My experience of depression and how I overcame it

[Anonymous]

Disclaimer: Before I start, I recognise that depression is unique to each person and it can be caused by a wide variety of factors. I am simply sharing my experience and how I overcame it, but it does not mean that that would work for someone else. There are so many factors that can lead someone to develop depression and there are many factors in a person's recovery.

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.

― Lao Tzu

It is only in hindsight that I can appreciate the relevancy of this quote. After studying mental illness for almost a year as part of my degree, it has really opened my eyes to the different perspectives of mental illness. It is what lead me to the above quote and I felt like it couldn't have been more true in my situation.

I appreciate that it is very simplified view of mental illness and it almost blames the person, but your view on life is a big factor in mental illness and I feel like that was what lead me to develop depression.

Being focused on the past and having a very negative view of life did not come out of the blue. It was triggered by a bad break up. A relationship that I probably put way too much hope on being successful. I had the hope that he was the one and he was the light in the darkness I'd experienced up until I met him. So when he cheated on me, that light and hope vanished. I was left in the dark again and become a very distressed and hateful person. It was around this time that I was bullied by people I thought were my friends which made the whole situation worse.

The immense distress lead me down a pattern of thinking, a continuous cycle telling me that all men were bad, my life had been a total misery, I'd been treated badly by everyone I'd met etc (there have been so many bad events that I don't think many people would believe me!). It wasn't long before all I could think about was my past and how crap it had been. It was no surprise that I fell into a very deep depression. Being in the present is linked to a higher life satisfaction, but I wasn't in the present. I was focused on the past and only the bad.

It was with the help of, surprisingly, my first ex boyfriend that helped me get back out of this pit of despair I'd dug for myself. It was like the clouds were starting to clear and the light was shining through. I could almost feel the shift in my perspective because an ex boyfriend of mine, who I hadn't spoken to for 5 years was concerned and offered to help me. That completely contradicted my view of my past and the people in my past. Suddenly, a person from my past who I only viewed negatively, was showing a positive side - a positive side that was always there but I ignored. That helped me realise that life is unpredictable and that can be either a negative or a positive thing.

It was only after I had been on medication that I realised how hyper-focused I was on my past. The medication almost reset my mind to focus on the here and now. It actually helped me to realise that my past has been and gone and to close that chapter of my life.

Although is was a horrible time, I am thankful I experienced it because now I can recognise when I'm starting to think negatively. I still get days where I fall back into thinking about all the negative things that have happened, but I remind myself where that pattern of thought can lead and pull myself back out of it. Before this, I would talk about bad things in my life to partners, now I choose not to because I know where it can lead. Even online, I won't spend too long dwelling on bad events in my life. The moment I start feeling a bit low, I stop and do something else to distract myself. I think it's normal and common for people to dwell on the past every now and then, but the trick is being able to pull yourself back out of that thought pattern before it leads to depression.

I overcame depression, but I do still experience anxiety, which is inherited but also in response to previous events in my life. What I've learned from overcoming depression has helped me realise when I'm being too focused on the future as well. I can't control the past and I can't control the future, so why do I spend so much time focusing on them? This is why meditation, that teaches you to be in the present can be so beneficial. It is definitely a mental skill that you can develop.

I've been a lot better over the last three years or so and by being aware of my own thought patterns and preventing myself from falling back into that cycle, it has helped prevent depression from taking hold again.

I hope this has been somewhat insightful to somebody. Thank-you for reading.

[Gedaria]

Yes my session with depression , started when I lost a daughter and her mother in an accident. I could feel my general mood and joy of life going down hill. But I still had my other daughters to keep me sane. But when my dear wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and it was terminal that was like being shot. I tried everything to prove the doctors wrong and some vain hope she could live ,, but 6 months later she was gone. Selfish thoughts that's all I could think of , killing myself to ease the pain , but thankfully my GP, was wise to what I was going through and put me on happy pills which lifted my mood. Also put me in touch with a barevement counceling. Which to my surprise helped a lot. Im still on the tablets , at a lower dose. But life seems possible now , 4 years on , the pain is still there but tolerable …...

[myTake Owner]

I'm sorry for your losses, that's a lot for someone to deal with. I think developing depression following such a horrible time is perfectly normal. I'm glad the pain has subsided a little and that you can tolerate it better.

