I have been dating this girl for about 8 months and it is by far the best relationship I’ve ever had, this is the first time that I have thought about marriage and been confident in it. She found out recently that she may be sent back to her home country very soon and it’s caught us both by surprise. It’s not guaranteed and it’s about a 50% chance probably.
I also just found out my rent raised a significant amount, so I had to quickly find a new place. Before all this, I had asked her if she would be interested in moving in together. She said no because she thought it would add too much stress right now, which was fair and I didn’t push it. So when I found out about my rent increase I was looking for apartments on my own and I had to do it quickly since I had a lot of travel coming up and not much time to move.
I found a place and got approved, but there was a second place that was better and cheaper but had a very unknown move in date. I spoke with friends, family and my girlfriend about it and my friends and family said to take the guaranteed place, and to not risk it. My girlfriend loved the other place and thought it was worth the risk.
She said that I could move in with her for a few months and wait to look at other apartments, but that scared me since I didn’t even know if she would be here and I didn’t want to miss out on an apartment I liked. I did discuss it with her but I decided to go with the safe place. She told me yesterday that she was hurt and upset that I didn’t take her offer to buy me more time and asked if I really thought she was going to be sent away. She was also hurt I made this decision without her. And I said “the unknown scares me on top of the fact that you said you didn’t want to move in together back when I was looking”. I think she is just scared of losing me, and I am too, but I was also scared of not having a place to live if this all goes wrong, which I really hope it doesn’t. But did I make the right decision?
I also just found out my rent raised a significant amount, so I had to quickly find a new place. Before all this, I had asked her if she would be interested in moving in together. She said no because she thought it would add too much stress right now, which was fair and I didn’t push it. So when I found out about my rent increase I was looking for apartments on my own and I had to do it quickly since I had a lot of travel coming up and not much time to move.
I found a place and got approved, but there was a second place that was better and cheaper but had a very unknown move in date. I spoke with friends, family and my girlfriend about it and my friends and family said to take the guaranteed place, and to not risk it. My girlfriend loved the other place and thought it was worth the risk.
She said that I could move in with her for a few months and wait to look at other apartments, but that scared me since I didn’t even know if she would be here and I didn’t want to miss out on an apartment I liked. I did discuss it with her but I decided to go with the safe place. She told me yesterday that she was hurt and upset that I didn’t take her offer to buy me more time and asked if I really thought she was going to be sent away. She was also hurt I made this decision without her. And I said “the unknown scares me on top of the fact that you said you didn’t want to move in together back when I was looking”. I think she is just scared of losing me, and I am too, but I was also scared of not having a place to live if this all goes wrong, which I really hope it doesn’t. But did I make the right decision?
Updates
9 mo
I absolutely want to move in with her, but there are far too many unknowns on both of our sides, and I don’t want to risk being homeless, as much as I love her and want to be there for her
What Girls & Guys Said
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2Opinion
For you maybe buy for her you fucked up big. Women go by feelings and see logic years latter.
She wants you with her to knock her up if needed to stay there.
She wanted you with her and is betrayed that you chose safety over her. End of story for her.
What ever you think or did smart won't matter to her. Even when you do right you can fuck up with a girl.
We couldn't shouldn't take all the risks at same time. Change is good. Many changes together are not good. We don't like changes. Changes are good for us.
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