Please help me, can anyone know why I am like this?

Notsothere
I don't really know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's the genes, past experiences, or just a lack of self-confidence. Can anyone help?

- I can't naturally make eye contact, as if I get an anxiety everytime I have to do so. And when I do, I feel I am that I am doing it too much and the person I talk to might think I'm odd in doing so, I have no idea.

- I can't easily let go from my family, especially my mom and most of the time I feel such a kid and act like so, I am now 23 by the way.

- I don't have any friends. I can make new friends but most of the time, if not all, I'm just too tired or lazy to even spend time with them. Also, I am choosy with picking friends, I never hang out with people who act misbehavely.

- I don't see myself as a good-looking guy. I have a small birthmark on my face, I have pox scars, I have gummy teeth, double chin, bad hair, 5'7, slim, and maybe I even feel insecure about my size down there, I don't know just some girls here seem it's important to them, I don't know again...

- I was told I was smart until grade 4, top of the class, but after I was bullied for the first time in grade 5 I started playing computer games up even this moment for 13 years now and it is my habitual escape from all my stresses in every aspect of life.

- I never had a real relationship. I had two ldr, one was just a month and the other one is more than two years now with a foreign girl, but I don't know really know if she even truly loves me just that she cheated on me before in our early months as a "couple".

- My dad was or maybe still is not a good dad. He was a womanizer, cheater, and a user. And he doesn't really care for my mom but they are still together for more than 20 years I think. He changed now I think... because he is too old for women but he still spends TOO much.
Please help me, can anyone know why I am like this?
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