Can't shake the big girl in my head?

[Anonymous]

Ok so, I'm in my early 40's and for the past 14+ years I've been a fat girl (around 215 at 5'3") (sorry if my words offend). Recently dropped 53 pounds - with 20 - 25 left to loose. I hit the gym 2 hours a day minimum, 7 days a week... and I love it. When I was at my heaviest, I had SOME self-esteem but I always felt I had to date a guy that was REALLY out of shape or someone who in my opinion wasn't very attractive because frankly I thought I couldn't do any better... like I had to settle for what I could get.

Recently, men have been asking me out that - just a year ago - would have passed me by... hell I would have passed me by. My confidence still isn't there yet. I think "he's asking me out? he's too good looking for me". Men 10-15 years my junior! I appreciate the attention believe me, but I'm having a hard time believing I'm not that undeserving fat woman anymore.

So, love some advice from former "big" people or anyone who can tell me how to shake the big girl in my head. Thanks =)

[DrPhil13]

Several things happen when you lose a lot of weight. First, you undergo a physical transformation, which is obvious in your appearance. You also have a transformation in what you believe you can do. You will surprise yourself that things that you could not do several weeks ago may be easy (like pushups, or running, for instance). This gives you more confidence and commitment to working out, right?

The exact same thing happens to you emotionally. You notice that guys who wouldn't give you the time of day, are starting to notice you and ask you out. Surprising right? The "problem" you have is that you have not yet developed the confidence emotionally (like you did physically) to accept this transformation. This is normal. I'll also bet that while you were "fat", you didn't have much interest in things that would make you more attractive to men, such as fashion, conversation, going out, hair style, etc. You will also need to transform on that front.

In time, as you keep on losing weight and feeling more confident in yourself, you will get used to this and will forget what it felt like to be a "fat" girl. Good Luck!