I found out I can't have kids one day, now what?

[Anonymous]

i can't tell anyone around me what's going on with me, I'm not ready for that yet, so I'm hoping people here can help. recently I got to thinking about my sperm count so I decided to check it by taking a home test, I ended up taking two, one like two weeks ago or so and then another a few days ago, both times I got a negative result which means I'm under 20,000, I'm incapable of reproducing, I'm not the type of the guy who likes the idea of living the single life or whatever his whole life, eventually I'm gonna wanna settle down have a family of my own, that's always how I assumed my life would go, its all I've really wanted, someone to love and a family to raise with that person, I know there's always adoption but its not the same thing and any girl I do fall in love with I'm gonna have to tell her about this problem before things get really serious, and what girls gonna wanna stick around after finding that out? I wouldn't blame them after all they would have just found out there's no future with me. What do you do when everything you thought you were working towards disappears? so someone please tell me, what is there to live for now? oh and don't worry I'm not suicidal I just don't know what to do next, its honestly quite heart breaking

Updates

+1 y

another question: what else is there to live for or aim for in life then a family one day?

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Next you should be scheduling an appointment with your physician to confirm the results of the home tests.

Second, relax.

The goals of a wife and kids have a lot more to them then your sperm count.

This is a topic that should come up before engagement, but it can take you time to reach that point with a compatible partner.

Slow down, get your perceived medical issue checked out so you know all your options.

And good luck with dating, it can be daunting.

[1-3-2-4]

Where did you get a sperm test from? I heard as you get older your sperm decreases.. I'm turning 28 this year and I have been thinking more and more about getting a test done but for most I see online only married people get them if they are having a hard time.

I wonder what my count is.

[Anonymous]

my dad couldn't have kids because of a side effect of medication he took when he was 11.

my parents went to a sperm bank and went through that route to have kids. So I'm genetically linked to my mom but not to my dad.

The man standing in front of me is WAY more important to me than the little details like being able to have kids. I'd love a man for who he is and what he means to me even if he wouldn't be able to have kids.

[kespethdude]

I hope my medications don't keep me from having kids, I'm on them because I did something bad when I was younger. It's bad punishment enough that I can't enjoy alcohol or tans. If I can't have kids either, I have no purpose in life.

[Opinion Owner]

it wasn't FDA approved and was in the experimental stages but it saved his life because his kidneys were failing.

[qwertyuiop12345]

when you find someone don't keep it a secret and if they really ;liked you they won't leave you and maybe you'll end up finding true love with someone with their own children that you can care for or if you feel comfortable you can adopt and take care of a child or even more than one that doesn't have a family

[Asker]

I've always had this thought in my head that one day I'd settle down and have a family, with kids I played a part in creating, joining someone else's family just doesn't feel the same I guess I'm just too idealistic about all this, adoption is a little better because at least you'll be giving a kid who needs a home a loving home but its just not the same, I didn't play a part in creating it, it doesn't have an ounce of my dna, I wouldn't be continuing the family line

[noidfome]

Now, I'm not a medical person, but I know all it takes is ONE sperm to get pregnant. So you may be able to get your girl pregnant eventually, after probably a few tries and fails. I wouldn't completely give up! WIth all the medical advances right now that little problem probably CAN be helped. did you try changing your diet too? some things, such as mountain dew, are known to lower sperm count. Don't give up friend! Someone will stick around I'm sure. Best of wishes.

[Anonymous]

That is tough. Talk to a doctor to get more info. And keep in mind that a woman who loves you would not leave you because of it. Some women prefer adoption anyway, and some don't want to have kids at all.

[Mesonfielde]

Are those tests even trustable?

[Asker]

they say they are lol, it it says they're 98% accurate and they're equivalent to a lab sperm test

[stillagoodgirl]

Miracles happen

[Asker]

lol maybe but I'm to going to be specifically counting on one