I started cutting... what should I do?

[Anonymous]

So yesterday I was really really depressed and too make things worse I got into a fight with my boyfriend... so for the first time in my life I started cutting. It wasn't really like the hardcore people who get a big knife and slice up their arms... i was just I bed, I realised I was sitting on a pin lol... so I just started cutting the top side of my arm with it... i didn't break the skin except a small 1cm spot that didn't even draw blood, they were just scratches. I've had cat scratches worse than that... I started talking to my friends about it... two if them were supportive but I got into a miny argument with my ex, that's sorted now. But my friend told me to tell my boyfriend... so I did... and I got into a huge fight with him... I ignored him for the rest of the day but then I felt like i was about to cut again so I told mu friends again... they were no help so I decided to try and risk it again by telling my boyfriend... this time he was supportive... he ended up convincing his dad to drop him off and he rushed over as fast as he could and gave me hugs. He calmed me down so much that I fell asleep against him. Also today he gave me more hugs... but I feel like cutting again... like I'm not really sad or anything, I'm quite calm and relatively happy... i just feel like doing it again.. why?

[Rawrzz]

Well, that's not that bad, but it does show self-harming behavior. It doesn't start out serious, but it could get there. That is not a good method of dealing with stress, and it very well could escalate.

Pain releases endorphins, so it can make you feel good. Ironically. Or it can distract you from emotional pain, or it can be used as a method to punish oneself for something they feel they did wrong. They can also do it for attention, because they feel left out or want sympathy. This is often looked down on very much so, but it can become rather serious.

The fact that you spoke about it to your friends then also to your boyfriend could mean that you're trying to look for help for something you don't know how to handle on your own. If your school has a therapist on board, I think it might be time to go check it out.

If you begin drawing blood, it's time to tell your parents, for sure. A trip to rehab might be in order, at that point. In fact, you should probably tell your parents right now, anyway. Say "I'm afraid that I might start hurting myself, what can I do?"

I can say one thing. I was a cutter when I was your age, and I really regret it. Having all these scars up my arm. It's extremely embarrassing, and not a day goes by that I wish I wouldn't have started.

I had a lot of friends who did it, too, and it became this thing with us. When we were feeling upset, we would cut, pretty badly. Then, the next day, we'd meet up and whomever was injured was given a lot of sympathy and told not to do it, because they were cared about. So, other people giving us attention actually encouraged us to do it more, because it proved that we had a place where we belonged. Just be careful of that. Don't resort to marking yourself up in order to prove that other people care about you. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, only that it is possible. But don't rely on your friends to save you from yourself. Don't do it to get hugs from your boyfriend. That won't work in the end.

There are better ways to cope with life, too. Reading, running, sports, music, being with friends, some other hobby. So, when you feel that urge, you should distract yourself with one of these things, and I promise it will help.

If you feel like using something sharper, really don't. You could also wear a rubberband on your wrist and snap it when you get an urge to cut yourself. That's a lot healthier.

But, if it does get worse. Just remember to sterilize whatever you use with rubbing alcohol.

[HorrorFan]

The first time you cut, it caused your boyfriend to not fight with you and instead being supportive and coming over and hugging you a lot.

Now your brain is associating cutting with getting that type of treatment as a reward.

[Asker]

Not really, we did have a big fight. And I know how disappointed he would be if I did it again. I associate it with pain and disappointment. And disappointing people is one of my biggest fears so that's why I'm trying not to. I know he would give me hugs anytime I needed or wanted one.

[Hollywood-Glam]

You should focus on other things that will help you end self harm. What I recommend doing the most is to read a psychological book about self harm.
www.amazon.com/.../1583917055
It should inform you and help you cope with your issue. Another thing to do is activities that will relieve stress ( walking by the beach, mediatating, listening to music, having a massage, yoga, etc...), since emotional pain is a big part of stress. I know it's far from easy to overcome it, but you must make an effort to fight this if you want to be happy again. Do whatever it takes to fight this, you can do it! Never ever let a problem make you reach to the point of cutting yourself. We all know it's not going to help, plus you don't want to damage your skin. The moment you start to get really sad/upset about something, immediatly look forward to talking to a counseler. Professional help can come in really handy. Seeking professional help as soon as possible will make the situation improve, opposed to not doing anything about it which leads to feeling worse and doing useless things such as cutting.

