Huge body image problems!

[Anonymous]

I have always had self esteem problems regarding how I look. I'm not overweight and never have been, but I am a bit "thick"... I don't have a flat stomach, and I have thick thighs, with some cellulite. I want to lose weight and I've been watching my diet strictly, because I have insulin resistance, which makes it nearly impossible to lose weight! I exercise 6 days a week, cardio for 30 minutes pus strength training 3x a week... I don't get it, some girls have burger over burger and they don't gain a pound! I make an effort and barely lose anything... so I'm really down.

Anyway, the thing is, I don't have great hair, I don't have a great face and I don't have a great body (to all I described above, add that I have small breasts). I don't think I'm ugly because I get some attention from guys and many people tell me I look good, but I still know I'm so far from being hot...

And on one hand you have people insisting on the fact that guys don't really care about looks as much as it seems, but then (especially here on GAG), all guys want a hot girl! And in real life I always see guys going for the hot girls first, so I feel very inferior.

Then there are people who say feeling bad about the way you look is "first world problems, think of starving kids in Africa", and I agree, I've been blessed with better life circumstances and looks shouldn't matter, but I can't overcome my problems... so I also feel bad about that, that I can't get over such a silly problem and it makes me self absorbed (I do care about others and volunteer, but still).

Sometimes I think I should just save money and get a ton of plastic surgery, but is there a better way to overcome this?

[Anonymous]

Weight loss is completely personal, it varies for everyone, so it's not very useful to compare to others with regards to this.

I think you're doing extremely well, you should proud! How long have you been following this regime? It takes time for many.

Also, yes it's definitely true that physical appearance is something most will notice and care about. Online, guys will say all these sweet things just to get on your nice side but are being quite hypocritical. What the bigger point they may be trying to tell you is that it is NOT everything. Just because a girl isn't a model, doesn't mean she's doomed. Besides, everyone has different definitions of what is attraction.

So I say you're already doing a fine job, keep it up!

[asdaven]

Be happy with who you are :)...I think girls judge each others appearances way more than guys do. As a guy, personally I find a lot of girls diet too much and end up being so skinny. Personally, I find the Holocaust survivor look very unattractive. Its funny ill be talking to a girl and she ll be like I'm getting fat, I need to go on a diet. I laugh and I'm like your not fat, you go on a diet, your gonna loom like your starving yourself! Lol

[justme20]

Honey you need to learn to love yourself for who you are and how you look. Just because you don't think something is great doesn't mean someone else wont. I also can't lose weight due to a hormonal imbalance due to the depo provera shot 3.5 years ago. If you have people showing you attention I'm sure you look great! I also have body issues as does everyone but remember this is GAG. Majority of the guys here are virgins and bitter so they make up some crazy "look" women should have but remember no woman is perfect ever! Good luck

[KingsOfleon88]

Do you know how many women go through plastic surgery only to obsess about something else and find another perceived flaw. The only solution to the problem, is working on the inside. When you truly learn to love yourself entirely, that's when you won't see them as flaws, or feel inferior to anyone. Everything has to come from within, you just have to see it for yourself.

[Asker]

But what about guys who see "hot girls" as the ultimate goal, who treat them like their goddesses and superior to the rest of us average ones?

[KingsOfleon88]

But it's human nature. Men AND women are both going to look at someone's looks. It's not only the men who are guilty of this. How many women would look at guys like ryan gosling before they look at us average dudes...ALL

[Asker]

But women are hotter than men, and there are hotter women than hotter men. So there's more pressure on us. Also I see way more boobs and asses on TV than hot guys. And I for one hate the stereotypical hot guy look they're too generic, I prefer the unique look of an average guy, it's hard to explain, but I don't like feeling like I'm with a clone, someone who looks like he came from a cookie cutter... for me "hot" guys feel more like objects than humans, it's weird.