Why did they call me overweight?

[artsy_dragon]

*Trigger warning this post contains eating disorders*
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My family and I don't keep in contact as they live all across the world. The family that live in the same country as me aren't the most helpful or kindest people.

I have an eating disorder so I either ate too much or stop eating, for example yesterday I hadn't eaten all day and I had passed out. All the people (who I talk to on my mum's side) are all thin. My younger sister who is a teenager she shares clothes with my aunt, my mum and my other sister.

They all have recently lost loads of weight. Doing 3 days of fasting or doing the other thing that's binging and then exercising. I've recently gone back on the pill and I am feeling heavier and more bloated than usual.

They know about my eating disorder but are not prepared to help. They are strict Christians and say "Jesus will heal you" and I am saying no I need a helpful support system to get better.

They made a comment a few days ago when we went out to dinner (which I often don't do) and then they laughed at me when I got a salad.

Also Christmas is coming up soon and I am dreading it. Should I stop speaking to them for a while? I feel like I am getting worse around them and they can't stop making comments about my weight or my food habits.

Updates

1 y

Thanks everyone for their kind and encouraging words!

[Rosexøxø]

Yes yes yes yes. Separate yourself from toxic behavior, like that!

Sis.. if I could hug you right now, I would. Ugh, I would absolutely let my emotion get the best of me, if they laughed at me, and made some comments.

Before I even talk about anything else- do you know weight is meant to •fluctuate•?

Not even their weight stands still..

I would’ve said something to them like-

“do you all know, there are women lighter than you in weight? And a lot who are actually more muscular? They actually DO something with their nutrients? Impressive stuff? Far more impressive than you all making a strict schedule, all for your diet, and seeing it as some reason to receive an award? No, it’s expected to have control of your diet, and you all make it seem like it should be rewarded. I personally know I’m not always dedicated to my diet, but at least I’m not so absorbed in this “schedule ,” instead of just eating for general health, and doing something WITH my health. I can *admit,* I don’t live with the best diet, but at least I’m far less delusional than you.”

I literally would have said that, if they were my family, and I was placed into that position.

That is the truth sis: weight does fluctuate, from the athletes, to the ones with food addiction, to chefs, to food critics, to third-world starving people, to people with eating disorders, to pregnant mothers with food cravings, to women during their menstruation period, and their cravings… all the way to the fat guy at baseball games with beer guts/ dad bods/ and their cravings!

Beer and soda crackers, and whatever! 🤣

Lol out in the wild wolves and other pack animals who eat together NEVERRER attack or sneer at the other ones, for what they consume or their portion of the meal. 🐺 🦁

You just don’t do that. 🙅‍♀️

So in our own lives, as short as it is here, why the fuck should you and me, and anybody else ever give a flying fook, about what others say to us.. about OUR meal. No- just no. 🙆‍♀️ To be judged on anything is laughable, since no person is perfect, but to judge the food? Oh give me a break, they must be certainly bored, and clearly still searching the “meaning to life,” if they believe in Jesus, or are even unsure at this point.

Have I over eaten? Yes. Guilty as charged 💁‍♀️ And I’ve missed two meals before, due to “one of those days,” in the past.

But the over eating- Is everyone guilty of this? Yes. It’s why they call it ‘guilty pleasures.’ Holidays/ birthdays and it’s birthday cake. The absolute works!

Do I think the U. S. in general, from rich to poor, has poor quality self-control and moderation in what we eat? Yes, I’m waving my hand- 🙋‍♀️ I’m also in those statistics, so we can just be honest about it, and not live in denial..

And not be hard on ourselves. We don’t gain 70,000 pounds in one day ☝️ from a chocolate cake.. So that won’t hurt, and no reason to guilt over it lol don’t try to sweat the calories off of yourself, from worrying it may put you over 😂 I’ve done that- and it doesn’t work lol

But we can simply try to adjust what we eat. Consider a food coach. A life coach. A gym trainer. A psychiatrist (to help recommend better ways to cope). We’ve all eaten because of boredom or anger, or pain. Maybe it’s our survival instinct- when those emotions “attack us;” we feel the need to eat to survive and to feel loved, and like everything will be okay, but trust: that won’t make the problems go away. The power is not in the cake or salad, or just the weights at the gym- the power is in YOU. Here: 🧠 and here: ♥️

Simply do what you need. You know what your body needs, and the other half of the time, your body knows what you need: water, rest, sunshine; etc.

