What is anxiety exactly?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I've heard a lot about anxiety and I am not sure if I've ever had it if it's supposed to be something that feels bad. I do notice when I do something exciting like riding a rollercoaster, performing in front a large audience, public speaking, going on a first date, or job interview that I get a sort of wonderful adrenaline rush.

My heart rate might increase and I get really excited and start pacing around getting all hyped up. Yet I love that feeling! I'm addicted to it as an adrenaline junkie, so I don't understand if that counts as anxiety if it's something that feels wonderful. I actually seek out that feeling as much as I can and start to miss it and work towards depression if I don't have it in a long time.

Is that anxiety? The way it is described sounds like it's something that makes people feel bad. I do understand depression and can be prone to it where I'm so lacking in motivation and just want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing at all while thinking negatively and feeling very bad. That's awful and the worst misery to me. Yet I don't understand anxiety if it's supposed to be a bad feeling.

Updates

+1 y

I have noticed watching other people and also films without possibly feeling it for myself what anxiety looks like. They seem to do similar things as me like pace around except they seem to be getting stressed and discouraged whereas I get excited and encouraged. So I'm not sure if they are having the same feeling as me since theirs looks bad and seems to make them frown while mine makes me happy and smile.

The only thing I think that I felt inside and made me act similar [...]

Updates

+1 y

[...] was when I quit smoking cigarettes long ago. I got the worst withdrawal symptoms where I was pacing around feeling extremely stressed and bad, not good like before performing on stage, able to think about nothing but cigarettes. That was awful and made me feel bad and irritable. That's the only thing I've experienced that seems like anxiety but actually felt bad instead of wonderful.

[IceCreamSandwich]

Anxiety is fear. It can have similar effects to excitement, and some people can trick themselves into becoming excited instead by just saying they are excited when they're actually anxious, because they are very similar. That doesn't work for everyone or all the time though. You may get excited before doing something you want to do, even if doing it may be difficult. Anxiety usually happens before doing something you do not want to do, even if doing it may be easy.

Like many people, I get anxious about dentist visits. Even if it's just a regular cleaning, and I know I don't have to do almost anything except hold still. That whole day from waking up until I get home after the appointment it feels like I'm about to fall off a cliff. That scary dropping feeling and wanting to just freeze and back away—but there's nothing to back away from. There's no cliff I'm just sitting in a chair. There's no danger, but the feeling won't go away.

In a situation like hiking where you may actually be near a cliff's edge, anxiety like that can be good and helpful. It can keep you from doing something dumb like going too close to the edge, and give you faster reaction time and more strength to back up or grab onto something if you do manage to get too close and slip. In a situation where there is not actual danger however, anxiety is not helpful. It just makes it harder to do what you may really need to, like sit down and hold still.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

For some reason, I really love dentist appointments. Also getting injections at the doctor is something I really enjoy a lot which seems to be weird since lots of people seem to hate it. I do hate waking up early in the morning though if the appointment is early in the morning.

I might actually have a problem with this part.
>> It can keep you from doing something dumb like going too close to the edge [...]

I think I lack that type of anxiety in this situation. I do try to avoid it since I prefer not to die or get injured really badly. I just don't seem to get anxiety in these types of situations.

For example, I have two sets of scars on the side of my face trying to hug vicious dogs as a boy. The first time I got taken to the hospital and I think most people think, "I shouldn't hug vicious dogs again." But for me I wanted to do it more after since knowing I could get bitten made it more exciting and interesting, so it happened a second time, then my parents ended up having to be strict and keep me away from vicious dogs. Yet I still wanted to hug them.

Also I got banned from this course called Project Adventure since we were supposed to put on a harness for the tightrope walk. But I didn't see the point of overcoming the challenge if there wasn't a genuine risk of injury. So I did it without the safety harness but that nearly gave the teacher a heart attack and I got kicked out of the class.

I am getting older now though and married so I realize these things are stupid and I try not to be reckless. But I don't think I have the anxiety in most situations to help prevent me from doing these things.

[IceCreamSandwich]

Not everybody gets anxiety in the same ways. Myself I deal with it a lot more than the average person, and it does cause some problems in my work and personal life, but it's not so extreme that I can't function. You seem to be on the other end of the spectrum, even so much that it causes similar problems in your life despite the feeling itself not feeling bad. To be honest I hadn't considered that possibility before. It sounds strange to me, but I guess it's just two sides of the same coin.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Cheers! One thing that I was thinking about is that multiple people mentioned worrying about something as a trigger for anxiety. That might be one of the key ways where I seem to differ.

I definitely do worry about things from time to time, like worried about growing feeble, senile, worried my loved ones might pass away, things of this nature. Yet my bodily response typically when I'm worried about the worst-case scenarios is that I shut down rather than get energized. I get tired and don't want to do anything and just sit down or lie down all day. I start to mope about rather than pace about all excited.

