Is it even worth having my first girlfriend at this point?

[Anonymous]

I am 29 and never had a real girlfriend. I am extremely heartbroken because all my life I have always wanted a girlfriend. I have always wanted a woman whom I can be affectionate and intimate with.

As I watch my peers get married, I just feel very late. Me and a woman can never say we knew each other when we were young. There is so much missed time. I am grown now and approaching my 30s. It just doesn't feel the same.

Meanwhile, I feel like I would be giving my heart to a woman who has loved someone when she was young and got to experience her youth with someone else. Something that I can never say we get to experience. On top of that, I have to deal with the fact she has loved other boys and men before me and made love to them before. I will be some subsequent lover that if she ever lost me, it wouldn't be anything new to her and there is no sweat off her back. It just doesn't seem fair at all.

I am starting to get too old for much younger women. I am starting to become unattractive to 18, 19, and early 20s women due to my age. I feel I am left with women that have too much baggage, and before long, I will be lucky to even find a woman that has never been divorced or has kids from a previous marriage.

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

Trying to focus on circumstances only and not on your character.

People tend to choose partners their age bc they were growing up experiencing similar things in their youth <insert number> years , relating to each other way more. While growing up, one get to have more experience more in different fields of life.. As time goes by the goal and things you can/could achieve vary in different phases.

Like a 6-7 yo kid would learn to read and write, a pupil from primary school would move on to middle school, and high schooler would hopefully graduate... and surpise, but these groups are of the same age...

Now start associating 'achievements' with age groups...
#1. Would it be rare to find someone who hasn't finished hs?
Somewhere maybe, somewhere maybe not, but in general not too shocking.
#2. Would it be rare that someone has never even attended hs? Yes, but still life can get extreme sometimes...
#3. And how about a person cannot read/write? Def 1 in a million...

Now project such 'achievements' to romances
#1. Would it be rare to find someone who has never been in a relationship until 30?
Maybe yes, maybe no.. depending on your community, surroundings etc.
#2. Would it be rare to find someone who has never even been with someone before until 30?
Said above... yes, but still life can get extreme sometimes...
#3. Would it be rare to find someone who has not been involved in any kind of romance until 30 at all and having still requests how his love should be?
Also... def 1 in a million...

Most people are not going to sit around till 30 to meet the first person whom they want to romance. When an 18-19-20 yo 'rejects' a 30 yo, it is not bc of does not appreciate feelings or unattractive (in general), but... (All these are going through their mind in the nick of time, literally milliseconds)
Why is a 30 yo hanging out is making friends graduated people.. Seems like has not change even a bit in 10 years... I hope I will advance more than that in life by then..Soto say, these people reject that form of lifestyle you got to stuck in and not you... however, you are the only one, who can break out of that... not someone's responsibility to get you out...

TLDR: What can you do? Def drop this 'never involved in any kind romantic relationship ever' bc it is exactly like finding that kid who has not learned to read till age 30, who as I said exists, but almost impossible to find, so the way how you want to play the game should be altered in my opinion.

PS: Asking for a partner who is just like you is fair, but finding it absolutely up to you and if not finding that person, you should consider how to make the most out of it

[Asker]

She can of course be 25 or even in her early 20s. I seek a woman where we can be each other's first real relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

I would rather shift towards finding someone who truly likes and loves you, but seems like priority is different for you... so happy hunting out there and move every single rock...

[Anonymous]

Still worth it, and highly possible IF you could get over your near impossible standards. What do you even have to offer to you potential girlfriend? Let’s start there. You’re not a virgin, you’ve also had a romantic past (you got extremely ill after a heart break, seems like you loved that girl so much)…

Basically if you want someone who has the same “inexperience” in love as you are then you’d be looking at non virgin girls who has had a heart break but no successful relationship.

[Asker]

I lost my virginity to a stranger during a weekend whom I never saw again. I never actually made love before. I haven't even kissed a woman in 8 years now. I never had a real girlfriend and especially nothing serious at all. I have had failed encounters with women that rejected me when they finally met me in person. I didn't have any female friends as a teenager other than girls I sat around at lunchtime at school.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay that sucks but you’re not the victim here. You’ve had multiple chances at potential love that you turned away simple bcs the girl has had a romantic past. Next time you meet a girl, just don’t ask her about her past, maybe that’ll trick your brain so that you can actually see the girl for who she is in the PRESENT MOMENT.

[Asker]

It is VERY complicated and something you will never understand. Me and a woman can no longer say we knew each other when we were young. The next best thing is to find a woman just as inexperienced as me and we share our first relationship together.

[Opinion Owner]

Realistically, do YOU think you can ever land a woman like that? You’ve said it yourself multiple times here, your requirement might sound simple but realistically it’s almost impossible huh? You’re 29 and still single even after years of trying and you are running out of time. You’re either not trying hard enough (to meet people IRL) or you’re trying to hard that you came across as creepy (might explain why you keep getting rejected)

[Drumlin2001]

I didn't have any sort of relationship or physical intimacy till 35, not even a kiss. By 40 I was engaged with 2 kids.
You can have everything you want of you're prepared to work at it. But you do come across a little judgmental of people. By 30 you have to expect people to have lived a life. They are still good people.

[coachTanthony]

It's not worth it. You will never and I mean ever get over those things you have said in this post. They mean more to you then the actual person you will meet. therefor for her sake... No just don't.

[Anemone978]

Calm down you are only 29.. Get out more if you are a shy person get anxiety pills they really help get you out of your own head. Then just focus on trying to eat healthy and look better in general.. there are still plenty of hot guys at your age but if you wait to long it will never happen. Don't worry too much about a girls past as long as she isn't into hookups you should be fine to start a romance if you get along really well. Be optimistic.. and grab the life you want to have..

[zagor]

If you're going to be picky and only go for hot 18-22 year olds, yeah, you might as well load up on some good video games.

If you are going to be realistic, then you're not too old at all. A lot of women focus on education and careers and don't date seriously until mid-20's or later. And most guys I know don't get married until late 20's or their 30's.

[DextroShade]

Get your money up and try overseas like Latin America or Eastern Europe where more of the women are still feminine instead of feminist. Feminism and social media have ruined most women in the West and turned them into entitled narcissistic whores.

[msc545]

Stop trolling. This is your own fault due to your impossible "standards" and desires. You have been told that repeatedly on here, and you just keep ignoring the adviceyou have gotten.

[Asker]

I am not asking for much at all. I seek a woman with the same relationship inexperience as me. Why is that not fair?

[Landofifireandice]

Dude i know how you feel

last year i was askin the same ques

[Asker]

Exactly, and people are quick to criticize and not understand.

[slatyb]

Get some counseling, start dating online.

[Archferret]

Consider international options too ;)

[IHateBeingaMan]

i hate nature and reality

[Anonymous]

GAG's favorite Whiner is back 🤣