[ChrisFletcher]

Thanks for sharing you experience. Depression has become part of our lives. I was too suffering from depression. But i didn't took any kind of medicines. My depression gone away with time. It makes me more stronger that i treated it without medications.

[myTake Owner]

There is debate about medicalising mental health issues, including depression. They say that depression is simply a response to life events and that extreme sadness is not only normal for humans to experience, but very common and shouldn't be treated as an abnormality, unless it becomes seriously severe. Your depression may have gone on its own because your situation changed or new opportunities happened which allowed you to see that life isn't all doom and gloom.

[Twonineninetwo]

I’ve always had anxiety but when I had my first kid the anxiety went through the sky. And from that anxiety I got depressed. It took me 21 months to accept that I needed help.
My second kid was only two months old and I was talking to the doctor asking for medication and therapy.
I just got off my meds a few weeks ago and my anxiety is better. Not gone because in my case I doubt it will ever be gone. But I can actually leave the house and I don’t cry 3 times a day every day.

[myTake Owner]

I'm glad you're improving. Honestly, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is possible to live a life that isn't run by your anxiety. Keep working at it (it does take work) and aiming to get better and you'll get there. <3

[lightbulb27]

Well said, you learned a lot and thankful you've had the prior boyfriend, social connection. There is nothing like that human loving connection, expression of concern, to life spirits. I agree wholeheartedly.

I think there is something you are missing though and I'll fill in this piece for you. To a degree, it appears a could was following you around with the people you were around. The center of it... is your sub conscious mind. You are selecting and accepting these people. Anyone can get unlucky, get sideswiped or surprised... but a pattern... that is you, or me, or everyone! We select and filter and choose from our wounded sub conscious. The wounds in us control and limit us, and tell us things like... we don't have worth, and we can't say no, and attract narcissistic people and abusers and users, etc.. All this speaks to... likely... father issues in your past, his job is to develop your sense of strong self, which sounds like was the mis. So that's part one... you gotta not ignore your stuff, but deal with it and re-frame those memories and emotions, else they sit there and screw us over and over! Ask me at my age how I know!

There are ways to deal with this so that those memories dont' control, I didn't say it's easy, it's work, but you are on the path. There are tools to diagnose where in your childhood (see developmental stages, Erickson chart) where the wounds/mis programming occurred. I'm going to say the word God now... sorry if that offends, but in my vew of the world God... that is the thing of highest energy that feels good, which we crave and need to grow and feel comfortable and feels good, is love, it is what we seek. That's God... doesn't go away, but our wounded minds mis programmed with shame, fear, guilt and other emotions, displace the love. And of course, we dont' feel good, so we seek anything to fix it, drugs, an escape, cutting because we can't feel anything. False programming by the world, including mistakes from parents and lies told to us and mis information, are the source. God's love, that is seeing things from the higher perspective and re-framing those memories now that you have an adults mind, would be the cure. Given a sense of anxiety, the trauma you encountered may map back to < 4 year old, and there's often more after that in such environments. At your age, we start to ask... why do I feel like this, why does this keep happening? Those questions can persist into ripe old age, but better to deal with them sooner than later. It's not easy, we are blind to our programming, being in the "now", reflecting in, and resolving those issues, is the path to freedom... not a pill.

[candygirl_9847]

I've been dealing with manic depression since I was a teenager. It was triggered by me having to stop school. Also, I developed this huge crush on my classmate that made me have delusions that I am hearing him and he is with me. I have this different view of reality. I am paranoid of my parents and people around me thinking that they will harm me. It's hard when you have this extreme ups and downs. Extreme sadness (depression) and extreme excitement (mania). It is also known as bipolar disorder, a chronic disease that I have to deal with and control, for the rest of my life.

Every time an event triggers, something that I would keep thinking about, that would prevent me from sleeping, my dosage will rise up, I lose my job, my money, my relationships. I am left with nothing.

So I agree with you, if I keep dwelling on my past, I will never get out from this pit.
If I worry about my future, I can never be happy.
People like us need to live in the moment. Have no expectations at all, no disappointments.

