How can I encourage my friend to lose weight?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who's quite heavy. She complains about her weight all the time, and I think she has pretty low self esteem. The problem is she's never done anything about it or even tried to. The thing is she has a pretty face, and I know she'd look really good and be happier and more confident as well as feeling better if she lost weight, but I don't think I can say anything to her without offending her. I've tried telling her that I'm on a diet or working out or whatever in the hope that she'd join in, but she doesn't seem interested. Should I just mind my own business? I just hate to see her so unhappy with herself because of something that's fixable...

[shahab00x]

She pictures herself as a fat girl. First and foremost she needs to change her self image. Otherwise she can't lose weight. Please don't use the term "lose weight" in front of her. Say "become thin or fit". Don't focus on the fact that she is fat, shift the focus to being thin. If she complains about her weight again, ask her how does she want to look? Then make her describe it. It'll change her self image. Just remember, she needs to picture herself as a thin girl in order to start and continue exercising.

[Anonymous]

losing weight is a lifestyle change. Something like that requires someone to get to a point where it is more painful to NOT lose the weight.

Tell her to either do something about it or stop complaining.

and if she gets offended then drop the subject and move on.

[lace1228]

I would just be her friend and be suppotive of her no matter what. She needs to get to a point where she really wants to change. This isn't easy for anyone and she may feel its to late for her especially if she has been overweight for a very long time. Maybe talk to her in away of what are her goals in life what she would love to accomplish. Tell her you will always be there no matter what and that you want to help her in anything she needs or wants help with.

[CorneliaisPretty]

you should say something like "I can help you lose weight if that's what you really want" but if she says no then that's when you know that all she's really doing is fishing for compliments(reassurance that she's pretty)

[Alonso14]

Ask her to become your gym partner or something?

Losing weight is something that takes effort and if she doesn't really want to do it or doesn't beleive she can, she won't, regardless of how you try to support her.

[Anonymous]

She wants to be told that she's already pretty. She'll figure out if she wants to lose weight on her own, she just has bad self image and is looking for some compliments. Don't do it though, she'll think you're doing it just because you're her friend. She needs validation from people she doesn't know

[PhilaPenn]

I'm learning the hard way that you can't fix people. Try not to worry about it. She obviously doesn't care that much.