How to change my mindset?

Question

I am always at odds within myself in situations like this, which I am going to describe. There is this girl I have plans to hang out with. It is her birthday this particular instance, and I do think she is gorgeous. The key thing is we are just friends, but if something develops I wouldn't say no. Whenever I do hangout with a girl, I tend to want to pay and so forth (yet it is not a "date"). On the other part of me I don't want to be a "sucker" (yes I watch too much "Red Pill stuff."). In this particular case, even though I was asked to come along; I wouldn't mind paying since it is her special day. Do something to make it at least special. The other part of me is like, why are doing this especially when it is not going to end in a relationship or something of that nature. How do I stop looking at things like this, but not be naïve to human nature?

Oliverlogan263 · Answer

Bro I feel you on this. It's always tough figuring out how to balance being a gentleman without being a "sucker." But that red pill stuff is really toxic man, I'd stay away from that.

Here's what I'd do - go into it with an open mind and just focus on having a good time with her as a friend. If y'all vibe and something could happen, great. But don't go in expecting anything or feeling owed.

I'd offer to pay as a gift since it's her bday, but give her the option to split it too so she doesn't feel obliged. Trust me, girls can sense when you're only trying to get something out of it. Just show you care as a friend.

Flow with what feels natural in the moment. If you're chilling and having fun, keep that energy. But don't get too invested either. Either way you've got a good hang with a cool chick. Can't lose dude! Just be real and don't overthink stuff. You got this man.

How to change my mindset?

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