How do I break it off with him?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months. The sex was great, at first and we used to go out. I have a guy friend that I have known for almost 2 years. He and I have never kissed, or anything. The closest we got to anything was a hug, oh and he held my hair while I was drunk hanging out of his passenger door last summer. Anyways, My Boyfriend and I have not gone anywhere for A MONTH! I'm unemployed, was laid off last year, so my day consists of job searching, working on my house and going to school at night. He works during the day from mid afternoon till 9 or 10 at night and has a weekend. He claims that he is always tired to go anywhere, even on his days off he just wants to lay around. A week ago, I went out with my best guy friend and my Boyfriend said "your FN ridiculous! You stupid dumb ass!" He called me these names because I was out with my friend. We were not even drinking just had an appetizer and a glass of water. I can't even go karaoke with my MOM! Without him getting upset. Okay, where I was trying to go with that story is, a week ago he told me that we were done through a text because I was hanging out with a guy. Then I responded back with "oh, we are done because you don't want me to have a life outside of you? Even though you don't want to go anywhere? I don't think its fair to me to be locked up like a caged bird because your tired. We used to go places. Now all we do is stay up till 3 am watching movies, yet we can't go anywhere. Makes good sense" (in a smart ass tone) He responded back with "your fn ridiculous, goodbye" and I was like "okay, well good luck on your search for someone that will change who they are and obey your every word" then he goes, "WTF, are you serious, we are done?" Um der, he just broke up with me and then he's asking what why? What should I do? Break it off with him? Wait until he breaks it off? I don't know how to do it because if he tries to break up with me, then I agree...and then he trips out. Oh, and its okay for him to add women to his FB...but not okay for me to talk to NE GUY! EVER...

[themastaplan]

do you want this to work? do you think he can not be jealous? he has jealousy issues like crazy which means he doesn't trust you whether he says he trusts you or not...you need to sit down and talk with him and figure out why he doenst talk to you, tell him you want to go out more and you miss when you guys used to hang out and do things other than sit and watch movies...but that's only if you want it to work

otherwise if you want to end it you've got to be CLEAR about it, he's confused ur confused, you've got to be like look I've been thinking and it think tis best we stayed apart, I've got all these things on my mind and you're supposed to help me relieve my stress not give me stress...make it clear that you aren't interested, you don't have to tell him why but I probably would then start no contact...\

but if you want it to work and you are in love with him, youve got the figure out the underlying problem and stop "band-aiding" everything and then it leading up to a bigger argumen tor fight...identify the prolbem and fix it, or just end it but make it clear its done...take some time apart (month or so) see if you still miss him, I don't know but either way somethings got to be done, GL let me know if you need any other advice

[Asker]

Thank you. I will suggest time apart. I do love him but I hate being accused for things when I have done nothing wrong. He said he loved me last night and I told him that when he suspects I'm cheating, calls me names and curses at me, its not a sign of love. Thanks again for your advice. I will keep you posted.

[Meedo]

Hello ,

I think the origin of the problem is his energy level. This can be due to many things. Fatty diet, fast food , not working out , lack of sleep , sleep apnea etc.. etc.. . He needs to get his act together health wise . May be you can guide him on this road. He needs to start swimming and working out regularly and also loose all the fats , sauces etc.. Let him get a College student cook book that has easy healthy recipes .

When he has been working out for lets say a 2 weeks or so , he will feel better on all fronts. Sometimes relations are affected by hidden stress or worries . Have a straight but compassionate and supportive talk with him . If you really love him and want it to work , I suggest you give him a couple of month leeway . Try to go out with your ''girlfriends '' instead in this grace period .

If he has no will to better himself and try to understand you . Then I guess you should move on .

All the best for you ,

Meedo