Have You Been Bullied Before? Did you forgive them?

Question

I've been bullied since I was young this is my before and after quarantine (after the bullying stop) I struggle with low self esteem and insecurities, how can I forgive the bullies that hurted me? Any advice as well?

ohshee · Accepted Answer

I want you to understand one thing you are beautiful you are you when a bully confronts you it's because they hate themselves and they see something that they like they see something that they want to be but they can't be because they hate themselves and they get treated like shit so then they have to do it to other people because they want them to feel as bad as they do. And once you allow it to happen they will continue to do it if you want to do something for yourself next time somebody bullies you take a step into them and Whisper go for it because I'm going to fuck you up in about 2 seconds whisper it I guarantee you they will stop or if they start drop whatever you have in your hands and and punch them as hard as you fucking can right in the mouth I guarantee that they will stop don't be scared don't be afraid it really doesn't hurt to get punched what hurts is if you don't do something about it and you let it keep happening that's the part that hurts don't let it hurt you no more I know you have had dreams of what you would like to do to your voice if you could don't dream about it do it. Okay now everything I just told you is the wrong way to go about it in one sense I can feel you from here you need to do something about it most Bully's are little weasel punks and if they didn't have an audience they wouldn't do it I'm serious this is the wrong answer but do it because it is the right answer show people who you are and you don't want to be messed with. And if they swing back at you smack him in the face again as hard as you can make your fist go to the back of their head when you hit their face they will stop believe me when it's over with you will love yourself 100 times better the pain that you go in and out of each and every day because of this is one thousand times worse then a punch take a stand and do something about it they will stop

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You have already covered the first step which is the desire to forgive, that is good. Often we feel hurt when our value or own self image comes under attack. Understanding no one is perfect save God and we are all flawed by Sin helps to orientate our self images. Hatred and attacks our evil, but we all have done this. God wants us to forgive as we have been forgiven. If you repent and accept Jesus Christ' sacrifice and as lord and savior you are saved and forgiven. From that place we can be freed of our grudges and hatred towards one another. Forgiveness is a process, but it starts in our hearts and carries out in our actions. Realizing we are equal and no better than anyone else makes things easier for sure.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

Yes and yes but i still avoid them. A lot of girls in Hs tried to jump me when they heard i wanted to push this girl off a stage for cheating with my boyfriend. She just found out she was pregnant at the time and i said to one source “man we we graduate i want to push her off a stage.” Mind you, graduation was 3 years from that day. So this one girl who haaaated me started a rumor that i wanted to kill a baby. Pissed me off because i take motherhood seriously. Yes i wanted the hoe to break a few bones but never would i push her while she's pregnant. So yea basically the whole grade of girls tried to jump me daily. They even turned my cousins against me (only because the cousins didn't want to get bullied too). Thank goodness i was a teachers pet because i spent most of my lunch in different classrooms or the library. The librarian had to close the library when i was in there so that the girls didn't come in. I couldnt even go to the bathroom. Aside from teachers, only the boys had my back. However, they were mostly athletes and considering most were taken by these girls, it made the girls even more mad. That was a horrible year.. but bullying didn't die down until my ex denied her baby (because she slept with his cousin the same week) and then she called the girls off and told them that i wouldve never hurt a kid because of how much i cherish motherhood. Then sadly she miscarried a month or so later. We rekindled our friendship and i rekindled my relationship with him (I was a complete 15 year old idiot). And then later on they started flirting again but she got mad when she found out he was back with me and ugh it was just awhole mess. I was so dumb at 14/15/16 that thats why i no longer tolerate such bullshit like bullying, fake female friends, and cheating ass boyfriends

whatdoyouwantt · Accepted Answer

I was bullied whole primary and middle school (approx for 13 years). No I do not forgive them ever. For me this people will always be enemies. Whenever I see them (although it’s been years, more like decade since then), if they say hi I might say back then go my way or I might just pretend I didn’t see (even better). It’s over there’s no way they can apologise for that. I was quiet shy girl, did nothing bad to anyone and I was treated like a trash. I did not deserve it, nor anyone else who used/is being bullied.

