How do you stop hating everything you do?

Question

Everything I do, no matter how good or bad I always hate. I always end up expecting perfection and professionalism out of everything. Every hobby I do I'm never satisfied with my progress or how it looks and my mind goes "it's not good enough, make it better" and se it ends up in me both hating it and hating myself. I never have these expectations on others, I just want to be good enough at everything I do cause it feels as though I'm not good at anything I do. I hate the whole "don't compare yourself to others", how else will you know when you've made it, how else will you know if what your doing isn't good enough yet. I just wish to love the things I do and not feel like I wanna destroy everything I create out of pure hate and anger.

BoopBoopBeep · Accepted Answer

You need to reframe what success looks like. I'm big in the charity race circuit in my community. Did over 60 of them last year. I've gotten first through third in my age group a few times, but I only got first overall once. You know what's great about the community (the racing community)... nobody cares. Racing is the only sport where you can be on the field with actual world class professionals. I'm never going to play football with Tom Brady. I'm never going to shoot hoops with Michael Jordan, but I can be out there on the same course as former olympians who do this for a living. You're not racing the other person. You're racing yourself. Your former time on that course, your last performance, your stats that your'e tracking... whatever. I want to do better on every race, sure, but if I don't it's not the end of the world, and nobody gives a shite but me.

Do I make the most money in the world? Nope. Do I make the most money on G@G, nope. Do I even make the most I've ever made in my life? Nope, less than half of that. Less than 20% of what I used to if you include other forms of income beside wages. But I make more than I need, so that's a win.

What is it that you're doing that isn't good enough. Don't say "everything" that's a cop out answer. You don't shower or take a shite well? That's everything. Painting miniatures? Okay, well what is going to change if you were 40% better tomorrow? I played cello for almost a decade. I was very good at it. That didn't happen overnight. I could have stomped my feet like a child and thrown it out the window and I never would have gotten good at it. If you get a shite attitude though you're not going to enjoy what you do, and if you don't enjoy what you do you're never going to get good at it.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

We'll, Steve Jobs was a perfectionist as well.. but he found way to make it very effective.

This is really a self worth issue in my view. I had perfectionism and decision making issues. It's internal wounds causing this issue... training/trauma. In essence in my view, this is a root of sadness and self loathing.

There's solutions to that... you can manage the symptoms or you can address the root causes. It's always more effective to address the roots, for that is where it starts.

As the Bible talks about light and dark... stuff hidden in the dark is causing these issues. Exposing them to the light, releasing the power they have over you and putting God's love back in (light), freedom, is the solution so that healing and growth occur and you can be your better self, as God designed you, before the fallen world imposed it'self.

Such is human condition... harvest is great, workers are few... remains true. heal and become one of the workers.

Courtneyblabla · Accepted Answer

You can ask someone to critic what you do. But don’t always expect perfection in what you do. Just take it easy. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You have to loosen up a bit. You don’t always have to love what you do. And you also don’t have to hate what you do. Sometimes you just gotta do it with a calm mind. Don’t worry too much about it. It’s only making yourself feel worse. :)

Jessica405 · Accepted Answer

Just remember. There are 3 ways to do something. The right way. The wrong way The way you end up doing it. Just be please you have done it!

tremendousfern · Answer

The problem isn't your perfectionism or drive to be better than others at a skill. Those are positive traits. Your issue is your self-hatred. You've got to get that shit sorted out. It sounds like you've let past traumas imprison you into a poisonous mindset.

I think the first thing you need to do is recognize that all of your hateful thoughts towards yourself and others are the result of years of doing the mental equivalent of drinking battery acid. If you can get yourself to stop chugging battery acid daily then you'll be much better able to start fixing what's wrong.

Massageman · Answer

Stop expecting total perfection.

I am the same way- you have plenty of company

Design your chores/whatever you do for a "reasonable " level of perfection. Work in small steps and derive satisfaction from completing each step well enough, then move to the next step.

Gent207-2 · Answer

You need to stop comparing yourself to others or the real you from the one you imagined forbthe two will never be the same and you will always be miserable. Make peace with your divided self

Paris13 · Answer

Begin your Beguine By Having More Self Esteem and Confidence and Maybe Those Who Do Not See You as a Someone-----Get Rid of The,. xxoo

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i have your answer. i don't finish anything. that way it stays great in it's entirety.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

Ask a therapist for help...

strateguy632 · Answer

find the benefits

laly520 · Answer

therapy would help big time

How do you stop hating everything you do?

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