I need tips on self confidence... I don't know...

[Anonymous]

There's this guy I like... and he likes me back. He always says he thinks I'm pretty, and he even has told me I'm hot. But I just don't see it. I mean, I'm sure he means well and all... but I know I'm not hot, I'm just your average chick.

He has really pretty/hot friends... maybe he himself has low confidence and he plays it safer with me, instead of risking rejection from one of them. My problem is that, while technically I'm not overweight, I'm far from looking toned and lean, which is my ideal, I have some lovehandles, and fat thighs. I'm soft all over. When I'm standing I look thin, but when I sit I feel all the extra fat! The thing is, it's hormonal, I have insulin resistance amd this makes it extra difficult to lose weight. I work out almost daily, and try to watch my diet, but it's all frustratingly slow.

Aside from this, I hte my face, I think my fetures are a bit less than feminine... I don't think I'm pretty... and my hair sucks! It's extremely thin and fine and it gets tangled so easily, I start getting naturally occurring dreadlocks if I'm not careful!

Aside from trying to lose weight, I don't know what to do, this guy has been hitting on me a lot, I like him, but I keep refusing because I feel so self conscious of what he might think if things get more physical... my problem I guess is that I just don't feel attractive, and if there are so many prettier, actually hot girls, why did he go for me?

[RaoAyush]

If a person believes you look good and compliments you and actually likes you, he MEANS it!

(depending on the type of person he is)

Stop being so critical of yourself. There are somethings you can change to look better. there's always wearing some make up, dressing better, choosing the right kind of shampoo to help your hair etc. Certain things like losing weight need more of a solid resolve. Working out at the gym really pays off in time even in your case. Its all about perseverance.

Why are you judging yourself? Are you trying to say only pretty people are the best? Are you trying to say you suck? you need to take a look at life from a different perspective. Looks aren't something that you can really change a lot (unless you do plastic surgery which I wouldn't really recommend) Accept who you are and try to make yourself better.

As for saying he has low standards, I can't believe any person with any amount of confidence would actually believe they suck! Some people just aren't all that judgmental! I had an ex who was ehh not exactly thin either and she wasn't the prettiest girl in the world but she still meant the world to me. Don't be a victim of mass media.

Do you know why you don't have self confidence? It's because you're just so goddamn self critical that you're not even giving yourself a chance to believe that you are worth something. So, please stop being such an a**hole to yourself and look at the positive things about you!

I don't have the best looks in the world either and I'd be average at the most but hey! at the end of the day if you think your looks don't really matter that much and give off self confidence, you actually look better to others and you'll feel good about yourself! I'm not saying stick your head in the clouds all the time! it's good to know and acknowledge your looks but its even better to just try and not fuss over what you don't have!

He's hitting on you! you like him back! what're you waiting for?

[Confucius16]

If he thinks you're beautiful, if you keep rejecting him, then he isn't going to know you like him. He will think that you aren't interested in him, and he won't know that you reject him because you don't feel confident about your looks. Be confident, and your confidence will show. Like attracts like. If you feel good about yourself, then you can feel good about other people. You can't expect him to be able to read your minds. It is probably frustrating for him that you keep rejecting his advances.

If, however, he is flirting with you only for his friends, and it isn't real, then be prepared. Unless you ask him, you won't know.Instead of asking why he goes for you, go for it. The fear of acting could make you regret not acting for many years to come if you are too late.

[Markezzo]

Clearly he has his own taste, and knowing what you like is not a sign of low self-confidence.

Relationships aren't only about looks, even if you look perfect that doesn't mean you'd "deserve" him more. You need to be honest with your feelings and fight to be with the one you want.

I'm not the greatest, but why should I wait to live my life? I'd miss out on everything.

It's the journey, not the destination. It' about dating the one you like, having fun, and improving yourself along the way. It's not about waiting around until you magically deserve someone. I wish you both good luck ^^

[Anonymous]

ur thinkin about it all wrong...when a guy likes a girl...some things just don't matter.

my ex gained a lot of weight, to the point where the people at the salon she's went to even pointed it out, her frends pointed it out, etc... to me it didn't matter. at one point she asked if she shud hit the gym with her gf...i said no, I like you just the way you are.

do I like chubby girls? not especially? did I care that she got a bit heavier? not particularly. some guys do like girls with a little bit extra meat tho. I would personally prefer a healthy girl that eats burgers and fries over an anorexic girl that gets a salad and frozen yogurt. no ones perfect.

why do you see hot girls with average looking guys and vice versa? for the longest time I wondered that too. the answer is sometimes money, other times its just that looks didn't really matter to them...just personality, attitude, and love.

[youngchop415415]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even though people talk about about leagues and scales to rate people, it doesn't exist. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[Racez]

It must be because of not your physical appearance, but it's for who you are. He loves who you are, and that's what is hot for him.

[red324]

Why don't you give this guy a chance? so what if you think you're ugly or average or whatever. Let him take you out on a few dates. Also flirt back, he's not going to hit on you forever!

[Anonymous]

he clearly finds you attactive even if you can't see it it must be true : )

[Anonymous]

dont belive in confidence . it isn't real