How can I get control?

[Anonymous]

How can I get control of my anxiety while I'm finalizing divorce documents. I went to court Tuesday and I've been having trouble eatting and sleeping ever since. It's almost been a week and I'm still anxious about what happened. I do have an anxiety disorder but it has gotten so much better now that I never have to see him or hear from him but at the court house we are forced to interact. Ughhhhh I feel like my healing process starts over everytime I have to get involved with him no matter how small.

[pnl86]

The thing with anxiety is that your thinking process starts viewing information through one lens of "negative thinking." It's like you've reached a fork in the road, only that one part of the fork is covered in bushes and large branches, so it appears like there's really just only one way to go - the negative thinking way.

The first step (which is the hardest) is to "recognize" and "be aware" of when you are doing this. This is often very hard, but possible. Many people are so resistant to change, that they will often tell themselves things like, "I can't." If it has to do with the way you think, yes you can. You must "catch" yourself engaging in the negative pattern of thinking, and "reject" the negative thought. Yes, it's easy to succumb to the negative thinking, but you know what will happen to you emotionally if you do. Do you want to feel bad, or do you want to feel good?

The second step is, "replace" that negative thinking with an "alternative thought."

I've dealt with a boss who had a drug-induced psychotic/manic bipolar episode every other day. It's not quite narcissistic personality disorder, but it came awfully close.

The first thing I would tell myself is, "You can't be angry at him as a person, any more than you can be angry at someone with no hands for not giving you a hand. He's suffering from a mental disability. He is ill. You cannot hate him as a person, and you cannot hate the mental health condition. This is the mental health condition, not him. So, learn how to deal and survive around this mental health patient, and don't let it otherwise affect you. If a sane person was thinking rationally, his opinions of you would matter. A mental patient's opinions of you are meaningless, so don't let them affect you."

Next, sometimes he would take a baseball bat or golf club or hunting rifle and gesture as if he was going to use those things to physically harm me, or he would come up to my face very quickly as if he was going to hit me. The combination of yelling and his face turning red, and his choice of words and insults, would normally be unacceptable, but for the fact that you know he's crazy. The goal of these people is to feel like they're "in control" and "own" you.

Remember, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt. Don't ever give someone that's mentally ill your "consent" to make you feel inferior, sub-human, or worthless.

[Anonymous]

There is no easy way, Anxiety is a bitch.