When I'm pacing about something feeling very excited, I think the reason it's generally a good feeling for me is that I'm at least not consciously worried about what will happen. I'm instead of looking forward to finding out. The exception is that one time when I was suffering nicotine withdrawal; I still wasn't consciously worried about anything if I recall but I just couldn't think about anything but how much I wanted a cigarette.

[IceCreamSandwich]

Oh yes, worry can go one of two ways usually: anxiety or depression. You seem to get depressed by worries, which is its whole own thing with its own problems. I used to have both, but very luckily I don't deal with depression much anymore. I do get tired after extended or intense periods of anxiety, but that's just that: tired. My brain gets foggy, my muscles get sore / shaky, and I have to slow down, maybe eat and drink something, and calm down before I can keep going. I've also been lucky not to have any addictions, and I think that's its own thing too—although it definitely can cause both anxiety and depression in the short-term.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm starting to think it might be the case that I'm just so skewed towards the depression side of the spectrum between depression vs. anxiety. That might be why anxiety as a negative and troubling feeling is so alien to me to the point where whatever approximation of anxiety I can feel often seems like the cure for my tendencies towards depression.

Since my tendency when I'm in a bad state is to start shutting down like a zombie, doing something very risky and thrilling tends to be what jolts me back into living. That's also a general incompatibility I have to negotiate with my wife and friends for vacations, as their idea of a vacation is more often like sunbathing at a beach whereas mine is like bungee jumping. I don't get stress relief just lying down all day; that's actually what I already do when I'm most stressed out. So stress relief for me is the opposite and doing something very active or thrilling.

I'm unfortunately very inclined towards addictions. Lost over $11,000 USD one time at a casino gambling in my 20s (decided gambling wasn't for me after that night). Also I'm the worst-case I've ever met among anyone of a case where, the moment any alcohol touches my lips, I can't stop partying all night long until I literally pass out. Alcohol seems to act like a stimulant more powerful than Red Bull rather than a depressant to my peculiar mind/body; it fills me with energy and zaps me into consciousness. I think that's why it's so addictive for me and why I desperately needed to quit (just did so last year).

Anyway, it was very enlightening talking to everyone about this! Thanks very much. The notion of anxiety as an unpleasant feeling is still quite alien to me, but some things are at least making more sense to me now.

[AngryCarl]

It's an autonomic "fight or flight" response. Your body is geared up for extreme activity, even though that might be inappropriate for the situation.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Is it a bad feeling? Like I'm into rollercoasters and bungee jumping and extreme sports and that sort of fight or flight response I seem to get before is the best feeling for me. I crave it as much as possible. I start to feel dead inside if I don't have it now and then.

[AngryCarl]

It's a bad feeling if you get it the minute you walk into the office, yeah.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I see; but does it feel bad even if it's inappropriate for the situation? I usually need a little bit more than walking into an office to feel excited this way although I sometimes get it if I go to a party or meeting friends I haven't seen in a long time.

[AngryCarl]

It's not bad if it's appropriate. To get a clinical diagnosis of anxiety the response needs to be inappropriate and persistent.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Something that might be really off about me is that the fight or flight response itself might be something extremely pleasurable to me. It's something I noticed when I was in Sendai at the Fukushima earthquake. My wife pointed out and thought it's so weird while everyone was panicking and screaming that I was so happy and enjoying myself. Of course I would get upset and serious if someone got hurt, especially someone I care about. But short of that I really enjoy this feeling.

[AngryCarl]

@GuyAnswersGirls123 You are what psychologists call a "sensation seeker". You have a very high threshold for fear and find regular activities boring. You are drawn to dangerous sports to experience the adrenaline rush.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Wow, thank you! I am reading up just a basic Wiki article on it and it seems to fit me perfectly including a lot of my worst vices like a tendency towards drug abuse, gambling, extremely aggressive music (very calm music actually stresses me out). Might even explain why I can't enjoy things designed to relax people like massages. Also describes my occupational preference as a researcher and my severe susceptibility to boredom.

[AngryCarl]

Thanks for MHO!

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Cheers! 🤝That was extremely insightful to me learning about the "sensation seeker". Still learning it more in depth but it really seems to fit better than anything I've encountered including my most embarrassing bad habits (still working on overcoming them).

[7Phoenix7]

You get excited and a nice adrenaline rush, and others with anxiety feel nervous and afraid.

Anxiety I would say is more based on fear... like the feeling you might get if you were actually thinking you were about to die. Some deal with anxiety disorder though, where they deal with this flight or fight response on the daily, which sucks.

So what you experienced with the withdrawal symptoms would be considered anxiety to me.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

That makes sense to me. One thing that clicked with me is that feeling about thinking I was about to die.

