The thing that sucks the most about being autistic

Lynx122

Hi everybody I wanna do a mytake about the positives and the negatives but a lot of the positives are related to the negative stuff I'll talk about today so I wanted to cover this first :).

What it takes to function

This is the biggest thing. It takes about 60% of my energy just to be present and not be a mess. It can vary a bit depending on the environment and what I'm doing but it's always very high. the impact this has on my life is huge. Imagine every day you get up your brain studies for a test a big important test you have the next day and anything you do, you have to do at the same time as studying. That's kind of what it feels like. Imagine working a job while studying for a test at the same time and how tired you'd be afterwards. I worked 40 hours for 1.5 years but it felt more like 100. If I was just a little more autistic I couldn't function by myself at all, I got really lucky.

The thing that sucks the most about being autistic

This is exactly what my head looks like in real life :)

Never enough resources

Because of this I'm always short on energy to do anything. The only things I can do that aren't that taxing are being alone in my room and:

watching stuff, gaming, writing, reading, sleeping, lying on my bed and thinking about stuff or going for a walk or run in the forest by myself.

Anything else is going to drain my tiny energy budget. No matter what I do there's always going to be a ton of things that just don't get done. I put a lot of effort into managing myself internally that's why I usually cut back on self management externally that's why I'm chaotic.

It does feel like trying to stop a ship from sinking
It does feel like trying to stop a ship from sinking

Consequences

It sucks cause it feels like even if I make the right decisions in life I'm not going to get far because I just can't put enough into the execution. It's like playing monopoly or some other turn based game and you can only move half the distance of everyone else. It makes me feel kind of powerless in my own life and incompetent. I try to keep peoples expectations low because it feels really shitty to let people down and be seen as a child basically.

I like to have everything under control and feel like I can handle any possible obstacles or complications and I'm good at that in some circumstances. But it's not possible for me in life as a whole.

I think this is also one of the big reasons why I'm skeptical of my prospects for a relationship. I think anybody would be underwhelmed by the amount of stuff I do in a day and how I live my life. I struggle with taking care of my own responsibilities already so I don't think I can offer much to anyone. I've been able to make a ton of progress in so many areas but this issue with the energy will never go away. And my struggles also don't make me feel very attractive. I feel good about myself in a lot of areas but this one is definitely tough.

I don't wish for a different body or a million dollars but if I had a wish I'd just ask to be able to do more stuff without straining myself, just being more capable that would be nice :)

The thing that sucks the most about being autistic

This might sound depressing af but there is a upside as well I'll write about it in my next mytake.

Thanks for reading and have a nice day! :)

#autism #MyLife

The thing that sucks the most about being autistic
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Most Helpful Guys

  • zeitgeist057
    Thank you for sharing your perspective, what you said makes a lot of sense. If I understand correctly, it feels like everything you do takes 150%-200% of the focus, energy, and willpower it takes someone who is not autistic.

    That sounds very overwhelming, tiring, and I would assume also very frustrating at times.

    It gave me some ideas if I happen to work with some autistic people (which I do from time to time) to maybe help create a time and space for them where they can just relax and feel as though they are actually at rest/recreation, rather than needing to "keep it together" and focus on not being chaotic for the sake of others around them.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Lynx122

      Yes that's the way it is :). And I feel like I also struggle with a lot of practical tasks because I tend to think too much and I'm just slow and inefficient. I'm lucky that I can have space when I need it. Yes I think it would help them. At my old job I sometimes went to lie in this empty room for half an hour at lunch and it did help but it just wasn't enough.

  • YHL6965
    Don't try to balance your life based on what others do, based on how "better" they appear, set your own rules and live YOUR life at YOUR own rhythm. It's okay if you're not as good or fast or whatever at others. What matters is that you make use of what you have to seek your own happiness and fulfillment.

    I can relate though, often feeling out of energy or spent, feeling that some thing can be very difficult despite sounding simple on paper.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Lynx122

      I'm trying but I keep running into a wall when I set goals for myself. It's just tough to deal with these limitations. I give myself breaks and take care of myself but I still get frustrated over what feels like weakness to me. I'm pretty good at accepting myself and loving myself usually but this part is still tough to sawallow because it just gets in the way of my life constantly. I've been living by my own rythm for a long time but it doesn't stop me from hoping I can do more.

    • YHL6965

      I see how it can be frustrating. What makes it hard to accept compared to other things? Is it because you think you could do more?

    • Lynx122

      Nope I've pushed myself enough. It's more about I have to always make tough decisions about what I should prioritize and I rarely feel like I'm doing well. And when I do I'm usually stressed out and I can't keep it up long term. I have a ton of ideas but can't execute them that's why I like writing and stuff cause I can just get my thoughts out without extra work. I guess I'm just not having the best time right now but it will pass again :)

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Most Helpful Girls

  • AmandaYVR
    That was good, Lynx.

    Maybe in the future you can write an article about any tips, anything you've learned for how an autistic person could make small improvements in their life. People like a bit of hope and advice.

    P. S. I like your second photo choice. It's very contemplative.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Lynx122

      Thanks :) Yeah I'll write about the positives first and then I'll do that. How have you been? :)

    • AmandaYVR

      I've been pretty good, thanks. Still covid-free and whatnot. Hopefully Christmas will still be on, as I haven't visited my mum in another city all year. Getting a bit worried, as right now her island wants us mainlanders quarantined.

      I am so out of it right now though. Last night the wind woke me up after a couple of hours sleep and I couldn't sleep for 2 hrs after that. Just tossed and turned, then took a sleeping pill at 3am but it's made me so hungover. I hate this feeling. My brain's at half steam.

    • Lynx122

      Oh that sucks, I hope you sleep well tonight :)

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  • FairEnough
    Focus on the brighter sides! I know it can get hard but remember, you won't be able to change it so you might as well learn how to live with it and make something positive out of it.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

06
  • cnhinton
    I'm autistic.

    I don't like being so dependent on myself to get things done. Sometimes I wish I could relax and ask for help.

    I also don't like my quiet nature. Sometimes I wish I was more talkative.

    I don't like obsessing on negative things and taking medication for it.
  • OddBeMe
    So the fact that I work with folks with debilitating autistic and mental disabilities, you’re just a baby who wants attention.
    • Lynx122

      Oh so if I'm not completely disabled I'm just whining huh?

    • OddBeMe

      Yeah. People are quick to find excuses for life. If it helps you rationalize, keep it up!

    • Lynx122

      If it helps you to be a judgmental asshole keep it up too :)

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  • Jamie05rhs
    Thanks for sharing, brother.
  • msc545
    Interesting mytake - thanks!
  • Anonymous
    I was memorizing songs and singing songs when I was littleI was going out of the house alone. I was playing games with my friendsI could talk to girls when I was little. Now none of these i can't do it.
  • Anonymous
    Because women are entitled to a relationship but men are not

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