For some context, I do this more so when I am severely depressed, weather is tolerable enough and I can't seem to sleep or relax.
I have plenty of friends but none that I feel close enough to confide in. Therapy feels like running in cycles sometimes. Despite medicine being a passion of mine, it doesn't change the fact that it's incredibly difficult to manage at school. My part time work is not too bad but it doesn't 'give me life'. The more independent i've become, the lonelier it's gotten but I craved for this peace so i'm conflicted.
I want to get a dog so bad but I fear being too depressed to care for it if I ever had a really bad low. But this is the closest thing to something that could 'give me life'- a reason to keep going everyday you know? I am a nurturer at heart and would thrive off wanting the best for it. I would love to have a mini non-verbal companion
There's days where I get overwhelmned in the night and I grab my longboard and go cruising. I know this is kinda dumb, but if it's earlier like 11pm or 4am, i'll put in an earbud and just go wherever the evening/morning takes me. It's usually pretty quiet out and I love how pretty the moon looks.
It's risky because I am f22 and live in a city with a pretty high crime rate. Personally, I haven't fallen victim to anything crazy yet but I feel that the more I keep doing this, the more my odds are of running into a deadly situation.
I am red belt in taekwondo so I feel self assured but in a street fight, weapons could likely be drawn. No amount of training could ever make me block a blade or dodge bullets. Real life is sadly much scarier than the movies make it out to be
Is anyone else in a similar situation? I am open to opinions from all
