pretty much the same reasons you listed. Except your condition sounds more extreme. I don't even believe in these pills yet my dad pays $50 per month or something like that. Sometimes I feel like it would be better to just not live at all than suffer through this. Maybe there will be a cure someday. Hopefully soon ☺

[myTake Owner]

Keep strong man :)
I use:
Clobozam: 1 PM
Epillim Chrono 3 AM 2PM
Lamotrogine 3 AM 3PM
Ethosuximide 3AM 3PM
Multivit tablet: 1 AM

[muneebwasikhan]

Keep it up bro Be strong,
My brother has epilepsy too and it's been more than 10 years he takes med daily two meds of 500mg (Epival), and living his normal life as he's always taking med on time
I suggest you to ask from doctor if you can use it in Pakistan you can get this in cheaper price too also it's like all in one med
It costs him like $6 for medicines which lasts whole month

[ENTP_EMO]

OMG, I had was check for autism after my epilepsy at 4 as well. I passed but showed strong symptoms of autism (0-very little talking at 3). ADHD I probably have it or not, I don't know. I never really studied in school or listen to what the teachers were saying.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't born with it but I got it after a health accident. I collapsed a few times in public, shaking like any epileptic with convulsions. It was scary.
I take old fashioned meds but they work.