This_is_my_username · Answer

You look great! I've been bullied before. It was so bad that I preffered to hang out at the library during recess and lunch or breaks because I was too scared to go mingle. Looking back, I should have stood up for myself a lot more! Like you... I was made fun of for body or my skin colour or anything else that I couldn't control... it hurt me a lot know that I think of it and it continues to haunt me sometimes. However, I have learned that it's not my job to carry someone else's shame and ignorance as if it were my own. Clearly, they had problems with themselves and thought about picking on someone else to relieve some anxiety of to feel vindicated for any reason. I suggest ignoring them and moving forward, to forgive them for their ignorance.. not for their sake but for your own sake.. so you can give that part of you that is hurt some relief and time to heal. Sometimes their will be times where you remember something they said, but instead of it brining up bad feelings.. think of all the great things you've accomplished because of their criticism! Think of how miserable they are and how happy you are. That helps

Ammi_goldie806 · Answer

Do I forgive my bully for bullying me I forgive her but I don't forget anything I will forgive somebody but I will never forget what you have done to me. When I was in elementary school this girl named Lauren rings yes I remember her whole name and he traumatized me by putting water cold water on my shirt and laughed at me for no reason she did that and I had a big wet spot on the back of my back and I told my teacher and I don't think she did anything about it. And she always make fun of me talking about I smell bad when I came out from the outside so all of them smell like the outside right so she did that every day at recess when we got done at recess and nobody was there to help me not even my parents. The teachers they didn't help me they just ignored the fact that I was being bullied and mistreated. In Lauren Riggs if you're watching this will not watching but if you read this just know that I forgive you I'm going to be mature about this because I know that we were both stupid kids doing stupid things and being immature is not me even though I never did nothing to you I never said a word to you but I forgive you and I hope you can forgive yourself for doing some stupid things that you did in elementary school.

Tiffany_Taylor_Made · Answer

No, I've never been bullied to the point where it negatively affected me. I've had people attempt to bully me when I was younger, but I always stood my ground. My parents always taught me that if someone steps up to me and tries to intimidate me, show them that you're more intimidating than them. If someone hits me, hit them back even harder and don't let up. Mind you, I definitely wasn't the aggressive type, nor did I get into many fights growing up, but what they taught me came in handy. When I was younger, I had three girls that were sisters that tried to pick on me when we were in gym class in the 5th grade. They were a little bit on the heavy side and I was always fit, even to this day. We had a day where we had to run a mile and do a 50-yard dash for fitness purposes. Out of all the girls, I always had the fastest time. These three sisters, on the other hand, barely even tried and usually came in last place. The problem was that if the gym teachers didn't think you were trying, they would give you a failing grade, while I had among the highest grades in the class. I recall them getting mad at me getting higher grades and coming in first place all the time to the point where they wanted to fight me. Even though it was three of them, I didn't back down from them. (My own friends came over to back me up anyway, but that's not the point). I told them that they weren't going to disrespect me or talk to me any kind of way and they backed off. There were more instances, but I might share those some other time.

Finchie40 · Answer

Sorry to hear you went through that , people that bully are the biggest pieces of shit in the world , usually they are The ones that have the issues and insecurities about themselves , by them picking on others is their way of making them try to feel better about themselves , they are usually trying to seek attention and only really thinking of themselves , I was bullied by a kid when I was younger cuz I liked a girl in my school and he found out that I liked her so he would try to act like he was all cool as show off in front of her Cuz apparently he liked her also , so by picking on me was his way of thinking she would give him attention , He would make comments to embarrass me in front of others and her to have them laugh , I just let it go even though I was hurt inside , until the day he threatened me and told me to give him my shirt , I told him to get the fuck out of my face and he said what did you say? and got up in my face , that was my final straw , I clocked him real hard in the face and said , I SAID TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!! and I beat the living shit out of him in front of everyone and had him balling his eyes out, After That day I started Getting more friends and he never said a word to me again , People like that shouldn’t mean shit to you , they are nobodies , and you don’t need to waste Your energy and time thinking about them. By you walking away is what makes you a stronger person , if a bully ever apologizes to you that’s fine You can forgive them but you will never forget , so just move on they are nobodies.

jshm2 · Answer

Well, first off the past is the past, and you cannot change it regardless of how much you think about it. So don't give it too much time - else you'll waste it, instead of doing better things.

