I don't want to lead him on anymore. How do I break it off?

[sweetpeas]

So my dilemma here is that there is this really nice guy that has developed strong feelings for me over a 2 month period . At first I was baffled but then I thought I should give him chance. He made me feel special and I thought maybe I can fall in love with him. Though he was really nice and sweet.. I couldn't like him in that way. Instead of developing feelings for him I developed them for my really good guy (practically bffs) friend. But I don't think it's fair for the other nice guy, I don't want him to get mad and turn mean. I feel so guilty for loving my best friend, though it's not for sure he shares mutual feelings for me but I have a hunch that he does . I don't know what to do. I want to tell the nice guy I think we should stop talking because he says he falls more in love with me everyday. How should I tell him I don't think I can see him that way. I really care about this guy and it seems that he wants me to return the feelings he shows to me but each time I try it just doesn't feel right so I don't. I'm so confused. >___<

[SteelyMcBeam]

"Instead of developing feelings for him I developed them for my really good guy (practically bffs) friend."

What kind of feelings are we talking about? Are you saying that you have more in common with your good guy friend, or are you saying you find him more physically attractive, or what?

If it's the physical attraction thing I'm currently in a similar sort of situation with a girl I'm currently dating. She's awesome and we have a lot in common, but I am having trouble finding her attractive. Even so, if she started working out (maybe if she joined me in going to the gym) and if she learned how to pretty herself up a little I would think she would be the ideal girl! If the guy you are in a relationship with is just unattractive you could maybe hint to him that you'd like him to start hitting the gym and caring for his personal appearance more.

If it's that your friend has more in common...well you ultimately can't change who a person is in terms of beliefs, behavior, and background. But you should be certain you know how much you have in common with both guys before making any decisions.

"I feel so guilty for loving my best friend, though it's not for sure he shares mutual feelings for me but I have a hunch that he does."

Be careful with hunches! Both genders like to exaggerate their own perceptions of how things actually are when they want something good to happen. It's very possible this guy who is your friend may just be being friendly in the end and have his eyes set on a different girl...If you break your current relationship there is a chance you'll end up with neither guy in the end.

The real question you should be asking yourself before you make any decision is this: If your good guy friend never existed, would you be happily pursuing your current relationship? If yes, then you shouldn't make any hasty decisions without confirming that the guy you like more feels the same way about you -and then you should still consider the pros and cons of your current relationship. If no, then you should break-up solely because you were unhappy from the start. Nobody likes to hurt anyone in a relationship, but it is ALWAYS better to end earlier than later if the relationship is doomed to end regardless.

There is no easy solution for you, but you will know deep down what has to be done. This is life.

As for my girl, I still think I can get her to lose weight and become prettier. If I can get that to happen she'll be awesome and I'll easily want to be more than friends with her! But don't get me wrong -I am working on hitting the gym and making myself sexier as well.

[DanteSparda]

"We like those who don't like us and turn down those who truly likes us..."

how would you feel if you are in the place of that nice guy ?! some girl ditched you just because she's in love with some other guy which she's not even sure that he likes her back..!

I faced the same situation as this nice guy... and ask me, that does sting...girl..

You're lucky that you're wanted by a nice guy who truly loves you for who you are unlike other guys who just want to get in your pants...

and when you'll get mature ,maybe you'll regret this decision in future and this nice guy probably won't be there to support you anymore

Do what's right for you...

good luck

[sweetpeas]

Yeah I know what you mean. I have dealt with a couple of guys that only had one thing on their mind and I consider myself lucky to have him in my life but I simply can't feel it. I have put myself in his place countless of times and it all leads back to should I just ignore the feelings I have for my friend and just focus on this guy. But, I don't feel I'm going to see him romantically anytime soon and I know the wait is killing him inside. :/

[rogaortega]

Well I would say you shouldn't even sacrifice anything for the guy and you shouldn't have to suffer just because you feel bad and it might scar him for life, but you lead him on so you are in quite the pickle.