My girlfriend has completely changed since starting university?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys Me and my girlfriend are both in our early 20's and have been in a relationship for over 2 years now, in no means has it been easy, it's been extremely rocky, we fight more than probably any other couple i know, but also i don't know a couple who's in love with each other like we are, but we always make things right in the end, we love and care for each other crazy amount and have even spoken about getting married and having kids in the near future, she is 'the one', we share so many hobbies and interests and she stands out from anybody I've ever dated before, she's amazing. But since last month she found out she had gotten into University my girlfriend has completely changed, she's cold, very distant, her attitude and traits have all changed, promises she swore to keep whilst she was away have all been broke, she never texts or calls, she was this shy innocent quiet girl which i loved and she's now this outspoken heavy drinker who shouts and swears at me all the time and goes crazy at me when I simply text her good morning or how her day is going, she has now started to ignore me for days at a time, she seems to just disappear, she is 'too busy' for me etc. I'll just add that before she found out she was going to Uni she spoke to me and my family in detail about wanting a family and wanting to get married in the near future, wanting to put a deposit down on a flat and moving away together, so why has she changed so drastically since going to Uni? How is it possible to change your feelings that quickly when all I've done is good to her, I'm no angel but I've been dragged through hell for this girl because she's worth it, she is the first girl I have truly loved and will always love no matter what happens, is this normal for her to of changed so much and will this pass over some period of time? All replies appreciated, thanks guys!

[far2gud4u]

I am so sorry but it looks like you will lose her...

She is basically enjoying her freedom (albeit a little too much) and you are something which restricts that...

She most likely will want to date etc and she knows she has promised you other things. You are basically a conscience in human form who reminds her she keeps breaking promises and rules and letting you down.

This negativity will end you so you have one of 2 options:

1) you can tell her how you want it to be and discuss your future together, potentially limiting your relationship at the same time

or

2) you can tell her you understand she is going to have fun with her new friends and that you dont want to be forgotten about. Just ask her to be courteous and let you know if she has been out late that she got home safe so you won't wake her with a good morning text.

[Asker]

Thank you for your comment! I can definitely see it is going drastically downhill but I just am so confused how within a month everything has changed, can you express to your other half you want to move in together, marry them, have children together etc then only a few weeks later treat them like they mean nothing to you and like they are a stranger :/ I want her to enjoy her Uni life but at the same time I can't help but feel she is overdoing it and leaving me behind

[far2gud4u]

Your girlfriend will change a lot more before she is mature. At her age she is only 'acting like a grownup' rather than being a grown up. I think her plans with you have not necessarily changed, she wants to have her fun and then come back to you. However that isn't fair on you because I doubt her fun will stop at drinking and socialising in a platonic way

[Little_Too_Late]

Sadly, it's completely possible. Uni is a whole other world and many options become available to you. If you are her first big love, she might want more experiences in that department. In fact, she may want experiences of all kinds, like partying.

The social group she hangs around with and the stress she has in uni may also contribute to her swearing, drinking, change of mind and personality.

I can't say this will pass over. It might, but she may enjoy life more this way and stay like she is now. But maybe it's just a phase and will eventually pass. It can go either way, I'm afraid.

In the meantime, try your best to have a conversation with her about this so you both know where you stand with each other.

[Anonymous]

I think she wants to explore the waters some. That can happen, college, the environment, the people, the abundance of guys, maybe she just wants a break from you for a bit.

[R3d_Anonymous]

This is to be expected. This is why pre-university relationships have almost no chances of lasting. There's just no way. How can you honestly expect someone to stay with some significant other that they barely even see when they have all these other new opportunities and potential experiences in college? It's neither of you guys' fault. Unfortunately, you two should break up, at least temporarily. Live your own lives. Then if later down the road she wants to reconcile, you can consider it, but don't count on it. For now, live your own lives.

Meet someone new. Don't be do caught up in whether a relationship lasts, because they usually don't. Just try, give your best, and enjoy them while they do, at least for the next few years.

[Prof_Don]

There is a reason why couples tend to break up after high school and starting college.

This relationship is over... the sooner u accept this, the sooner you'll heal, and the sooner you'll find someone else.

[Anonymous]

It might be just a phase. Give her some time... she'll bounce back to herself eventually, I'm sure ;)

[vengfulone]

She has found a new world, guy's booze, guy's , parties. and did I mention guy's. You should move on! she 's moved on from you!

[abundantlyrich]

It's the alcohol