You look ok in the pics, so it may be that they were just looking to pick on you for being weak - rather than outright bully and hurt you. Kids can be shitty sometimes.

As for health, maybe take up martial arts or some sports. Not only will it give you some mental iron, but it could be your way of being stronger in ways you can see.

KneeDragger · Answer

People can be very, very mean! Often they are just being an ass and sometimes they might not realize how horrible they are. I too was bullied after my family moved when I was twelve and I just never fit in after that. It helped shape me to be the person that I am today, so part of me is glad to have experienced the garbage.

Realize you should be happy and healthy, nothing more. Weight is something MOST people struggle with. Eat healthy and workout. If you need help, there are resources for the help. Do things that make you happy. Eating food is enjoyable, there is no arguments there but realize like all things that make us happy, those things/activities need limits. Something I have learned as have gotten older, life is a balance. Even time on the internet should be balanced ; )

Lynx122 · Answer

You don't have to hurry up with forgiving them. Forgiving is more for yourself when you're over it and you accept and love yourself. But you're still young and it's recent so just give yourself space and time maybe talk to people about it. I got bullied too but I just held it all in and pushed everyone away which was not a great way to deal with it but I didn't know better at the time.

TheCunningLinguist · Answer

I'll give you the same advice I gave my daughter. Remember the guys who treated you so poorly and never give them the time of day when they come looking at you differently later. If they treated you like that, they are treating others like that. They only treat you better because now, they want to sleep with you. They didn't get nicer. Teach them that their behavior has lasting consequences. That's the best way to handle them.

Leavesbound · Answer

Yes I was horribly bullied as a kid. Everyone of my bullies is now dead. Three committed suicide, one was murdered in prison, two died of cancer, one died of a heart attack, one died in a car accident and one died on the battlefield. I forgave that last one.

The_Maphio · Answer

It's not a matter of forgiveness. It's a matter of knowing who they are and see how life has been with us.
I had a bully in one of my years in school, yes. I wasn't passive about it, but I couldn't fight him off for fear of getting beaten.
Life now sees me as a successful entrapreneur, with no debts and soon to be father.
The guy in question works in retail and has serious debt to be paid off for taking a useless degree study.
I didn't have to do anything, to show him who's the better man. I also enjoy flaunting my wealth in his face when I go shopping in the store he works at.
Fairly sure it hurts more than what he did back then.

Everglow5 · Answer

Yeah. She left our school, but she's probably coming back next year. She had to home school this year because she has heart problems and covid could kill her. I let her bully me. It gives her something to do with herself. I don't want to make her feel bad, especially since she has heart problems. Plus everyone else loves her, so they'd be mad at me if I said anything. She's probably coming back next year. I'll let her bully me. It doesn't really bother me anymore. I can't not forgive her. I don't exactly have a choice. I just feel bad for her. I take pity on those who don't have anything to do with themselves but hurt other people. They must be hurting really bad on the inside to be like that.

RealMarek · Answer

Try not to be insecure about anything, including your appearance. You have a very nice figure. I was bullied. I forgave the bullies before I was an adult because I realized they were immature and forgiving them was a freeing thing, but the bullying left me feeling insecure about a lot of things for years. On the other hand it gave me a lot of strength that led to some successes.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, I was bullied by somebody who was 3 years older that me in the 9th grade. I don't think he ever graduated from high school so I doubt his life amounted to much. I have tried to find him on line but never could, so either he moved away a long time ago or is dead. Either way I never forgave him and don't know what I would do if I ever saw him again. I;'m thinking a swirly perhaps.

Lionman95 · Answer

Yes I have because I was the worst boy in sports. There was literally no sports I was good or even close to the top ranking. I´ve forgiven them because in retrospective it was looking funny for sure watching me trying to do what everybody else was doing easily.