[Checkers82]

As someone who has been struggling with this kind of stuff for a long time I can kind of understand what you're going through. I know the urge will be there but as soon as you think about it just do something mind numbing like watch a tv episode, listen to music and read a book or at least just something that distracts you enough until the feeling rides out. Just let your friends know how you feel if you think you need to so they're aware of whats happening and can look out for you. Also try keeping sharp things out of your room or wherever you feel most comfortable as this can become like your safe place that you go to when you feel like this. Your mental health should be a top priority for you now. Also just ignore most of the comments on here. They don't understand what it's like and can't give you decent advice.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot. Your actually one of the most helpful so far. There's a lot of asses here :/ but thanks a lot

[Checkers82]

Well I know what it's been like for me and the asses are everywhere. If you ever need someone to talk to about it just message me and I'll be happy to help.

[Asker]

Thank you a lot. :)

[lovestruckangel]

It doesn't matter that it's not a knife... it's still cutting. I guess it all has to start somewhere. I've never done it but have had depressive feelings. You just have to keep staying strong. Keep busy. Do some physical activity get out in the fresh air and sunshine. They all help release endorphins. So happy your boyfriend is there for you. He must really care for you. Hold on to those feelings when you feel like cutting again and how he feels to hear you cutting yourself... hopefully they will all help keep you from cutting yourself and keep away negative feelings.

[Klara-Hitler]

Try to take some deep breaths when you get angry.

Practising meditation at your age is very helpful. you need to practice patience and silence. Try to talk less and think and rethink and think and rethink your thoughts, words, deeds.

Meditating helps.

Why you want to repeat? Sexual hormones + lack of patience + lack of control on your feelings + a lack of thinking and rethinking + general ignorance

You need to meditate and educate yourself.

[unbrandedsouls]

Cutting is crazy addictive. It can start small, with a couple of scratches but then it can change to deeper, longer, bledding. And the deeper you go around the wrists the more fatal it is. I'm doing it too, but if you're happy you need to focus on what makes you happy and stay away from sharp stuff.

[nononoG]

Because you, unconsciously, think that it is good for you, when you are having problems. Just don't do that. You are able to control yourself from anything. Cutting yourself will not resolve your problems. By doing that, you can get in some real issues. I really advise you to stop, before it gets worst.

[Anonymous]

cutting is the most wonderful thing i can do in my life, it gives me relief and i feel a warm feeling (conditioned behaviour), i do however know that this kind of self destructive behaviour is not good for me, so i stopped cutting myself, and so should you, no matter how great is the desire.

[Mesonfielde]

Well I don't think cutting actually helps your problems, so I'm not sure why you even started doing that. This is what the media does for us... Tells us to cut and drink alcohol. Instead of solving problems.

[Klara-Hitler]

Self-harm existed long before media was a thing.

[Mesonfielde]

@Klara-Hitler it wouldn't be so common if it weren't hyped by the media as the "go-to solution when you're dealing with stress"

[Asker]

I never did it because of media. I hardly see it on media because I'm barely on it.

[Mesonfielde]

And yet you pick the most commonly talked about method of self-harming. Now isn't that a coincidence?

[Klara-Hitler]

self-harm isn't the ultimate solution hyped by the media. it is certain sub-cultures that promote self-harm, and they aren't big enough to assume that media is promoting self-harm. media gives them free platform to express their non-sense. the main culture of the society is weakened by various groups and children that haven't been grown up in strong cultures fall into those sub-cultures.

plus one doesn't need a sub-cultures to self-harm. It existed for a long, long time. needs a combination of different feelings to do it.

[joe138]

I was a cutter and listen no matter how much you want to don't do it. If depression is the case get chocolate bars the lowest about 60% Coco then 70, 80, and 90% 100% if you can find it and try to channel your depression and occupy your self with videogames, art, music, you get the idea. But avoid cutting and try to get it out of your mind.

[ClumsyAngel]

Well, you should stop it and talk to a phychiatrist, because the only thing you'll end up doing is just adding scars... That's not going to help you in Any way

[Asker]

It's easier said than done when it comes to stopping cutting. I already go to counselling too :/

[ClumsyAngel]

Replace it with ice cubes or something, that ice cold stuff

[samit11]

I think you keep getting that feeling because your mind needs to refresh from all of what happened. Sports, meeting new people, hanging out with new friends.. etc are all things u can do to realize that life is bigger than "cutting".

[GingerGuy]

Seek counselling. That's going to help you far more than harming yourself or anything else. To me, that's a warning sign you need to talk to someone.

