Being really unfit and eating crap, ashamed to tell anyone?

[Anonymous]

I have pretty much let myself go. I don't know why, maybe I'm depressed or something. I don't really feel like doing anything or seeing my friends anymore. It's partly because I'm so ashamed I've become fat and unfit. I think they are all judging me. I try to pretend I only eat like vegetables and oatmeal whenever I see other people but I don't know if they buy that... I'm so unfit I get out of breathe after a few stairs :( I eat crap like crisps, chocolate cake, cookies, candy, soda every day huge amounts :( I'm so sad eating is the only thing that makes me happier.
How could I change this?

[Anonymous]

I think your shame and insecurity is a big source of the problem, as well as possible depression.
First, what's something you enjoy, or used to enjoy?

You know, you don't have to live off veggies and oatmeal nor do you have to run ten miles to get fit. Start out by first, calculating how many calories a day you need.
www.my-calorie-counter.com/Calorie_Calculator.asp#

There are 3,500 EXTRA calories required to make one pound. Likewise, eating a deficit of 3,500 calories less will equal one pound.
Example- you need 2,000 cal a day, so everyday, you eat 200 less. That's 1,400 less calories a week, thus, in 2.5 weeks, you will have reached 3,500 calories, and thus, you will loose one pound. You could perhaps do well to start off with only eating 200-300 less calories a day, which isn't a whole lot if you think about it :)
Remove ALL junk from your house! If you live with other people, ask them if it's okay to throw it out, or tell them to hide it somewhere, like in their rooms. ABSOLUTELY, do not drink anything BUT WATER. I know soda can get very addicting, but it is bad for you. Drink lots of water!! I quit drinking soda over a year ago, now I rarely crave it and only drink it once a month max.
You should be eating lean chicken and fish for dinner. There's so many good recipes out there too :) Rice is good. Steam some veggies for sides, whichever ones you like. Maybe have a slice of garlic bread as a side as well. I would avoid potatoes for now, as well as pasta.
Salads are good, and they don't have to be boring. Get some good croutons, add chicken or tuna, and honestly, a little cheese won't hurt you. You don't have to cut out all fatty foods. Moderation is key.
Oatmeal with no sugar or flavoring is good, just add a little cinnamon. Have a blueberry bagel maybe. Some peanut butter. Drink some juice.
Fruit parfaits are a good way to get something sweet without sugar.

Hope this helps a bit. Good luck and don't be ashamed of yourself!

[Opinion Owner]

oh and I forgot, start by walking everyday. I walk for 2 hours sometimes! Get some comfy clothes on and put some headphones in or talk on the phone to someone and walk for at least 30 minutes.
Do some jumping jacks, and go for a bike ride if you have a bike. And go swimming if you have a membership to an indoor pool :)
Anything cardio is good for your body right now.

[Asker]

Thank you :) this was helpful! I used to like dancing and fashion. Now when I don't think anything looks good on me I haven't really cared that much... I like salads :) it's easy to made. I know I should rehab myself from soda, although I mostly drink Diet Coke I know it's not healthy at all...
Walking sounds like a good way to start :) Swimming is nice, I'm just too embarrassed to go anywhere in bathing suit right now... maybe after I've lost some pounds.

[Opinion Owner]

What my mom does, is she'll buy something really cute in a somewhat smaller size (not a small or XS or anything, more like a pant size down or a medium instead of large) and once you lose a few pounds, you'll be stoked to be able to wear it.
I think you'll find that if you stick to this, the first several pounds will come off easily!

[Curmudgeon]

It's hard when you don't feel good about yourself. But how do you really look? Have you a picture? You may think the situation is a lot worse than it really is.

But even if it is, What to do:

1. Pour yourself into school / work. Make more money and/or build up skills to make more money. Or if you find an academic interest that excites you, go for it. This is always good.

2. Exercise. Doesn't have to be sporting, it is good just to hike, bike, or lift weights. (a) DON'T compete against anyone--that will make you feel worse--just compete against yourself. See if you can go that extra mile on a walk, or that extra few pounds weightlifting. (b) Find a personal trainer who is not a "meathead" they do exist.

3. Look into antidepressant meds. They can really help in some cases.

4. Done enough of #1 and #2? Then develop an interest that takes you someplace you haven't been. Ever skied down a mountain? Scuba dived under the water? Backpacked or camped out in pretty places to get away from it all for a few days? There is more to life than just "Birth, School, Work, Death" as the song goes.

5. Obviously, less carbs and more protein. Beef Jerky over cookies. Diet pop if you must drink pop. Fruits over candy.

6. Don't expect changes overnight. This process is *slow*. But like the Tortoise and the Hare fable, it does work.

[Asker]

Thank you!!! :) :) This was good advice.
I'm in university (law school) but I'm not sure if it's for me. I'll try to get some exercise, it's a good point I don't need to compete against others... And I'll try to develop a new interest, that sounds fun :)

[Curmudgeon]

THAT explains so much. Law School (especially 1st year) is TOUGH, as those who went for that tell me. I worked as a paralegal for an ambulance chaser for a couple of years a. But then I became a Certified Public Accountant, and guess what? That has a lot of law in it too.

[Asker]

Yeah, I feel like it's quite a lot to handle... and it was more like my parents idea that I should do law, and I just don't know if it's the wrong choice for me. I feel quite unhappy a lot of time

[Curmudgeon]

I worked as a paralegal for an ambulance chaser for a couple of years and gave up on the idea of law school, as I felt like I was serving Satan. :-) But accounting has lots of Law too. It is a good skill to have.

[Anonymous]

Hey stick this for a week u'll loose a lot. It's called Fruit-juice-soup
Just have that will be ok...
It's your will power get self-discipline... whenever hungry take a Fruit, juice or soup.
Physical light exercises are:-
Go for walks. Do a lot of stairs. Do done cycling
Drink lots of water.
After 7 days treat yourself... eat what you want.. but modestly.
Then back to the routine...
Within month you will loose a lot of weight guaranteed.
Only person who can do it... is U

[Athleticbroo]

"How could I change this?"

By not being a lazy ass and actually go do something. I was a 140 pounds scrawny kid once but now I am 230

[SkaterDude]

eating food is your guilty pleasure, i am sure you are not only one who does that