LeoElias · Answer

I don't think about them at all. I dont really remember their faces. But I remember being bullied for being skinny. I was surprisingly being bullied by fat guys. I was a twig back then. I remember they would ask if I was anorexic and say I need to be put in a hospital. I am not skinny anymore. I am normal now. I was skinny when I was a boy but I filled in once I became a man

Maspolomas · Answer

You don’t need to forgive them. They hurt you you can be mad karma will get them someday. And you did an amazing job on your transformation you look beautiful. Cheer up your young you still have a whole life ahead of you. You will turn out better than them

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

Yea I did. I was anorexic and people would Snapchat my flat ass on Snapchat and post it to their story. I was the joke of the school because my ex boyfriend at the time made me the pit of the joke to everything because he had feelings for me and I broke up with him as a result of my eating disorder taking over. I have forgave them as I didn’t let what they say bother me, but I will not forget.

Dontaaa · Answer

Yes and no.

I will only forgive my bullies if they actually came to me with genuine remorse for their actions.

Other than that, to me forgiving them would be me acting liken it never happened and I don't treat my past as if it never happened.

Paul09 · Answer

Well forgive, but never forget. Would be better to go on your own paths away from each other. Schools are sone of the worst experiences. Kids are horrible, teenager can be worse. I myself experienced bullying because I was different. I protected the bullied also. The best part, à lot of those bullies are now fat and bald. Get through the b. s. School part. It will get better, you'll met more mature people. And forget the bullies ever exsited.

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Answer

You don’t have to forgive anyone. And my advice is ask your parents if you can go to therapy. If someone is cruel to me I never forget , I acknowledge it and process it and I don’t hold on to the poison. But I don’t forgive or forget. It just would allow the person to come back in to my life and cause me more pain. So I cut them off and move on.

Jaysonava · Answer

Oh yes in high school. He sung horrible songs about everyone. I did forgive them quite easily.

But bullies since I have been more horrible to in my reaction.

Maybe I forgave the first bully too easily and just took all my angry out on subsequent bullies. Probably, also, the subsequent bullies were adults, and there's nothing redeeming about adult bullies.

monkeynutts · Answer

It’s cruel, because most people’s parents should be monitoring their children, what food they eat and how much exercise they are getting, I don’t agree with bullying, but simply being attentive, could have helped you maintain a healthy mind and body, but bullies will just do what they do, if it ain’t excess belly fat, they will pick on your acne.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, sadly I was bullied for my weight in school and it left me with mental illnesses and been on medications since age 21 and another thing I had to come home and deal with parents not so much my Mom but my Dad, two times in my life I have lost weight once in school I lost 99 lbs than after graduating gained back plus more and since 3-4 years ago I managed to lose 100 lbs and I want at least lose 50 more lbs but I have to say your attractive young lady and I'm sorry you were bullied :(

msbrightness · Answer

Yes, and... hm - I am happy to forget, not forgive, but atm still have bullying adoptive parents (who keep laying claim to my money, spreading rumours about me and sending dodgy characters as message they will harm me if I don't pay them.
Most people not happily married in fact have someone around them. actively sabotaging their well being. It isn't accidental.

Anonymous · Answer

My girlfriend's father set up a nanny cameras because he thought his wife was cheating while he was away. I was recorded screwing my girlfriend, her older sister and taking the younger underage sister's virginity within the space of a month. His wife wasn't cheating but she does masturbate a lot with a lot of really big toys. Girlfriend hacked into her dad's computer after finding the cameras and found it and broke up with me but I still have it and occasionally jerk off to it espicially to her mother. Best month ever, if there was no cameras I wouldn't have got caught lol

ayomanwya · Answer

I’ve been bullied in middle school and I don’t know where those people are right now but I do forgive them. Other people that I knew since middle school that didn’t bully me until we graduated from high school and went to college is also forgiven

pervertedjester · Answer

The last time I was bullied was in 8th grade and that dude can't walk down the street without getting arrested nowadays. He made a career out of fucking up. Did I forgive him, kinda. I've just got better things to deal with now.

itzzzzniya · Answer

Yes I've been bullied before  I did not forgive them  I mean why would I? They'd probably just end up doing the same thing over and over again  I forgave them once and they just did the same thing  :/

rodeschaap · Answer

I've been bullied by many people. Didn't forgive any of them because they weren't apologizing. If they were to show remorse, then I'd forgive them. Otherwise no. Forgiving someone over hurting you that long and that much isn't something easy.

