Should I keep saving money for the future and live with my parents or move out?

[Anonymous]

After I broke up with my last girlfriend almost two years ago I moved back with my parents to save money so that I can pay my university deb because that worries me (I know I should’ve never gone to university and should have had an average job and try to find another way to make money, but I hold myself accountable for that mistake). The problem is that both have mental health issues and they have a negative impact on me. My mom is always anxious and takes antidepressants and my dad is an alcoholic who is always irritated. They are genuinely good people and living with them makes my life so much easier, but I feel that it stunts my development. I’m a bit anxious and depressed myself because of my genetics and upbringing, since most people in my family take antidepressants or are in mental health hospitals. But when I’m far away from them I think I have a chance of becoming the mentally stable man I want to be. But worrying about my university debt keeps me closer to my family.

[Oliverlogan263]

Bro that's a really tough situation. On one hand, living at home definitely makes financial sense and will help you pay down that uni debt quicker. But it sounds like being around your parents' issues is negatively impacting your own mental health.

A couple thoughts - is there any middle ground, like could you find a cheap apartment to share with some friends nearby still? That way you save on rent but get some space from your family.

Also, have you talked to your parents openly about how their behaviors make you feel? Maybe they'd be open to some family counseling or individual therapy to improve the home environment.

Ultimately you need to prioritize your own well-being too. Debt sucks, but so does being miserable for years on end. Is there any way to reduce university costs, like transfer credits or bursaries you could apply for?

Don't be too hard on yourself about past choices either. We all learn. Focus on your future. Maybe take some small steps to separate yourself more in the meantime to see how it affects your mood before fully moving out. Your mental health is worth investing in too.

[Amy10223]

This is hard. I know what it is to deal with a mentally ill person ( my Dad was). If this is not good for you yourself, I would not stay in their house. You might want to be close to them to keep tabs on them--but I would try to find a room to rent, or another friend to rent out a place of your own. Many people are always looking for boarders to live in their homes for long periods of time. You can also find a cheap apartment somewhere by scouting around and doing research.

But moving back in with parents who as you say, are not good for your development as a grown man, would do more harm than good.

Good luck with all.

[Anonymous]

Only YOU can answer this. If you had a good relationship with your parents I'd say yeah. But it sounds like they got some problems.

[Asker]

Our relationship is good. But they are mentally ill. I am too