Can you help me figure out their behavior?

[Anonymous]

I am a professional hockey player, and captain of a men's team. My grandfather was my coach up until 2006, when he passed away from cancer. He trained me since I was a little girl. I have won everything you can win and hold a few records in my league. The only thing that alludes me is MVP. My team has failed to win a championship, and my dreams of winning the trophy are put on hold season after season. This one trophy means so much to me because it was what my grandfather had me promise him that I would win. He believed that I could lead my team to victory. I promised him. My team, however treat me with complete disrespect, and no matter what I do they don't listen. Now they are not children, they are grown men ranging from 27-34 years old. They always try to think of ways to get rid of me, and I tell them if they help me fulfill my grandfathers wish, I will retire a they can have their team back to all guys. They still give up and don't try. They fake injuries and act like babies. I played last year having had a ruptured spleen and back surgery, I would die on the ice to keep my promise. They know how much it means to me and yet they purposely sabotage me and I wonder why. Can anyone explain their behavior or tell me what I should do to get them to listen? Leaving is not an option because no other team will take me, and I can't quit...I promised...please help!

[Xillia]

Dang, a passion to win a championship... It's easier said than done. I'm surprised the current coach isn't showing much of the commitment as much as you.

Usually when I was leading my football team I wasn't captain or anything I actually had to make them realize that they needed to change their perseverance. After that a lot people hated me, but what was strange is that a practice after I told everyone to keep up the baddest kid tried to fight me. I didn't fight him but I just kept dodging him, I told him to get a hold of himself and he sopped as a few other player stopped him themselves. I told the team that were not gona get anywhere if we direct our frustration at each other. Everyone lost their hate for me and did their job. We then went undefeated until I left football. (No lie)

What I'm saying is that you still can get them to side with you. You just need to either break them, or have one person in the team to help you. One person can help a lot.

[Asker]

Thank you I sure nee all the help I can get...and a miracle

[Xillia]

Like I keep telling everyone. "Just keep swinging with pride emotionally and physically to change reality the way you want it" pursue for the miracle.

[Anonymous]

Is there one guy on the team who you get along with, who could give you the inside tip on why the guys are reacting the way they do? I guess it could be a gender politics issue, or they feel like you want to win for your own purposes and you don't actually care about the team itself. Perhaps your leadership style grates, or doesn't inspire them to rise to the challenges. Maybe they feel you are taking on more responsibility than you're entitled to, ie trying to coach rather than captain? Good luck, I hope you can turn it around. Your grandfather would be proud of your commitment regardless of the result.

PS I play soccer with mens teams and though they know I can play quite well, they all treat me like a female player, ie going a bit easier on me in tackles etc. Maybe guys don't react well to a woman who puts their commitment and hardiness to shame. I don't normally support this idea, but could you play the female card...?