Andres77 · Answer

The best response to bullies is to ignore them and be the best you possible.

drexel420 · Answer

I'm sorry to hear that hun, you look absolutely gorgeous though 😉 wish I could help more with your self-esteem

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

I’ve never been bullied but I was ignored by the popular crowd as a young teen before I blossomed and got pretty. It really affected me.

zohs345 · Answer

First of all you should never feel insecure because not all people are same so is the fingers in your hand. Second for mental disturbances if you let yourself get hurt only then you’ll be hurt but if not then you won’t

Unbeatable · Answer

I was bullied for being shy, believe it or not. It was difficult for me growing up cause i was so intellectually superior to others that talking to them was like interacting with children. I've always been assertive. You've always been thin and beautiful. We just didn't let them see it.

lolman95 · Answer

Don't need to forgive. Just move on. Life is long. Your mind will take onto different things. I was bullied as well, but the best thing I did was cutting them away from my life.

Philyouup · Answer

forgiveness is hard, but essential From what i can see, you have a nice figure, I hope that helps that someone thinks that. but look with in yourself for things you know are good about you.. Bullies are the scum that grows on Dogshite, so ignore them, know you are beautiful, smart, engaging,,,, Know it, even if you don't feel it.

Coolkat12345 · Answer

Ya it’s cool to forgive bullies but only if they have changed. If you forgive them before they change them they will try to bully you again, but if you know they have changed and aren’t bullies anymore than forgiving them is a good thing to do but only if your CERTAIN they have left there bullying ways.

emilym12345 · Answer

I was bullied in hoghschool. By my childhood best friend who was jealous of me. I forgive them but I also do forget them

skeetskeetskeet · Answer

My dad told me this when i was a kid... wherever you go in life people will fuck with you as long as you let them... the first time someone gets out of line you have to let them know that your not the one

lycanthrope3 · Answer

Forgive them, holding a grudge only hurts you. Forgiving does not mean forgetting.

NoManTwo · Answer

You are beautiful. Don't let any tell you otherwise.

princeofromance · Answer

Yes, I was bullied in grade school. Yes, I did find the strength to forgive them.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I wasn’t fat but I got bullied too. I am still not over it tbf.

Wise4myage · Answer

Fuck that. Focus. your energy on yourself and the hell with them.

Twalli · Answer

Mostly forgave the bullies. Not the people who tortured me. Plus there's no statute of limitation on torture and I haven't pressed charges yet.

JamieLoves · Answer

Yes... I’ll Never forgive anyone for bullying... Fact- They’ll never be sorry that they’ve bullied you...

Ironic_Method · Answer

I was bullied for years for being poor and actually wanting to learn. I developed a bias against men from it.

Though my self esteem was never an issue for me, I'm still angry and bitter from it... but not as much as I was in the past.

Anonymous · Answer

if u ever forgive ur bully then ur the type of person who will continue to get bullied all through out ur life for jus being a pushover.., hell no u dont forgive an ashshole, wtf?

would u also forgive someone who killed ur mum?

Iron_Man · Answer

Not bullied I was tried but since I started swinging On him he backed off

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

I was bullied but I let it happen. When I wanted it to stop, I knocked the kid out and ended it. I don’t have to get an apology; I made them regret it without one.

WhiteWolf69 · Answer

I have been bullied before for long time. I never forgave them to their face. I forgave them though and forgave myself inturn

worldscolide · Answer

Yeah i have been bullied by both boys and girls in school.. I grew up watching them be low life dead beats.. Never forgave them, but took satisfaction at the fact that they are all low value worthless adults..

RachelWhite · Answer

I used to because I had huge boobs in jr high and in high school.

Rina_colada · Answer

Yes I have, and honestly it was 10-15 years ago. I forgive them lol.

Agape93 · Answer

Yeah. And no, I don’t usually forgive anything worse than a minor slight.

loveslongnails · Answer

In order to be bullied, you would have to care about what stupid people say about you. Sure you can forgive them - by just ignoring them.

blondfrog · Answer

Everyone has been picked on before but not everybody has been bullied before if that makes sense.

FakeNIK · Answer

Yes in past, now I don't even care about it

Cypher666 · Answer

My brother bullied me growing up. I got bullied at school, but I ignored them and they stopped

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I've never been bullied I was always the biggest one

Have You Been Bullied Before? Did you forgive them?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Have You Been Bullied Before? Did you forgive them?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.