I think you even know what’s best because you suggested this- not any of us, but separating yourself from that toxic environment is going to seriously, do you a favor. It cuts down any possible stress eating, in HALF. 🙅‍♀️

It’s not “running away,” it’s being ‘tactical.’ The things we do in threatening environments, is to remove the threat, or remove ourself from the threat. You can’t control where your family goes, sure, but you definitely have a say in where you go, and I hope from here on out, you’ll not only give yourself the needed space to thrive, but focus more on loving yourself- going out on special occasions, to where YOU want to go, and enjoy the best out of this life, because for now, it’s all we have. It won’t be here forever.

I may mention something else. If you want me to clarify, I’ll dm you, otherwise it’s too long of a comment here, and it’s just my theory, anyways. I need to put it into practice again. It was working for me before, though. When I had cared/ was more intentional about my eating habits/styles.

Despite my extra theory, and the truth I discussed here, I just want to remind you: this problem you may have faced is not something unprecedented…

Unfortunately, many people have faced the symptoms of these scenarios. They’ve faced it.. and OVERCAME it, as a part of human resolution. 💪

My final word? I’m proud of you, for not letting them do any kind of damage to your overall health (physical/ mental), and showing that you care for yourself, so much so, to question their behavior (s). When it’s between their welfare and yours, you chose your own. They should’ve been looking out for you, and I’m glad you’re coming around to defend yourself and your future. 🙏 You matter sis. You matter so much. ✨

I hope nothing in my comment annoys you, and you absolutely live it up. Whatever you decide- make it you, and make it fun.

*sending virtual hugs* 🫂😊

[artsy_dragon]

Thank you so much and no it didn't make me upset 🤗

[dustybiker]

Any comments made are either intended to be helpful, but will never be. You just can’t get to the point without offending a person. Or comments are made out of a persons own personal issues.

Only you know who you are and what you’ve been through. Ignore the comments of others.

[Rosexøxø]

That’s a good point. I think it helps if we all remind ourselves of this. Family hurts sometimes. Either work through those roadblocks, understand what they’re *trying * to say/convey, or move yourself to a better environment with a support system that will help you thrive. I mean your comment is just on the money. So good 👌

This helps even me 🤜🤛

[dustybiker]

@Rosexøxø 😎 I’m glad I could help you.

[TheSpaceGnome]

How much do you actually weight?

Advice is either enjoy your salad and ignore them, or go eat a pizza and ignore them.

Eat when you are hungry, and stop starving yourself or I'm putting you in the castle's moat and feeding you pizza. :P

Please take care of yourself.

[artsy_dragon]

14.9 stone and that was in June, I feel like I've lost some weight but haven't weighed myself since then. And thanks :)

[TheSpaceGnome]

How tall are you? of you are under 6 feet its overweight, but if you starve yourself your metabolism will slow down to compensate, and it will make losing the weight harder, so i still say eat when hungry, but focus on low carb stuff like lots of veggies and lean meats, the weight will burn off in no time and you won't feel hungry. Glad to hear thats already a thing though, ignore your family in the meantime.

[artsy_dragon]

I'm over weight then yay and thanks:)

[TheSpaceGnome]

Eh, it happens, it's not like it can't be reversed, and you're welcome.

[artsy_dragon]

Am I fat?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I should mention though that being a guy, I have an easier time figuring out my bmi.

I don't know how much your boobs weight, but subtract them from your overall weight when reaching a goal of what would be about 9.5 o 10 stone. ... if your boobs weight 4 or 5 stone you are not overweight, but I really doubt thats the case 😅

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also being American, I had to use a stone to pounds converter for this, you use such lower numbers (4 stone is 56 pounds), that my brain is rendering you as a gerbil sized person and its weird 😐

[TheSpaceGnome]

As for you being fat or just mildly chubby, I wouldn't be able to guess, because I dunno how much fat is deposited where.

[Rosexøxø]

This was so well said and concise bro. Seriously, well done 🤜🤛

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Rosexøxø Thanks Rose, I try.

[Rosexøxø]

@TheSpaceGnome Yup! it was spot on. On the money. 😎🤜🤛

@artsy_dragon , you have a lot of good advice here, to choose from. In this section, and right here in this comment. I’m hopeful for you sis. Shoot- I’m even hopeful for me this holiday season 🤣

Y’all stay chill, okay? 😂👌

[Part2603]

Yes. 14.9 stone is 208.6 lbs

[Anonymous]

Some people believe that insulting someone about their appearance will motivate the person to work harder to lose weight.

Which all it does is make them depressed and give up. I know you love your family, and I am sure they don't hate you, but fuck them.

[Rosexøxø]

Lmao this needs to be a Chinese proverb or something.

Well said 🤜🤛

[TheSpaceGnome]

Agreed.

[msc545]

Stay away from them - they are not helping at all and are being abusive to you as well.

[Rosexøxø]

That’s definitely a step. Clear advice. Good stuff 🤜🤛