I think there have only been two times in my life where I thought that way. The first time I'm not sure if I enjoyed it or didn't since I had to react so quickly (involved falling down Mt. Fuji) and I got seriously concussed and dazed after. I didn't like the injuries I got but I can't decide whether I liked or disliked thinking this could be my final moment.

The second time I definitely disliked it. I actually even hated it. But that one involved being injured so badly that I wasn't sure if I was going to make it alive. So I was hurting really bad from broken arms and jaw and ribs and hands. Then I really thought it wasn't just a chance that this could be my final moment but really thought it would be and I hated that. Thankfully the police and ambulance arrived and saved the day for me at the last moment but I definitely didn't like that.

[7Phoenix7]

The time you were injured really bad and thought you might not make it, were you afraid, highly stressed/worried?

I remember my first time trying Marijuana, I had a full blown anxiety attack. My heart was racing, I felt like I didn't have enough air to breathe... and this overwhelming feeling of doom, like I was gonna die. But that's like the higher level of anxiety.

Lower levels of anxiety would be like when I realized my ex was having delusions/hallucinations and developing a severe mental illness. Scared the crap out of me because it felt like he was dying in a way... and I couldn't do anything about it. He wasn't himself and I couldn't get him to see that what he was experiencing was not real. So that gave me tremendous amount of fear... worry and anxiety.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

That might have been the one time I was genuinely afraid for my life. It's embarrassing but I even started crying since I didn't feel ready to die yet. It was a really horrible gang beating that I took outside a nightclub in my 20s. I kept trying to block their kicks but then my fingers began to break and then my arms broke and I was in too much pain to block anymore and started to give up.

I've always been an adrenaline junkie and addicted to dangerous and risky situations and never felt fear of danger in the bad sort of way that seems to discourage people. I always felt it in a good way like it's a great feeling. But that one time during the gang beating, I felt genuinely afraid in a bad way. Or maybe just genuinely afraid if being afraid is supposed to be a bad feeling and not a good one.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm not sure if it was the fear that felt bad though. I just felt this overwhelming sense of cruelty and hatred from the gang. Like I've been in fights and beaten up before but most people are civilized enough to stop beating me after I'm down. That gang didn't stop at all. So I think I was also overwhelmed by how mean and cruel they were.

[7Phoenix7]

Wow, that is horrible! Sorry that happened! That would definitely bring out a ton of anxiety for most people.

But it seems like you don't really fear much lol Which is not a bad thing. I'd love it if I didn't have to feel so much anxiety. I'd feel lucky. But yes, being afraid doesn't feel good at all... haha. at least for me.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I can't tell so much if I'm relatively lacking in fear or enjoy it. It's confusing to me. I think everything would just make so much sense if I could borrow someone's mind for a bit and see how it feels like for them. In my case though, I am at a level where it's working sometimes towards a serious dysfunction and defect.

Actually I described some of my tendencies and experiences before and someone suggested I might have Borderline Personality Disorder. I looked it up and at least some of it clicks with me.

[7Phoenix7]

Hmmm, that's interesting.

Yeah I mean, I can't tell either 😂 whether you are lacking fear or just enjoy the feeling. I don't know too much about borderline personality disorder. I'll Google it later. You ever thought about getting tested?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I might have to try at some point, maybe next time I go to the US! Psychotherapy isn't really popular in Japan. The main things that strike me about BPD is impulsivity and risk-taking. The others symptoms kind of seem to miss. I think I got most of the worse under control now just studying about Stoicism, Buddhism, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Logotherapy and learning to train my mind to think in new ways. Yet the love of thrills remains.

[FunkyMonkee]

It just means that you're anxious about an event that's coming up in the near future or one that you didn't know was going to happen until it does.

[FunkyMonkee]

It means, you've got angst in your pangst.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I see! I can understand unpleasant feelings sometimes in those cases prior to the event, like when I have to go on a overseas business trip. For the week or so in advance I get stressed out thinking about the airplane trip and having to check in the hotel and all that.

Usually when I'm in the airport though, I get all hyped up and feel good and energized. It's just the moments before I'm at the airport that make me kind of stressed out and want to just stay in bed and wish I didn't have to go on the trip.

[FunkyMonkee]

I get that way when I start a new job,

[Paris13]

I Got That When My Partner Again as of Now, Was Split Up from Me For I Had Broken It Off. My Body Just Felt Uncomfortable in It Skin at Night Often. xxoo

[Wise4myage]

Intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired may occur.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I see! The worrying part I could understand as a bad feeling. I hate it when I'm worried about something. I think the way I respond to worry though is that I end up procrastinating and wanting to lie down all day. I get the opposite physical reaction where I get lethargic, not excited.

[MemeSupreme]

it's like fear or dread that stresses you out