[DanishSaint]

Really impressive writing something like that :) that takes some courage to face demons of that magnitude... and that is what makes it very much more important to actually do it. To reach out, try to catch some of the many people who are in the same situation you was before you turned it around. Providing at least a little hope, some kind of light at the but ultimately, to show people, that it IS in fact possible to get trough it and out on the other side.
Well done, really :) and all the best to you :)

[omegofthepack]

I've struggled with this my whole life diagnosed with failure to thrive and trying different med combos, in and out of the psych ward since I was 6 mine is a chemical imbalance but the thought process you use still helps some, kind of interesting a guy rejecting me actually got me out of it I know that sounds counter intuitive but true he is the first person I have ever truly fallen in love with and I did sink pretty far right after he rejected me but in that pain I did something that really hurt him and I realized then he may not love me the way I wish he would but he does still care and I was really hurting everyone else around me being so depressed all the time and their happiness means more to me than anything else I won't drag them down with me anymore

[DebraHeart]

Well said. I'm glad you overcame it. I battle it often with anxiety, so I understand. I'm progressing though, I am fine, I'm very proud and happy... to even be as far as I am with it. Helpful post, thanks.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you, I'm glad it was helpful and I wish you all the best in your recovery ❤️

[Unit1]

Things, that mostly only REALLY depressed people will understand and why they are trapped in depression (detailed) ↗

I essentially became one with the money.
Some people seek god and Jesus to get them through. Mine is money.
Because in practice Money is the answer to absolutely everything in my life.
The green paper grants me unlimited freedom and possibilities. I will forget about depression with the right threshold of it's amount.

But that is just me. Somehow i am confident that the same will apply to quite some others.

[Drew8888]

Thanks for sharing that. As you say Depression comes in many forms, and rarely comes without Anxiety/Panic/Paranoia etc. And usually a lot of medications that within a short period of time make it even harder to separate there side effects from the ones you went on them for.. You should be very proud of yourself :)..
It’s can be so isolating, and very hard for those that love you, that you often have to keep at arms length (That is of course only from my experience ) ... Take care

[myTake Owner]

Thank-you, I wish you well.

[Drew8888]

right back ya.

[MORSEY]

HI I Have just joined i have had depression since i was 14 years old after the death of my father took his life and it has left a hole in my life since then i have had 2 deaths and other one soon. i have been to the doctors to be referred to the mental heath team they didn't want to know. i burst into tears every day and even during the night and i can't stand a lot of noise i get tired quickly.
sorry to be so gloomy.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the quote, depression can be about the past or the future. But it's true that what people suffer is the past and the future, not the present. Or more accurately, people suffer their memory and their imagination because nobody teaches us how to use them properly

[wdlad]

Admitting it n getting help is the hardest part soon as I was diagnosed n people knew I realized how many people I actually had there for me, felt like weight lifted, 3 years on still have down days but few n far between

[JamesBoradil03]

i cured my depression by using nicotine whenever i felt down, few months after that i was better n no longer got it. only downside is im addicted to nic now.

[myTake Owner]

Hopefully you can get off the cigarettes one day!

[OrangeBoy2]

Thank you for sharing your experience. That's a good quote.

[JaydenIsHere]

I've been in depression for periods of time but I never relied on meds to help me deal with it.

[myTake Owner]

That's up to you but I wouldn't completely rule out that option if things get worse. It doesn't hurt to try them. :)

[RMdimples]

Does thinking that You're ugly, believing You're not good enough for anyone, and never try new things because of your fear of what other people might say or think count as depression?

[myTake Owner]

Sounds more like low self esteem and anxiety issues. However, thinking like you are repeatedly over a long period can lead to depression so get help as soon as you can.

[Anonymous]

What if Im both (diagnosed as clinically) depressed and anxious Lao Tzu? Bet he can't answer that! Aside from being dead..

[myTake Owner]

It's possible to have both. You can switch from one pattern of thought to another. One moment you're thinking about your past, next it leads onto worrying about what your future will look like. It kind of goes hand in hand and can fuel each other.

[joycecoly]

you can use medicine for this visit now alldaygeneric. com you can find solution for your all kind of problem

[Secret6620]

Congrats on recovery 💙😇

[theFantasticJayy]

I would read this but my depression says no

[myTake Owner]

That's okay, read it in your own time.

[Joker_]

Sick grind dude 🤟🖖🤙

[Secretgardenblood]

Good take