Any tips on how to work on self confidence?

Question

I'm mostly aiming this one at people who have gone through it and found ways to help themselves feel a bit better about themselves. It's gotten to the point where I don't even like looking in mirrors, and I avoid looking at myself while I shower. I'm 224 pounds, 5'4", and will be 17 years old in one month. My weight has made my self confidence pretty low, but I've tried so hard to fix that issue to no avail. My family never really helped. They liked to make fun of me for my weight, although they were all over 200 pounds themselves, which somehow made the insults even worse. I also have a medical problem that apparently makes losing weight harder. I live with many people on one income, so I have no choice in food besides whatever the adults throw onto the table, but I do try to exercise when I can. I've managed to drop 6 pounds in the last five or so months of exercising, but it hasn't helped raise my spirits much. People tell me I'm pretty, but I can't really believe them when the only time I'm complimented by people outside of my friend group/online is when I tilt my camera screen and hold it a certain way in certain light with certain makeup on. Has anyone faced this issue and overcome it using a specific method, or is losing weight the only way to fix this? (No comments about how bad my weight is, I obviously know that I'm fat already and don't need you to tell me how big, ugly, pathetic, unhealthy, etc I am. Also, please no "don't care about what anyone thinks, grow a backbone" type comments. I would definitely take that advice if I could.)

Dipsy · Accepted Answer

Confidence is about believing in yourself and liking (being content with) yourself. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses.
Let's say a person doesn't have any strengths and only weaknesses, he/she WILL feel not confident/very low self-esteem. Why would she/he believe in him/herself when that person hasn't got any good things about them? Acting like you don't care about stuff would be false confidence, and easy to look through.

You have to develop real confidence, true confidence. You already have some strengths: the will to better yourself, you have friends (according to your text; some people don't have friends at all). I don't know your other strengths, but I'm sure you have a lot more than those 2.

You also have a weakness: you think that you're not good enough (according to what you said). If you could lose weight, you would definitely feel A LOT better about your confidence.
Let me explain: Losing weight is not only about the end goal of being 'normal weight', in fact, it's mainly about the way to get there. You have to work hard, don't give up and THAT'S what gives you the confidence.

People will respect you a lot if they see your willpower (and your success) in losing weight. If you manage to succeed, your willpower is way bigger than most other overweight people, because they can't endure to lose weight.

So I think that's your main issue. I'm sure you'll feel a lot better if you lose weight (you seem to be quite upset with it, so it'll make you happier too).

Good luck :) Tell me if you need more advice

Thisperson01 · Accepted Answer

Well if you want to lose weight then keep on working at it and be determined to do it. I know similar people who have worked their butts off to achieve their goals and they had people laugh at them and put them down as well. Or if you are happy with how you are, then you have to believe that you are just as good as anyone else and ignore those around you. Your family is just insecure and all just want to make you a laughing target to get their minds off their own insecurities. And let me tell you personally you look cute, but you have to tell yourself and believe that you are pretty. i hope I could help

PeachSunset · Accepted Answer

I just look in a mirror and go "Omg hi there boo, where did your fine ass come from? Well you are some fancy ass vanilla cake and you deserve a boo for yourself now too."
Lmao just kidding. But if you stare in a mirror for 5 minutes a day with good posture and keep telling yourself you're beautiful and worthy etc it can really help. Try to limit mirror time, like maybe look in a mirror 2-3 times a day and only for a maximum of 1 minute (doing makeup counts as mirror time but you can spend however long your makeup takes you). Remember that we see ourselves 20-30% uglier than society sees us, believe me. Its science. Make a nightly routine or treat yourself to a spa day weekly. On spa days, I treat myself by taking a bath with a bath bomb or soap bar, lighting a candle, and wearing my favorite face mask. Also remember that beauty is not forever and if you focus on beauty alone nothing good will come out of it because your soul is whats forever. Not everyone is the most beautiful person in the world or has exceedingly good looks. And even if you're hideous there's always someone out there who is going to think you're beautiful. But looking at your profile pic I can already tell you are beautiful (and I don't do feel-good-lying.) Also exercise alone with the daily beauty routine. It is fine to have a beauty routine and exercise routine because trying hard helps you feel beautiful because of the effort you applied. Hope this helped :-)

MrTexan37 · Answer

Ok i get what your saying and at your age it is a process, now you theoretically can eat anything and lose weight what you need to learn in that aspect is portion control dont eat a heaping helping and you must find a workout routine and stick with it and if your able to work get a job and then you can get some healthier foods to help reach your goal YOU MUST BELIEVE you can do it cause NOONES gonna believe in you i had to learn this the hard way and get on youtube there's a gazillion fitness experts and pros who can help you along the way I WAS IN YOUR SITUATION i had little to no money for foods and absolutely no will power to change, but reading your post it seems you had the same problem as me you dont have knowlege of "where to start" or "what to do" im telling you there is a way but YOU must find it good luck and God bless!

TheBraveLion · Answer

Well firstly it really is that simple: "don't give a FUCK about what others think". About your looks... it's who you are you can't change it! you're unique compared to everyone else soo you'll have to accept it :) Your weight... remember you can ALWAYS change that if you want to improve your looks for self satisfaction and remember, everyone is self conscious! :) If you want more advice/help just pm me.

Memora · Answer

Read my mytake

apple24 · Answer

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