Is there even a point in marriage if I can't ever have kids?

[Anonymous]

I have never been in a relationship nor even gone out on a date. Though I don't know if there is even a point for me. A drunk driver hit when I was just 9 years old. I survived but he destroyed my natural ability to get pregnant and give birth. Several times in the past I thought maybe I have no purpose in life. Basically I'm a freak that probably no normal man wants. Who is going to want a woman that can't bear him a child?

Even though I'm still a virgin at the age of 20, I'm not sure if there is even a point to continue waiting if I can't ever have kids. Is there a point for me? or should I just have ONS

[abc3643]

You don't need marriage to have kids. So, there is no point in marriage TO have kids.
In other words, marriage and kids are irrelevant.

What is not irrelevant is marriage itself.

Marriage is the legal and societal recognition of the creation of a family.
Your marriage lets the world know: "This is my best, most trusted friend over all other persons."
Your marriage tells society who should make decisions for you if you can not do so yourself.
Even governments will not force you to attack your spouse (this is called "marital privilege"), because the law makes, being married humans themselves, recognize the strength of bond in a marriage is stronger than all other bonds. This is especially so when viewed in the Christian context of marriage:

www.biblegateway.com/.../?search=Matthew%2019%3A6
"Matthew 19:6
King James Version
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

or

"Matthew 19:6
New International Version
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

In other words, through marriage, God unites two people into one person and that no one else should undo what God has done. So, in court cases, marital privilege exists so that one spouse does not have to testify against the other spouse. If you think about the "one united person" concept described in Matthew, marital privilege is consistent with the 5th Amendment right against self-incrimination.

======

But, perhaps, retired Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court best describes the importance of marriage in his Opinion of the Court for Obergefell v. Hodges, the case decided in June 2015 which allowed same-sex marriage throughout the US. (And, after all, same-sex couples cannot reproduce naturally on their own, so no children are involved.)

www.supremecourt.gov/.../14-556_3204.pdf

No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.

The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.

It is so ordered.

=========================

Finally, I want you to know something. There are men out there who do not want children.
One major reason why I married my wife was BECAUSE she could not have children.
So, there... remember that. Many men will love you just as you are and would marry you too.

>>> Marriage is not about sex.
>>> Marriage is not about having kids.
>>> Marriage is about love and commitment and loyalty and trust and going through life together, hand in hand.

[mark000h]

You are not defined by your ability to have children alone. You are unique, and a man looks for more than just a reproductive device in a woman. Someone will love you for you, your personality, your sexuality. No, you should not just have a ONS. Save it for someone you love.

[mark000h]

My sister couldn't have children naturally, she adopted 2 boys.

[Asker]

True. In my sad moments, I guess I've thought about having random sex out of anger after what happened to me but then I've realized that it'll be back to emptyness afterwards. I've always loved babies. Even in my early years I've always imagined getting married and having a family. I always wanted to do things the right way.

[Asker]

Congrats on your sister. I'll look forward to adoption once I find the right man.

[MORPHEUS_12]

Your viewpoints are rather archaic or old-fashioned. This makes me think you live in a country that places too much of an emphasis on virginity and supplying a mate with a house full of kids. Its very sad, and psychologically damaging when a woman's self-worth is determined by how many kids she can bear.

I am child-free and my husband and I have been married for 23 years and together for 30 years. The best decision we ever made was not to have children.

There are a lot of people who are opting not to have children.

[Asker]

I've always wanted to have kids. I wanted what my parents and grandparents have: a stable, good marriage; a family.

[Asker]

Being childfree by choice is different from being able to give birth but to always want kids... and you were robbed out of that life by a drunk driver.

[Guido]

There are lots of guys that don't want kids and there is also the adoption route. Just be upfront with who you date and you will find the right guy to spend your life with. There are also guys that are single dads and you could have a ready made family. There are options.

[Asker]

I was feeling down but yes I'll look forward to adoption. I've always wanted children (always loved babies) even on my early years.

[Waldoe]

Love is the purpose of Life... you can find Love and give Love... you can adopt and Love the children that NEED you.. Love is the point of living... the rest is just to support LOVE

[Asker]

That's so sweet. I was sad and very upset with what happend to me. I had held anger for the longest for the drunk driver (a then 17 year-old) for robbing me out of life. I'm not winning nothing out of this. The guy has been remorseful for the longest. He said it himself that if he could go back in time and return back to the way I was he would. I've been told he used to cry about it.

[Waldoe]

people make mistakes in thier lives, they don't think... they are not being Mean or Distructive.. just Stupid, he will also suffer for the resrt of his life for what he has done. You can make a good life, just find a different Path... you cannnot change the Horrible past, but you can Overcome it, don't let it destoy everything you've dreamed of... adapt and adjust, strong people do...