[Asker]

I'm already going to counselling

[This_is_my_username]

you should stop. It's not good. Instead have a diary and write your feelings down. Do something productive. Even though it's gonna be hard.

[Asker]

I do, I even draw a lot and read

[This_is_my_username]

have you been talking to someone? is this pent up frustration? what's going on?

[Asker]

I talk to my friends about it a lot, and I'm going to counselling. My mum and dad knows I'm depressed but just not that I'm cutting. I'm not really sure what's going on... I've just been depressed for so long, since primary school actually.

[This_is_my_username]

do you think it would be a good idea for you to tell your parents? or are you not comfortable? Maybe you should mention to your counselor that you're having a rough time!!! Just know that you're not alone. It's just a rough patch for you that's all! you got so so much potential i bet. You're stronger than this.. anything! don't let people beat you down. Instead

Stick that head up high. Push that chest out (lol not really) ;) and walk around like you own the world. Not like it own you :) cuz it doesn't kay sweetheart! everything going to be alright.

[Asker]

Thank you so much! You've been really helpful. I find it hard to talk to my dad cause he can be an ass but he would understand the most because he's been through the same. My mums the easiest to talk to and I'm closer to her but I just don't want to disappoint her

[This_is_my_username]

I'm glad I could help ya Hun. It's my pleasure. I was your age too. My parents had a rocky relationship and so when something happened I use to keep it to myself. It was tough. Like no one was there for me. I bet it feels the same for you. But it's not. Really I'm not lying. Sometimes life will test you. It's just the part of the journey. But you'll look back and you'll be like " hell ya! Life threw that at me and I survived and I'm strong and it's not going to define me!" you'll be proud. Hell you should be proud right no. Growing up with a. Asshole father? Ya been there. Not easy. Like u also I'm close to my mama as well. Don't hide anything from her. Because you trying to protect her from something that's hurting you is only going to hurt her. She needs to know. Your mama ain't gonna be disappointed. After all you are her angel! If you need to talk anytime. Feel free to message me! I won't mind at all. Id actually like to hear from you ☺️😜 and your progress! Keep being you girly!

[Asker]

One again thank you so much. I told my oldest sister about it, which was the most terrifying thing in the world, she was quite angry but also really supportive. I managed to get her not to tell mum because I want to myself, so when I go up to my mums in the holidays I'll talk to her about it. My dads not too bad, he can just be a bit strict and I have to get used to him doing his old army sergeant major thingy, he hasn't been in the army for over 20 years yet he still acts like it haha. I'm also really not use to dealing with my dad, I've only been living with him for just over half a year. So it kinda hard haha. It's actually really good talking to you. :) you have been really supportive. :) thanks

[chintita]

scars r awk to cover up, if u want that out of body kinda feel take cold / hot showers instead. less harmful but still therapeutic

[Hearteater]

Do high intensity interval training, eat no sugar, more protein, drink lots of water, and most importantly no salty and oily food.

[Asker]

But salt and vinegar chips 😢 haha I'll try

[Anonymous]

It's very addictive, I've done it years ago too. At some point I was cutting dayly. Nothing too deep, but it made me calm when I was upset.

Stop with it as soon as you can: now!

[redeyemindtricks]

How'd you stop?

[Opinion Owner]

@redeyemindtricks force of will :p
Others recommend using non-harmful ways to get pain, like holding ice cubes or slapping elastic bands against your skin, but I feel that doesn't stop it.

Dealing with the reason you started helps too.

[kittykatbrat]

SI = a sad cycle of self hate and road to nowhere.
I know better than to think I can stop you.

[hawaiiangroove]

What? Im confused, if your not bleeding then whats the problem?

[Asker]

The problem is my friends are now disappointed in me and it's probably not a good idea to do it :/ just kinda hard to stop

[Mario21]

You're 15 and haven't even been to the hard parts of life... and don't do it cuz... just don't thats stupid👊

[chc0009]

Fuck that guy, I can't understand how douchebags like him are the ones who get women to like them.

[Asker]

He is a really nice guy, I think he just didn't know how to react because he knows what it's like to cut, so he really didn't want me to go through the same. I know it just sounds like me defending him because he's my boyfriend but nah, he's really supportive. Anyway he got a smack over the head by me and several of my friends haha

[Marinepilot]

Cutting ain't good ! Please get help ! Things maybe bad, but bad times don't last. Please get help.

[Anonymous]

cut off with your friends and become more self-contained instead of cutting yourself
or at least use clean and desinfected razors/knives...