Why are so many quick to be a harsh critic?

[Alexeiv]

For a good half of questions posted, not just here but all over the vastness of the internet I constantly see mass backlash on the part of people who answer. With a condescending tone and harsh criticism.

Life experience has taught me a good chunk of people lie and talk behind others backs, do illegal or questionable things and are outright hypocrites.

Yet so many step up to appear righteous.

To my actual situation, every time I bring up that I'm helping my girlfriend lose weight I hear people saying " You should love her for who she is " and " don't try to change her ".

It's my girlfriend, we both love each other and I'm more caring and reliable than 90% of boyfriends out there, don't believe me? Try me.

Yet people judge me on my actions and my ideas and call me a " jerk " or " prick ", etc.

I tell them to go lick a toilet and I even say it in the nicest way possible.

I guess I'm rambling as it's late but it agitates me to no end.

[Anonymous]

I guess my answer is sort of a combination of Eugene's and Shaun's.

When someone posts a question, all we have to go on is the information that they've provided us. We don't know all the details (has the person left any important information out?), and we recognize that we're getting one side of the story (the other side could paint a completely different picture). We don't know any of the people involved personally, so we don't know what they're like or what they're thinking.

And I support harsh, blunt answers in some cases. I think that a lot of people on this site sugarcoat answers or give PC answers. But sometimes I think that people need to be told, "You're acting like a bitch," "Stop being immature." "The way you behaved wasn't justifiable." etc.

Keep in mind too, that a lot of people give very emotionally-driven responses and their responses come from their personal bias. If someone were to write a question saying, "I was at a party and was really drunk, and I cheated on my girlfriend. How do I make things right?" That person might really regret what they did and is genuinely looking for help, but they're likely to get a lot of angry responses, since a lot of people see cheating as inexcusable and it makes them even more angry when people try to use being drunk as an excuse for their behavior .

In terms of your situation, I think people bring a lot of bias into their answers when it comes to weight loss, especially women. Weight is usually a pretty sensitive issue. A lot of women have had boyfriends/husbands who had a problem with their weight and went about it very insensitively (or have had friends in that position). There are also guys on GAG who post questions talking about how gross they think their girlfriend is because she gained weight and ask if they should dump her or how they can make her lose weight, or they'll ask questions like, "How can I tell my girlfriend that she's fat?" I think since weight gain is something that most girls worry about, they're also able to empathize with women in this position, even if they've never been in it themselves.

On the other hand, there are genuinely good guys who want to help their girlfriend lose weight. Guys who are worried about their girlfriend's health and/or self-esteem. Or sometimes the girlfriend has asked for their help. They love their girlfriend no matter what her weight, but they want her to be healthy and happy. They do supportive things like help shop for and cook healthy meals, work out with their girlfriend, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think most people on here and over the internet are too immature to be able to understand what kind of relationship you two have: an open and honest one. I find that a lot of people here like to sugarcoat answers and are extremely naive. You obviously care that your girlfriend is healthy and that's a million times better than letting her die from being too fat.

That's why I like being anonymous and being able to be blunt without any retribution from it.

[Eugene]

Point is that since we can't see OP's relationship IRL to judge, we can only rely on text person provided.

If I know someone IRL and I know something about their relations, that's one thing.

Completely different is when someone shows up and asks "oi, I just got gangbanged on a party, but I have a boyfriend for 2 years, am I a whore?". What did you expect? An answer like "no, girl, that's fine, your vag wants some adventures, it's your guy's fault he can't entertain you enough"?

[Shaun]

I think a lot of women can relate to the experience of the man in their life 'helping' them lose weight and they don't look back on him or that time fondly.

So maybe they don't take what you're saying at face value.