How do you change your core beliefs?(without a therapist)?

[Anonymous]

[burlen]

Changing core beliefs is a complex process that often requires a significant amount of self-reflection, exploration, and effort. Here are some steps that can help with changing core beliefs:

1. Identify your core beliefs: Take some time to reflect on the beliefs that underlie your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Write them down and consider their origin and why you hold these beliefs.

2. Challenge your beliefs: Once you have identified your core beliefs, it's important to question them. Are they based on evidence or personal experience? Are they still relevant or serving you in a positive way? Try to look at your beliefs from different perspectives and consider alternative viewpoints.

3. Gather new information: Seek out new information, experiences, and perspectives that may challenge your beliefs. Read books, talk to people, and expose yourself to new ideas and cultures. This can help you gain a broader understanding of the world and challenge your previously held beliefs.

4. Practice self-compassion: Changing deeply held beliefs can be difficult and emotional. Be kind to yourself and recognize that this process takes time. Remember that it's okay to make mistakes and that the process of changing beliefs is a journey.

5. Repeat the process: Changing core beliefs is an ongoing process that requires time and persistence. Repeat these steps on a regular basis, and be open to the possibility that your beliefs may change over time.

It's important to remember that changing core beliefs is a personal journey and may not happen overnight. However, with time and effort, it is possible to shift your perspective and adopt new beliefs that better serve you.

[CheeseMonster]

Deconstruct it. If a core belief is that people can't be trusted (for example) and that's causing stress in your life, you can take it apart. Why can't people be trusted? Give the reasons. Why are those reasons not to trust people? Explain. Can I use the same type of reasoning to support something I don't believe (counter example), can the belief be false even if the supporting reasons are true (counter example), or is this really a good argument for my belief?

If it's not a good argument to support the core belief, then move down to what it can support. Maybe you can't reasonably believe "people can't be trusted," but "people shouldn't be trusted blindly" is more reasonable, and may cause less stress to live by. Or, if it really is a good argument for the core belief, then you can try thinking about it in pieces rather than the core belief itself. Instead of "people can't be trusted," bringing a smaller, supporting peice like "sometimes people lie" to mind in a situation could cause less stress because it's not as serious or negative of a statement.

[Agape93]

Have a life event that breaks your worldview beyons reconciliation.

[Asker]

Please elaborate that doesn't make sense to me

[Agape93]

Ok for example, say a core belief of yours is that family can always be trusted to help you and protect you. A life event that would shatter such a viewpoint, would be your father sexually assaulting you. As a result, your view would change.

[Asker]

A core belief is that i am not good enough, I am ugly how do I change that

[Agape93]

No idea honestly, aside from change of perspectives, but that's not something I can help with

[Agape93]

@PrettyPriya

[PrettyPriya]

Hiya! What's up? 🙂

[Agape93]

She needs assistance with something I'm not capable of understanding properly

[PrettyPriya]

@Agape93 Got it! @asker what are the core beliefs you want to change and why?

[Asker]

@PrettyPriya that I am not good enough. I want to change it because its hindering me. I care too much about being 'beautiful' and comparing myself to people. I'm fixated on it

[PrettyPriya]

Sorry for the late reply. Why in the world would you think you are not good enough? I can give you some tips if you would like. You can pick and choose which might be beneficial.

Do you find that you are self conscious about looks? Is it something specific? I know we can be hard on ourselves.

[Asker]

@PrettyPriya my sister was and is always the pretty one. I've made myself pretty but I will always compare myself to her. Guys do like me but I reject them before they reject me its a vicious cycle always wanted approval from parents. They vocalised my sister was pretty but nothing about my looks. I had severe acne as a teen and still have pitted scars I would say they are moderate. I got a nose job and still feel like it could be smaller. I have a great body but its not enough. I just never feel enough

[PrettyPriya]

It sounds to me like this is a lack of confidence that has built over the years from a number of areas in your life. That is tough to overcome. How you perceive yourself is what is important.

I see some light there because of what you said: "I've made myself pretty" and "I have a great body". So, you can clearly admit that you do have things going for you. It is the negatives that follow you need to erase.

First thing is first. You need to create some reasonable goals to help lift you up. A couple examples would be to open up to a date from these guys that like you. Just allow yourself to be vulnerable to see that it is not always going to be bad. Once you get past that guys are not going to reject you, the better you will feel.

Set aside some time to pamper yourself too. Go get a massage or go to the solan and mix things up with your look if you want. If you don't want to go so far as hair and such, promise yourself you will go on a mini shopping spree to buy some new things that make you feel fabulous.

Anything that makes you feel better about yourself will help. It will be baby steps at first. You almost have to retrain yourself that you ARE a beautiful woman and people see that in you. You just have to allow them to show you.

[TheVigilantFox]

Lose someone you really love that shit changes everything.

[Asker]

I did when I was 14. My life got worse after that

[TheVigilantFox]

Oh, 😬 I’m sorry to hear that.

I lost my Nan and it changed everything that’s why I said it.

[abc3643]

@asker
"My life got worse after that"

Around the time you were born, there was a Calvin & Hobbes comic with this line, more or less:
"The funny thing about life is that things are never so bad that they can't get worse."

This is why Murphy's Law and the Aesop Fable "The Ant and the Grasshopper" should be required reading in every grade of school each year.

www.kids-pages.com/.../page1.htm

[abc3643]

You attend The School of Hard Knocks.

[Asker]

What's that

[Jamie05rhs]

Watch Russian propaganda.

[Keishio]

Electroshock thetherapy